


Felicity's battle

by MillieR



Category: TeamArrow - Fandom, olicity - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Arrow - Freeform, F/M, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-08-15 17:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 56,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8067196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MillieR/pseuds/MillieR
Summary: Felicity was dating ray before Oliver left to fight Rahs Al Ghul and everything was alright, Oliver still told Felicity he loved her before he left. 
When Felicity came home after finding out Oliver was dead she was devastated. Ray knew Oliver was the arrow and got angry and Felicity for being upset and heartbroken over Oliver and starts to hit her it got worse and worse... what happens when Oliver returns?





	1. How did I get here?

**Author's Note:**

> Abuse/Sexual harassment warning (doesn't go in to detail about the sexual harassment but still) 
> 
> Please review! Sorry for any spelling/punctuation mistakes!

How did she get here? 

Felicity was currently lying on the floor, just woken up after passing out there hours prior. 

Ray wasn't gone now, she knew that. He always left afterwards. After he beat the crap out of her he'd leave and when he saw her again he'd pretend nothing had happened. The first time she's confronted him about it his pretended he didn't know what she was on about. The second time he'd turned angry and threatened her, and to out team arrow to the police if she told anyone. 

At first Felicity was terrified and intent on going to the police but then she thought what had she got left? Why was she fighting? For Oliver? He was dead. For herself? She was lost. For Digg? Or Roy? They had Laurel, they'd be fine. For the mission? She wasn't needed. 

Why should she got to the police and get them all arrested along with Ray, to help her when she had no real purpose, other than being his punching bag? Team arrow? They had purpose he couldn't get them locked up because the city needed them, they don't need her.

Of course they didn't know she felt this way. She had still gone to work in her dressed but now wore tights and cardigans to cover bruises. She still went to the foundary and helped with team and put on a fake smile and pretended to be that same bubbly IT girl everyone loved. Any cracks in her mask were just passed off as her grief over Oliver's death last month.

Ray had become over protective and jealous before Oliver had left but she didn't think much of it apart from she told him nothing was happening and to snap out of it. 

Then after Oliver left he became curios and suspicious of her and the team... that's when he found out about them. He didn't tell her that he knew at first. Not until Malcolm Marlyn made his appearance at the Arrow Cave and gave them the news that Oliver was dead. 

She came home that day and broke down in tears as soon as she shut the door. She didn't notice Ray was on her couch until he carried her to it and sat her next to him. He acted so... careing and concerned. But she couldn't tell him why she was upset. So she wiped her eyes and said she was fine. 

That was the first time he'd slapped her. He'd slapped her cheek and she'd looked at him in shock. He had screamed at her to not lie to him and that he knew about Oliver and that he was dead because he'd bugged the her and then bugged the lair. 

He'd yelled at her that she was not to grieve over any man other than him because he was the man in her life. He'd continued to beat her and she'd had to wear lots of makeup the next day.

Everyone had assumed it was to hide her puffy cheeks, and dark circles under her eyes because she didn't sleep. No one questioned her, but she did get glances of sympathy from the team. 

She hadn't grieved over Oliver properly since that night and it was eating her alive and she needed to let it out but she couldn't.

She was too scared that first time to go to the cops but she should have. She wished she did.

She was being weak. Sara would have beat them up. Laurel would have him in jail. But she was just an IT girl. Boring. Defenceless. Weak. Heartbroken.

She picked herself up off the floor and limped to the shower. She washed away the blood and relaxed her muscles.

When she got out she put on an old MIT jumper and leggings. She didn't just cover her bruises to keep others from finding out. She didn't want to see them. They made her feel sick. She'd always sworn she wouldn't be the girl who stayed in a relationship like this. But here she was. And there was no way out. And what was worse? She didn't care. 

She had just gotten under her covers when she heard the door open and she sat up straight and then hissed at the pain in her ribs and back. 

A few seconds later a very drunk Ray was in her room with his jacket half off. 

He threw it off and did the same with his shirt and pants as Felicity sat there begging him to leave. Tears were streaming down her face and she was shaking.

He smirked and took off his boxers and came over to her. She screamed so he slammed a hand over her mouth. 

He got off the MIT jumper that was luckily still in one piece, not that that mattered right now at all. He then took off all of her clothes until she was naked infront of him. "You're mine" he growled in her ear as she sobbed.

****

Once it was over he left her there. Curled in her duvet sobbing and shaking.

Eventually she got herself back in to the shower and repeated everything she'd just done less than an hour ago. 

She got dressed in different leggings but the same top and sat there with her wet her hanging around her face, hugging her knees. She cried until there was no more tears left to cry. 

****

The next day she walked in to work feeling numb. She jumped at every single sound or movement. She tried to avoid Ray and it seemed like he didn't want to see her either because she made the whole day without seeing him.

Felicity rushed straight to the foundary after work. She felt safe there. She needed that right now. The feeling of safety.

****

She sat in her chair at her computer and held her head in her hands. The boys had noticed her jumping but she just said she was tired and they believed her. She almost wished they'd seen through her, but they didn't. 

They'd just gotten off the comms and finished with a mission. She was waiting for Digg, Roy and Laurel to come back but they were still at least 10 minuets away.

That's when she heard the sound of the keypad to open the foundary door being pressed and she froze. Was someone trying to et it? Was it an enemy? Was it some random person? Was it the cops?

All of those guesses were wrong however. The door opened to reveal the one person she never thought she'd see again walking down the steps towards her.


	2. Oliver's return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Oliver returns? What will Felicity do? Will he find out about Ray?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the reviews and Kudos! Hope you enjoy this chapter just as much.
> 
> Sorry no Oliver beating up Ray... yet! But will probably come soon.

Oliver walked down the steps of the foundary slowly. Until he spotted blonde straight hair. Her hair. 

He jogged down the steps even though he was injured. When he reached the bottom of the steps she was standing at her desk eyes wide and mouth hung open in shock. 

He felt relieved when he saw her. But something was not right. She wore a dress still but now it had darker colours, more Dark pink, purple and black. Though that could just be today's dress choice. Also he couldn't see her long legs as she had on black tights. She also had on a dark pink cardigan. But she could just be cold. Her hair wasn't up like usual. It was straightened and hanging free round her face. But she might have just felt like this was a hair down day. 

He didn't have time to think over these things too much though because he was walking over to her with his arms outstretched for a hug. 

He hadn't hugged much since the island, and he knows he's never asked for one, but now he wanted one, needed one even. 

Felicity gulped. She didn't want to be toutched. Not after what Ray did. But she knew the same as he did that he never asked for comfort. But she could see in his eyes and the way his arms were outstretched that he needed it.

She locked up her fear and hesitantly walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. 

He wrapped his arms around her back and held her tight. 

She had to bite her lip to stop from whimpering when he squeezed her bruises but couldn't help but stiffen in his embrace. He noticed this and stepped back.

"What's wrong?" He asked her and she shook her head. She couldn't tell him. It was even more dangerous now because the arrow himself was back so who knows what's ray would do to her. He could do anything now and she wouldn't tell, not in a million years would she let Ray out Oliver's secret identity. 

"Nothing" she whispered and pulled him back in to the embrace as tears slipped down her face. But for the first time in a month they were happy tears. Yes she was in a really bad position right now. And yes she had no clue as to what she was going to do. But he was back and in her arms and that was all that mattered right now. 

When they pulled back again he planned on wiping the tears from her eyes but as he raised his hand to do so she flinched back. Her eyes were wide and the happy thoughts were gone. 

His eyes filled with hurt and his hand returned to his side as he stepped away from her. Of course she would flinch away from him. Why wouldn't she? He was a killer and he'd left for a whole month. 

As soon as Felicity realised her mistake, that Oliver would never hurt her, she trained to fix it. She knew what would be running through his head right now.

"Oliver" she said reaching for his arm which he pulled away. "Oliver please, I didn't mean- it's not you it's-" she sighs in frustration. He meets her eyes and sees what she wants to say, what she can't say.

He sees that se is holding something back. He sees that it's something else that's getting to her. Something else making her act different. He hasn't done anything. He recalls his thoughts from before about her being different than usual and realises something's wrong with her. Something's going on. Of course it could just be the shock of him being back and not dead, but if it's not... he wouldn't let anyone hurt her.

He wraps her in his arms once again and they both sigh in relief at the contact. There's something about her embrace, her touch, that makes him feel complete and normal and human...

There's something about his touch that makes her feel complete and safe like nothing can get to her...

Then the foundary is filled with Digg, Roy and Laurel. 

They stood frozen at the top of the steps until Digg clears his throat. Felicity and Oliver pull away and felicity wipes her tears. "You're alive" Digg says with raised eyebrows. 

Laurel runs up to him and hugs him but he doesn't hug back, not like with Felicity. He just pats her on the back like he would with any friend. 

Roy and him shakes hands and shares smiles and Digg and Oliver do a man hug thing.

"So," Felicity starts finally finding her voice again. "Are you going to explain what happened?" She asks. She doesn't really expect the whole truth because he never shares the whole truth but this time he does.

He tells them about how he fought Rahs and was stabbed. How he fell off a cliff and one of the people he met in Hong Kong helped him. He told them how he managed to get back but it took a long time. 

He told them this and kept in constant eye contact with Felicity and they both refused to look away.

He hadn't yet confronted her about something being wrong... I mean what was the point wen it all might work itself out since he's back now... but he would if it got worse because of someone is hurting the woman he loves they really don't know what they're in for.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team arrow digs deeper in to finding out what's wrong with Felicity. Oliver finds a lead. Felicity continued to be abused by Ray. What will happen?

Oliver let Felicity go that night. She could have just been shocked that he was back and her clothes change could have been because she thought he was dead. He didn't want to read too much in to it, partly because if he did and he got on her case about it and he was wrong, she'd be pissed. But also because he doesn't want to be right. He doesn't want to think of something being wrong with her.

He wants her to be the bubbly IT girl that he knows and loves. Not because he wouldn't love her still if there was something going on, but because that's how he wants her to feel. Bubbly and happy. Babbling all the time and making him smile at her even when he tries to fight it. 

He doesn't want her to have to endure even the slightest bit of pain or struggle. 

Little does he know she's dealing with a whole lot more than a little pain. 

 

****

Felicity was scared. Terrified even. She sat at her kitchen table, a meal laid out infront of her, fidgeting with her hands and waiting for Ray. 

He had text her after she left the lair, with much persuasion from Oliver and promises that he would be there the next day. He had said he expected dinner to be on the table when he got to her house at 9:00 because they needed to talk.

It was now 8:55 so she had five minuets to herself. She used to think that was a good thing, but now time to herself just means time to panic over what's about to come. 

She knew he probably knew about Olivers return. He probably bugged her phone to record everything before he left last night, and he probably still had the bugs in the lair that she didn't take down in case it resulted in another beating, besides, he wasn't learning anything he didn't already know. But even if he didn't Oliver Queen's absence from Starling hadn't gone unnoticed so the fact that he was back was probably all over the gossip websites.

Felicity twiddled her thumbs as she waited and nearly jumped out of her skin when the doorbell rang. She ran to the door in case making him wait would end up badly for her. 

She opened the door and he smiled at her. She hadn't seen him since last night when he r- no. She wouldn't even think of that word. Not if she didn't want to have a panic attack and make herself even more vulnerable. 

Anyway. She hadn't seen him since and now that she did, it was everything she could do not to get sick. She smiled tightly back and invited him in. 

As soon as the door was shut behind him the happy smiley Ray was gone and replaced by the angry, abusive Ray, she could tell by the shift in his eyes... but the smile was still there, he looked almost... exited about something.

Maybe this could be a good thing? Maybe this would mean he wouldn't hurt her tonight? Or at least not as much. 

They sat at the table and started eating. "So," Ray started "today I heard the most rediculous thing" he said and he raised her head to look at him, already knowing where this was going.

"Really? What?" Felicity tried her best to sound interested but she couldn't help the fear in her voice as it shook. 

"Oliver Queen is in town." He looked for her reaction even though he knew she knew already. "I didn't believe it at first, but then I saw proof, a picture taken that day of Oliver Queen walking the streets of Starling." He continued. "Now... how can that be true when he's supposed o be dead?" He asked her with wide eyes and fake innocence. "got something to tell me felicity?" He was getting closer and closer to her, leaning in. 

"I-i-he- we all thought he was dead, he survived. We-we didn't know I s-swear" she said tears gathering in her eyes.

"I know" he said smiling again. "But, that doesn't mean he's not trying to take you away from me, I know he told you he loves you and I'm going to prove that you're mine and no one else's" he said in a sickly calm voice.

She froze. Whatever this was this couldn't be good. It's not like any of this is good but this was going to be worse... she could feel it. 

He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and smirked at her. He was going to permenantly mark her. For life. And she knew there was nothing she could do to stop him. So she ran. 

Or she tried to.

She got to the front door before he grabbed her. He slammed her head against the wall until all went black and she fell limp in his arms.

****

When she woke up hours later she felt numb. She was lying on her bed in her panties and bra. There was a burning sensation slowly making itself known on her hip and she looked down, slowly, scared of what she would find.

When she saw it she gasped and tears came to her eyes. Burnt in to her hip was the words 'property of Ray palmer'. She belonged to him. She was branded. 

She could do nothing but sob. She sobbed and sobbed until she was all cried out.. just like the night before.

She fell to sleep to the sound of her own sobs tearing her apart.

****

Oliver was talking to Digg, and Roy. It was 9pm and they'd made Felicity go home early as she didn't look so good, it was then that Digg and Roy had both said she'd been doing that a lot lately. She'd been going home early, sometimes coming back hours later, makeup redone but still in the same clothes. 

That was when he started to ask questions about her. Like 'did she always wear that much makeup now?' 'Did she always wear tights and a cardigan?' 'Was she always this jumpy?' When the answers came back positive he knew it couldn't just be him being gone that's got her broken like this. 

So he asked more and more questions but never getting anywhere. He was so damn frustrated. He needed her safe. He needed her okay. He needs her here where he can protect her. But he didn't and couldn't. 

She was with Ray, her oh so perfect boyfriend... too perfect if u asked him. 

But that was just his opinion, he was probably jealous, that's what Digg Andrew roy told him anyway. Which he did deny obviously, but still, they could be right.

 

'Wait.... maybe we could ask Ray if he knows what's wrong with her.' He thought. But it was past midnight now so he decided it would have to wait till the next day.

When everyone left to go home he worked out to the point of exhaustion and finally passed out in is bed... his bed Felicity had bought him. 

****

That next morning Felicity showered and hissed when the water washed her burns and had to bite her lip to not scream. 

She put on some cream and a bandage to cover it when she was out and then got dressed.

She wore a little purple dress with black tights and a dark pink cardigan. She did her makeup and sighed. 

She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't ruin her makeup. She wouldn't show weakness. She wouldn't let him win. Wouldn't let him beat her. If Oliver could survive all the torture he's been though, she can survive this.

****

Oliver went straight to Rays office in the morning, he knew he would be there but it was before Felicity would be which is good. He didn't want her knowing he's on to her and then pushing him further away. 

"Ah, mister Queen, I was surprised to see your name on my schedule." Ray said with that big grin of his when Oliver walked in to his office and put down his jacket on the chair. "What do you need?" He asked polightly.

"I just wanted to talk about Felicity." Oliver told him.

"Okay, what about her, the fact that she's my girlfriend, or that you love her and want me to end it with her?" Palmer asked smirking at him.

Oliver was taken aback by this. Ray was meant to be mister nice guy, not like that. 

Something about how he'd said it made Oliver angry. He hadn't said it in a 'she's my grilfriend and I love her so if you hurt her or take her from me you're dead' it was more like a 'don't touch my toys, I don't share' kind of thing and Felicity was not his possession. 

"I just wanted to know if you knew what was going on with her, she's been acting strange recently." Oliver said through gritted teeth as he fought the urge to punch the guy. 

"She's been fine with me. I think you're over reacting. Maybe she's just hiding something from you. Maybe she doesn't like you. Maybe she's just doesn't want you in her life and she's too nice to say anything and that's why she's just weird with you." Palmer replied with that same smirk "I think you should leave" he told him and Oliver just stormed out.

****

He's already gotten in his car before he realised he'd forgotten his jacket. Usually that wouldn't matter but it had his phone in it and money and he really couldn't afford to buy new ones of them whilst he was jobless.

He sighed and got out of his car, failing to notice Felicitys across the other side of the car park and jogged back int I the building.

The receptionist let him through and he was upstairs outside Rays office in no time. 

But what he saw made his stomach churn and his eyes widen in realisation. He felt sick and angry and vengeful. 

Felicity was in his office and Palmer was standing in front of her and towering over her. Anyone else wouldn't read anything in to this but he could see the fear in her eyes, and the pain from where he gripped her wrist a little to hard. And her wince wen he brushed his hand against her hip. 

Palmer was going to pay hard... but not right now.

Going in there and pretending nothing was going on was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. But he needed proof. He needed to talk to Felicity tonight. He needed to be 100% certain he was right. He needed to know all of the details and he needed her to be on board with whatever he did. 

He grabbed his jacket without saying a word and left. 

He knew Ray wouldn't hurt Felicity in front of everyone and he worked later than he so she'd be fine until she got to the foundary tonight. Hopefully. But jut incase he had Roy sneak around her office all day and basically stalk her.

But Roy was happy to do it, to protect her, because he loved her, she was like the sister he never had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments again! Glad you're liking it so far. So no Oliver beating the crap out of Ray yet but it's coming very soon, don't worry. That's the last of the abuse by the way (kind of a spoiler but I don't want people thinking she's just going to get worse... but of a crappy chapter but I hope you like it anyway. :)


	4. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when team arrow confront Felicity about what they now know Ray has been doing to her? Read to find out.

Felicity felt like she'd been being watched all day. She assumed it was Ray watching her because he usually was. He was usually watching to make sure she wasn't speaking to any other man who wasn't him, to make sure she wasn't doing arrow buisness over the phone or on the computers. To make sure she wasn't talking or grieving over or even thinking about Oliver.

And speaking of Oliver, Ray didn't tell Felicity why he was here, in Rays office, this morning. She didn't know why he was there, but she was afraid. What if stay had called him there to tell him to stay away from her or to say that she hated him, or that he knew that he was the arrow and that's felicity had told him.

She knew all this worrying wasn't doing any good to her mental state, she was already panicking enough because of Ray she didn't need to be panicking about why Oliver was here too. She knew he would never hurt her, well at least not intentionally. 

He hurt her when he went to fight Rah's and when she though he was dead, and when he faux told her he loved her, and when he said they couldn't be together, and when after saying they couldn't be together he kissed her, and when he told her he loved her for real and then left. But no he would never hurt her in the way Ray did, or her father. He wouldn't hit her, and he wouldn't leave for no good reason, and if he did leave he'd have a good reason and he'd tell her about it, he'd say goodbye. 

The day dragged on for Felicity, she was afraid that every move she made would result in Ray getting angry, and she didn't think she could take anymore. 

****

Felicitys wasn't the only day that dragged on. Oliver trained with Digg, with Laurel (who still needed training but was adamant about not needing it), with the dummies and just by himself on the salmon ladder. Anything to distract him from this feeling of needed to kill Ray.

He decided it probably wasn't a good idea to kill him in the light of day without his arrow gear on and without proof that he deserved to be killed otherwise the arrows reputation would be ruined and everyone would hate him again.

He didn't really care about his reputation or if he ended up going to jail for it, all he cared about was getting Felicity safe, but going to jail would mean loosing felicity anyway, and that's not what Felicity would want for him, and she'd blame herself. He wouldn't ever wishe that on her because he knew all too well what that was like. 

Anyway, he didn't even know 100% of he was right yet, but he had a pretty good feeling that he was. Not a good feeling as in this was a good thing. But a good feeling as in he had a feeling that he was right...

God felicity was rubbing off on him. He was staring to ramble.

****

When Felicitys day job finally ended she got in her car and headed off to her night job. 

She drove to the foundary, not knowing that Roy was speeding there too, making sure to beat her back so she wouldn't know he'd been spying on her all day.

When she stepped in to the foundary she embraced the safe feeling she got, now made even more safe because Oliver was back. But she sensed something else in the air too, tension? Maybe sadness? Regret? Revenge? Worry? 

Was someone hurt? No. she would have heard from them if they were, right? They would have told her.

She walked slowly down the steps, her hand brushing the railing as she did. "Oliver? Digg?" She called out and once she'd descended the steps she saw them. The whole team, Oliver, Digg, Laurel, and Roy (who looked a little breathless). They all had concerned and vengeful looks on their faces. 

"What is it?" Felicity asked in confusion. "Is something wrong? Someone hurt?" 

"Yes." Laurel said bluntly. She wasn't being rude but she was beyond angry with Ray. She'd never met him but she was a big hater for people who abuse their partners. Especially ones as cute and kind as Felicity.

"Who?" Felicity asked her eyebrows scrunching together as she looked from face to face to see if there was some kind of tell.

"Felicity" Digg began gently slowly stepping towards her. His gigantic hands came to rest gently on her shoulders in a gesture meant to offer support. "Is it true?" He asked his eyes searching hers.

"I-is what true?" She asked feeling like she'd just walked in to an interrogation room, and she felt like she was being treated like the criminal.

Perceptive as ever Oliver came forward too and said "we're not questioning you Felicity we just want to help, but please Felicity you have to tell us the truth." He was practically begging and his voice nearly broke on the last word. Gone was the vengeful Oliver and now here was the man who had lost so much, and was till standing, but couldn't bare to loose another with such brightness, and who means everything to him.

"Tell the truth about what?!" She shouted feeling exasperated. She didn't like this. They were acting like she knew something they didn't and it was irritating her. Since when did she keep things from them?

"The truth about ray and how he's abusing you and he has been since Oliver left!" Roy shouted. He'd had enough of her denying it. Had enough of her defending him. He knew shouting at her was harsh, especially with what she's been going through, but he couldn't help himself. He wasn't going to loose his sister. Not to that monster of a man, and he want going to let her forget herself or who her friends were who she could tell everything to. 

Felicity jumped back at his raised voice. Her eyes went wide with realisation and filled with tears. 'No' she told herself 'I won't cry, won't let him win' she repeated in her head like a mantra. She swallowed thickly.

How did they find out? Did she give it away? "wha-how-I don't-" she cut herself off. She couldn't find words to say so she just put her hand to her mouth and tried not to cry. 'Don't let him win' she repeated again.

"Felicity" Oliver said "don't deny it, I saw you with him today, saw the fear and pain in your eyes and it clicked" he told her and wrapping a hand gently around one of hers. Digg stepped back to let him through but he kept a hand on her lower back for comfort. "Please, just tell us what he's done." Oliver continued. 

She'd never heard Oliver sound so helpless. So afraid. Not since Slade had her in his arms holding a sword to her throat. That broke her down. 

A year slipped down her face. Followed by another, and another. 

Oliver wrapped his strong arms around her small body. Then Laurel joined and made it a group hug which Roy and Digg then both joined. 

They all hugged Felicity and none of them wanted to let her go. Laurel and her were friends, but weren't all that close. Now Laurel was more determined than ever to be a great friend to the blonde IT girl and help her through this. They both didn't have any real girlfriends, apparently her and Sara were friends according to Digg and Roy but she wouldn't have known that, anyway, Felicity would definitely need a girlfriend after this and Laurel would be that for her.

When they pulled back from the hug Felicity saw tears falling down Laurel's cheeks. A few tears dot Roy's and Digg's cheeks and tears in Oliver's eyes that he was trying to not let fall. She didn't realise until that moment how loved she really was.

She knew she'd look a mess right now, after all the makeup she put on this morning and she was now crying... she probably looked like a panda, you know, with two black eyes, but she didn't care. 

"It- um- it started, well um, he began to get very jealous and over protective before you ... left" she said turning to Oliver. 

He grabbed her hand and gently pulled her to her chair, deciding this wasn't a conversation she should have standing up. 

Once she was sat down she continued. "I didn't think much of it, you know, I just told him to snap out of it." She shrugged. "But when you left, when we thought you were dead I came home crying and..." 

Felicity continued to tell them the story of how Ray abused her. She told them everything he did to her and everything he threatened her with. She told them everything he knew about team arrow. She sometimes stopped to take a shaky breath but she hadn't yet burst out in to sobs... but she was sure that would come as soon as she told them what happened two nights ago.

"So, I got home and had abnormal beating, like, um, usual. But after I cleaned myself off I was lying in bed and I heard the door open and he came up to my room, drunk." Tears streamed down her face and she put her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob. Roy's hand rubbed her shoulder in comfort, Oliver was crouched in front of her and holding one of her hands, Laurel held her own hand to her mouth as Felicity told her story and stood at the side of her, and Digg had his hand on her other shoulder. She continued speaking after taking in a deep breath, noting all the support she had.

"He came in and started to undress, and-and the undressed me." She breathed in a shaky breath. "H-he- he raped me" she said and started to sob in to her hand. 

Everyone tensed. Angry and concerned emotions were shown on everyone's face. Oliver pulled her in for another hug. 

All he wanted to do was take away her pain. He would do anything to make her feel whole again. To make her smile. But the only thing he could do in that moment was holdher and try to comfort her.

She slowly pulled away and stood up on shaky feet. Oliver rose too but didn't try and crowd her and be too over protective, he had to remind hefself she'd been controlled for over a month by a monster, she would need some space. 

Her shaky fingers ran accross her hip where the burn was. "Um, there's something else too" she said in a small voice. "But I, uh, should probably show you, but I need to lift my dress or take it off and that might be awkward so I don't know what to do because I'm only wearing tights and I just feel like that's a bit weird. I mean lot ONLY wearing tights of course I'm wearing underwear but I meant, never mind you knew what I meant" she rambled and blushed. Only then did she realise that was the first she'd rambled all month. 

Everyone smiled a sad smile at the same realisation. 

"How about I take you in to the bathroom, we get you changed in to something more comfortable and then we can show all of your bruises? Or just that one of you don't feel comfortable?" Laurel asked her.

"Uh, yeah okay" Felicity nodded. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest by telling the team, so maybe she'd feel better if she showed them all of her bruises too. 

Laurel led her in to the bathroom and left her in there to change out of her clothes whilst she went to get her some new comfortable ones.

Laurel asked Oliver if Felicity could borrow a top and she got her a pair of her shorts and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Come in" Felicity whispered. 

When Laurel came in and saw Felicity in her bra and panties she gasped. Her body was covered in bruises. She'd even taken her makeup off with the wipes she'd put in there ages ago for Sara or her if she needed them, and you could see a bruise on her cheek from where Ray had hit her.

That wasn't even the worst of it. "Here" Laurel handed her the clothes after shutting the door. When Felicity turned to grab them she saw it.

Felicity had taken off the bandage and now Laurel could see the burnt skin that read 'property of Ray Palmer' she didn't know how he did it, but it would eventually scar and it would be on her for the rest of her life. 

Laurel put a hand to her mouth as she tried to contain herself. It was wrong for her to freak out at this, Felicity had had it done to her not Laurel yet he was freaking out. 

"I-I'm sorry I can't" laurel said and opened the bathroom door and shut it behind her. She ran back to where the boys were and put a hand over her mouth again and ran the other through her hair and closed her eyes. She tried to control herself over what she just saw.

The boys were asking her what was wrong but she wouldn't reply. None of them went in to the bathroom, afraid of upsetting her but they were worried. 

When Laurel could speak again she told them Felicity was alright and she'd probably be out in a minuet.

Felicity changed in to Laurels shorts that showed off the bruises on her legs, and olivers big top that she could easily lift to show her burn if she needed, and it also showed off her bruised arms. 

She took a deep breath and slowly emerged in to the room and walked over to the guys and Laurel where she was biting her lip.

Everyone's eyes fell to her. The guys looked over her arms, legs and face and they all gritted their teeth. "Felicity" Oliver started but Felicity held up a hand to stop him.

Ever so slowly she lifted up the top she was wearing until you could see her hip. She turned towards them so they could see what it read and once they did their eyes all darkened with rage. "He's going to pay" Oliver growled. "I will make him suffer" he continued.

"We will end him" Roy promised.

"He doesn't deserve to breath anymore" Digg added.

"You can't. I'm not letting you guys kill for me, Oliver you can't break your vow, and I know you've both killed before too but you're not going to loose part of yourself by killing for me. I won't let you" Felicity told them, voice thick with tears. 

"Felicity he has to pay. If we can't put him in jail for all of our sakes then we have to kill him, and I want to kill him. He deserves to be killed." Oliver growled again.

"No Oliver not again!" She shouted at him.

"Yes again Felicity! There is a small amount of people I will kill for, but you are one of them, he has hurt you, in so many ways and now he had to pay!" He shouted back. She was sort of glad he wasn't tiptoeing round her by saying everything gently and trying not to alarm her, but she was too angry and desperate right now to care.

"He's right Felicity, you're my little sister and I will protect you and anyone who hurts you will pay." Digg said grabbing his gun. 

"I've got to agree with them, sorry felicity, but no one gets to treat anyone like that, especially someone as sweet and kind as you" Laurel said walking towards her black canary outfit.

In that moment Felicity felt helpless. She didn't thinks she could stop them, and if she wa honest there was a part of her that didn't want to. She wanted Ray to suffer for what he did to her, to die even, but she didn't want to have to have her friends have to take that life. She didn't want to be responsible for yet another black mark on their soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I know I said Oliver would be beating up Ray in this chapter but I felt this was long enough already. So that will be the next chapter. Also do you think Ray should be killed or be sent to jail or maybe even Lian yu?? Thanks for the comments again and the support on this story!


	5. Ray Palmer, you have failed this city

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team arrow are planning revenge for what Ray did to Felicity and they plan on killing him. Will Felicity be able to talk them out of it? What will happen with Ray? Will they get him or is he one step ahead? Read to find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after everyone commented on what they wanted to happen to Ray I have come to a decision. The amount votes were all even the other day so I couldn't start a new chapter but then I got another comment and that swayed the vote. But then I was busy until today when I managed to finish this chapter. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for everyone who commented! Please leave more and tell me what you think.

Felicity stood there helpless, tears streaming down her face as she stood in Oliver's oversized top and Laurel's shorts, with her hands wrapped protectively around her stomach. 

Oliver, Ray and Laurel were all walking towards their suits and Digg was walking to his gun. They all wanted Ray to suffer badly and they intended on killing him with no remorse. 

Felicity couldn't have that. How could they risk their reputation? And even part of their self all for her? For revenge on her behalf?

She needed to think. She needed to say something that would stop them, that would make them think rationally. She needed to do it quick because every second that passed team arrow was getting closer and closer to their suits and weapons. 

Oliver was blinded with rage, sorrow, and even guilt, but when was he not feeling guilty for something? In his eyes it was his fault. He beat her because of their relationship, and he wasn't their to stop him. He should have gotten back quicker. He should have killed Rahs and then gotten back here. To her. 

He was now going to take all of this rage and guilt out on the man who started all this, the man who hurt Felicity. his Felicity. And nothing could stop him. Or so he thought.

Felicity was smart. She had to get over her emotional state and think. Think what would make Oliver and Team arrow stop. What would make them think. What would they do anything for? Who would they do anything for?

"You're putting me in danger!" She shouted suddenly and everyone froze. 

"How?" Oliver growled. 

"You go out there and kill Ray for abusing me before it's proven before there is any evidence? After all the other times you've saved me you wouldn't need to be a genius to figure out that I worked with the arrow, or at least that I was important to him." She told him. 

He knew she was right. She always wanted was. But he couldn't just let this go. Couldn't let her get hurt again.

"Oliver, even if you don't kill him he can't get me now." She said, voice soft all of a sudden. "I'll have you guys protecting me." She told him with a small sad smile.

Oliver really wanted to give Palmer a piece of his mind, and slowly rip his head off, but he would be putting her in more danger if he did. All his enemy's would know, hell, the police would know. Someone might try and torture who the arrow was out of her, and he knows she'd never say. He couldn't do that to her. 

With a ragged resigned sigh he looked in to her eyes and stepped slightly away from his Arrow suit . "Then what do we do?" He asked her. 

Everyone followed suit and stepped away from what they were doing and took a step closer to Felicity.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders when he asked that. She knew he'd listen, knew she'd won the argument, and if she'd wine him over, she'd won over everyone else too. 

"We need a plan" she told them all and they nodded.

If she'd have been in her right mind she would have remembered the cameras and bugs Ray had installed down here. Would have thought about how he could hear everything they're saying if he wanted to. But she wasn't, and no one else was either. Or else they would have remembered that bit in her story, but no one did.

They discussed their options. They could hand him to the luege of assassins and have them deal with him but they weren't on the best of terms lately and they don't think they'd want to grant team arrow a favour. Also they could train him and he could come back stronger than ever. So that was a no.

They said how they could hand him over to the Bravata but they're not the most trustworthy group.

They discussed how they could put him on Lian Yu with Slade but putting one of the most dangerous men ever and hardest men to defeat, with a man who was an angry abusive genius was probably not a good idea.

They then discussed prison. It would take a while, she'd need a lawyer and he'd probably have a great one. She'd need to tell people. She'd need to show evidence, the bruises on her body. And they risked Ray telling the police that Oliver's the arrow and that Digg, Laurel, Roy and Felicity all worked with him. 

They said how good looking men who assaulted women aren't very well looked after in prison and usually some of the prison mates use that as an advantage to sexually assault them.

Felicity felt sick when she thought about Ray getting asulted like she was by him and it brought a smile to her face. She was not going to be one of those phsyco people who like others oainnbecause they've caused them it before. No way.

They spent the next hour planning what they would be doing. It was decided that they couldn't do this until tomorrow so Felicity would stay with one of them. 

When tomorrow came Digg would drive Felicity and Roy to work and he'd hang around with her all day, not like the day before when he basically stalked her. He would make sure no harm would come to her. 

At lunchtime when most people went to lunch and the hallway in front of Ray's office stayed mostly clear, Digg would come back. He would be at the entrance hiding with his gun and video camera. Waiting for them.

Oliver would be in the ceiling waiting to come down and corner him in his office. 

Laurel would stay out of sight until they had him cornered, and then she would go in.

First though, Felicity would go in to Ray's office and distract him whilst they got in to position. This bit they were all trying to persuade her not to do because she could get hurt, but she managed to convince them it was necessary. Plus Digg would be just outside the room keeping an eye on her.

Felicity would talk to him. She would tell him how everything he did was wrong how it broke her and how she was still broken but she would come back stronger and wouldn't let him bring her down any more. 

The rest of team arrow had agreed to let her talk to him but she had agreed that if he walked closer to her they would come in to the room immediately.

When she was done speaking they would all come in to the room, Roy would have used the time where she was talking to get changed and in to place in the ceiling, like Oliver, but on the other side of the room so he was trapped. 

Then Laurel would get Felicity and put her behind everyone and make sure she's okay before joining the fight.

Before fighting however, Oliver would tell Ray how he failed the city blah blah blah and then shoot an arrow at him that ties him up. Then they'd beat him up careful not to kill him. 

Then when that was done he'd lay his unconscious body outside the police station for Lance along with all the evidence on him that Felicity would have anonymously dropped off their earlier today. 

It was a fairly simple plan and not much could go wrong right? And other than the fact that the building was made of glass and it would be the middle of the day and still bright outside whilst team arrow was beating him up, they didn't have many problems.

Now all they needed to figure out was who's house was Felicity staying at?

"You can stay with me and Lyla, I'm sure she'd be happy to have you, I haven't told her what's going on with you though so that might be hard to explain." Digg said almost going off on a ramble like Felicity usually does.

"Or you could stay with me" Roy piped up and then a crease appeared between his eyebrows. "Apart from there's only one bed and the couch is broken..." he trailed off.

"You can stay with me, I have a guest room you could stay in." Laurel told her.

"You'll stay with me, I can protect you the best and you'll feel safer down here, right?" He asked her. 

"Um" she said. Diggles offer would be nice, she'd get to stay in the guest bedroom, but she was afraid of waking up in the night screaming and waking up baby Sara.

Roy's offer was kind but there was no way she'd share a bed with him, he didn't seem like the 'I keep to my side of the bed' kind of guy, and she wasn't going to let him or herself sleep on the broken couch, or the floor.

Laurels offer was nice also, she'd get a bed. But they didn't know each other that well and if she were to wake up screaming she didn't know if she'd feel comfortable around Laurel or if she'd want to run. She couldn't risk running because she could get hurt and ruin everything.

Oliver's offer was complicated though. Wouldn't it be awkward? And where would she sleep? He only had one bed down here. How would he react if she woke up screaming? Would he get frightened and try and hurt her? She wasn't afraid of him, she wasn't afraid of what he could do if she scared him, but he might be. All of these were reasons not to stay. 

But she felt safe with him. And that was the only thing that mattered to her right now. That's why she said "okay, sure" and swallowed hard.

After everyone other than Oliver left she sat back down in her chair with her legs tucked underneath her. She looked at him curiously. "How come you're staying down here still?" She asked.

His eyes met hers and he shrugged. "Thea's loft if nice but not very homely. I like it better down here. Especially because when I can't sleep or I feel restless I can just train until I get too exhausted and fall asleep." He told her. She realised that he'd basically just told her he had trouble sleeping and had to work himself to the point of exhaustion just to get a few hours sleep and they were still full of nightmares. There was a silence between them for a few seconds until she broke it.

"Where am I going to sleep?" She asked him, her worries from earlier coming back.

Oliver looked confused "the bed?" He asked.

"But if I sleep there where would you sleep? Not hat I'd mind if you chose to sleep with me" she winced "in the same bed as me." She corrected "it's totally your choice, it's your bed, and I really don't mind where I sleep. I could sleep on that sofa I made us get and I'd be fine, hell I could even sleep in my chair because that's actually surprisingly comfy. Probably not as comfy as a bed but again I don't mind and-3, 2, 1" she said and closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

When she opened her eyes she saw Oliver had a small smile on his face. He was happy she was rambling again, it showed that she was coming back to them. According to Digg, Roy and Laurel she hasn't done that as much lately. But also he'd always loved it when she rambled. It was adorable.

"Sorry" she said.

He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders "you have nothing to be sorry for" he told her with force. She knew he wasn't just talking about her rambling. Just like she also knew that the words he didn't say were 'but I do'. 

Her hand went up and brushed his face. "Neither do you. You were saving your sister. You were doing the right thing. You were hurt. It's a miracle you survived at all. You did not cause this, this is Rays fault. He has problems if me just being friends with you was enough to set him off." She told him looking in to her eyes. 

Her voice told him there was no room for arguments. He was amazed by her. Even when she was going through something terrible she still made it her top priority to make sure he was okay and comfort him.

He wrapped her up in his arms for the third time in two days. He buried his head in the crook of her neck and breathed in her scent just as she did to him.

She smelled of... home. 

He smelled of... safety.

They slowly pulled apart and smiled weakly at each other. 

"You take the bed, I'll take the couch" he told her stroking the top of her soft bare arm lightly.

"I can't, I mean, it's your... well not house but it's your living space.. your bed, and I can't sleep there and have you take the couch" she said. 

"You bought me the bed" he told her. 

"And you haven't bought me highly skilled computers?" She asked him even though that wasn't the point.

"Felicity" he groaned at her persistence. She could be as stubborn as he was. 

"Look, Oliver if you really won't let me sleep on the couch or in my chair and I have to sleep in your bed, then you are too." She stated. At his confused look she continued. "I'm not letting you give up your one hour of comfortable sleep just so I can get some" she said and winced "sleep! Get some sleep I mean. Not get some. That would just be weird. Why would I be getting some in your bed any way unless it's with you." She winced "and let's face it I'm not going to be getting some anytime soon after what he did I mean there is no way I'm feeling comfortable with that soon. Nope. No way what so ever. Zero ways" she said and squeezed her eyes shut again. She really has to stop this.

"Okay" he told her. He wanted to put up an argument, and he had very good points. 

Point one was she probably hadn't had much sleep in the past month and she didn't need him there waking her up with his nightmares or restlessness to keep her up. He didn't think that she might be having the restless nights and nightmares too.

Point two was that she might not be able to handle that level of... intimacy, even if it's as innocent as sleeping in the same bed as another person, after what happened to her, and he doesn't want her to freak out because of him. 

Point three was that he didn't know if he'd be able to handle being that close to her without wanting to touch her, kiss her, tell her those three little words that had been said twice before and he still didn't know if she'd realised yet he'd meant them. Didn't know if he could handle all the emotions bubbling up inside of him at the thought of sharing a bed with her.

But all of them points meant nothing, had no sway with him when he saw how desperately she needed someone to be there for her. Someone to feel safe with. Someone to trust to not hurt her and with the things she shares. Someone to keep her warm. But also someone who won't treat her any differently. 

He didn't know if he was the right person for the job, but he was glad she'd picked him to feel safe with, to trust and he'd always be there for her.

"Okay?" She asked shocked. 

"Yes, now come on, we've got a big day tomorrow so you're going to need your rest," he said and ten as an after thought added "and so will I" 

That was all she needed to know that he was coming with her, not to sneak out in the middle of the night to train or patrol or sleep on the couch instead, but to be with her through the whole night. Keeping her safe. 

She hesitantly nodded and he led her through the door to his bedroom in the corner of the foundry with his hand on her lower back. 

Once she was in his room she was glad it was tidy, and that the bed was as big as she'd remembered. She was just glad she didn't buy him the single bed just because he wasn't going to sleep with anyone in the lair, not since Sara died and him and Laurel were never getting back together. 

"Um, what side do you sleep on?" He asked her awkwardly.

"I, uh, don't mind, really" she assured him. 

It was funny how awkward this was considering she'd already seen him shirtless, already been on a date and already heard him tell her he loves her, even if he didn't mean it. 

"Okay" he replied. It was also funny how nervous Oliver seemed. I mean he'd had a million women in his bed why was this any different? Because it was Felicity obviously. Because he'd never felt this way with anyone. Even with Laurel, if he'd have felt this way about her he would never have cheated on her. It was a girl he couldn't mess things up with, a girl he actually cared about. 

He then sat on the side of the bed that he usually sleeps on, the side closest to the door so if anyone comes in he can protect her and get to the enemy quicker. 

Felicity followed suit and sat under the covers on the other side of the bed, tucking her feet under her as she did so. She watched him, curious as to what he was going to do next. 

His posture was stiff and he looked as if he was contemplating doing something. Then he just lied down next to her over the covers and in his black jeans and t-shirt. 

"You can't possibly be comfortable like that" Felicity observed looking down at him from her sitting form. 

"Like what?" He asked with fake cluelessness.

"You know what, in your top and jeans and over the covers. What do you usually sleep in because I'm pretty sure it's not that. You wear less clothes just walking around the lair. Also you're a terrible liar" She tells him.

"What I usually where?" He asked "boxers" he told her. He doesn't argue on the terrible liar bit. He knows that's true.

"So? It's not like any things going to happen. You're not going to do anything to me. I know you won't. I trust you." She told him, leaning forward to put a hand over his, wincing when it pulls on one of her bruised ribs. 

"What was that?" He asked sitting up immediately. She shook her head. "Let me see, Felicity, please" he more like told her whilst looking in her eyes. She wasn't offended that he'd barked orders at her, she was glad he wasn't treading on glass around her, al least not all the time.

She nodded and let him slowly lift her top up to her bra. She breathed in a sharp breath when she felt his fingers on her skin. 

Worried, he lifted his eyes to hers but she nodded slightly to show she was alright.

His fingers brushed the bruises on her ribs. Then traveled down the ones on her side until they got to her hip which she would re-bandage tomorrow. He hesitated only slightly before running his fingers along that too. His touches stayed light as a feather, careful not to cause her any more pain. 

The way he stared at the burn with a rage in his eyes she'd never seen before should scare her, but it didn't, it made her stomach do a tiny flip inside, which she thought to be highly inappropriate considering the circumstances. 

As soon as she felt it she also felt the nerves of being with someone in 'that' way and pulled her top down.

He pulled his hand away and stood up. At first Felicity thought he was going to leave, but instead, he removed his top and then his trousers. Without another word he climbed in to bed next to her, under the covers.

They stayed far enough to apart so they weren't touching but were still facing each other. 

Oliver's hand reached out and cupped Felicity's face. His thumb brushed her cheek bone gently, soothingly, until she fell to sleep and he let go, and let himself fall in to a light sleep as well.

****

She opened her eyes and she was lying in her bed being pinned down by Ray. He was slapping her round the face and shouting profanities at her. "You are an ungrateful bitch who needs to get it through her thick brain that she has no purpose! Other than so be my girlfriend!" He screamed at her.

She was terrified. Had it all been a dream? Telling team arrow? Them helping? What about Oliver being alive? 

His hands then went to her throat and started to choke her. "But I could get another girl if you're not going to be a good one. You are so ungrateful. Anyone would be better than you. I bet the next girl will be loyal to me. I bet I won't have to give her any lessons like I had to with you. You were so lucky to have me. Now you're going to die." He told her.

She struggled against him but soon oxygen became a necessity. Her lungs started to give up and her eyes went blurry. 

****

Oliver was awoken by screams. He sat up straight at the first one and looked at the woman next to him trying to find the danger. It took a few seconds to realise that she was having a nightmare.

He tentatively reached out and brushed a hand across her cheek. "Felicity, please wake up, you're safe, it's just me, it's Oliver, I'm here, you're having a nightmare, I need you to wake up, please Felicity." Oliver begged. 

When she still didn't wake up and the screams continued he resorted to lightly shaking her whilst shouting her name. 

Suddenly she bolted upright and thanks so his quick reflexes he managed to get out of her way so she didn't head but him on the way up. 

"Hey" he said quietly slowly reaching for her hand. She turned to face him when their hands touched but didn't flinch away. "It's okay" he told her "you're safe now" he ran his thumb over her hand making her shiver.

Gently he laid down and pulled her arm so she fell in to him. She caught herself with her hand on his chest and gasped. "Sorry, that was meant to be more... gentle, you weren't meant to fall" he said sheepishly, that got a small smile out of her.

"It's okay" she whispered.

He moved them so she was curled in to his chest and his arms were wrapped around her, drawing random patterns on her back, soothing her.

He could feel the wetness on his chest from her tears, and her shaky breaths as she cried. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly. 

"Um" she started and he felt her breath in a deep breath. "He was yelling at me, saying-" her breath caught "saying how ungrateful I was and that I deserved what he was doing to me, I caused him to do it, i-" she took another deep breath and shook her head. "He started to strangle me and-and I was dying and... then I woke up." 

He held her a little tighter. "Do you know how much I want to hurt Palmer for what he did to you?" He growled in to her hair. "But I'm not going to do all that, I won't kill him, for you." He told her. "But I will never let him or anyone hurt you ever again." He said a tear rolling down his face. 

He didn't cry much since the island, the only times he'd cried were when no one was watching. He cried for Sara when no one was around, he cried for Tommy when no one was there, he'd cried for his mum when he was all alone, and he was crying now and he was glad she couldn't see him. It was only one tear, he didn't let another one fall, he felt weak when he cried. But she made him weak, but she also made him stronger.

She slowly wrapped one of her arms around his bare stomach and held him tight. "Don't" she started and took a shaky breath "don't leave" she told him and he shook his head.

"Never" he told her.

They soon drifted off to sleep.

****

Felicity woke up with a start. She had still had nightmares last night but they hadn't been as bad as they had been before she'd been cuddled up with him.

Oliver sat up with her and rubbed a hand on her back. He had been awake just lying there looking at her for at least half an hour before hand. 

"I'm okay" she told him and nodded. He wasn't sure if he was telling him or trying to convince herself, but he let it go. 

"You gonna be okay today?" He asked her. 

"Yeah, everything's going to go just fine." She told him but then froze up. "I don't have any clothes here." She said.

"That is why i called Laurel to sneak in to your apartment, incase Ray was there, and get you some clothes which she should be here with at around 8:00am so you've got about two hours, and you can use the shower here." He told her 

"8? No I have to be in work earlier than that I have to-" he cut her off.

"He's not going to fire you for being late, or hurt you when there's other people around and Roy will be there all day anyway, so you're going in late and that's finale. But first... you know what we have to do right?" He asks her.

"Can't I just do that with Laurel? It'll be less awkward that way." She told him.

He gave her a small sad smile. "Of course, now lets get some breakfast in you, Digg should be round in about half an hour with it." he said.

She smiled back and nodded.

****

When Laurel arrived with Felicity's clothes everyone had eaten. 

Felicity had thought it would be awkward in the morning with Digg and Roy but they treated her like normal, apart from with a little more affection.

"So, I got you a little blue dress and flats, black tights and cardigan and some makeup." Laurel announced putting the bag of Felicity's things on her desk. "But first, we've got to take those photos okay?" 

Felicity nodded slowly but didn't say a word. Laurel grabbed felicity's bag and her phone and they both made their way to the bathroom. 

Laurel locked the door and Felicity slowly started to undress.

She took off the clothes she'd been wearing until she was left in her bra and panties. Felicity looked down and Laurel took pity on her.

"Hey" Laurel said. "I know we're not all that close but you can talk to me, I will try and help in any way I can." She told her and Felicity nodded.

"Thanks, but I'm fine, I don't need to talk, don't worry." Felicity lied and gave a fake smile. 

Laurel sighed but got her phone ready.

They took pictures of Felicity's wounds for proof, the court would need proof and if anyone asked if they were photoshopped hopefully if they showed one of her wounds then they'd believe that she hadn't lied about the rest, plus she'd be under oath not to lie anyway.

After, Laurel left Felicity to shower and get changed and went out to see the boys again.

"we all set for later?" She asked as she came out.

"Yeah, she okay?" Asked Digg nodding towards the door.

"She's... I think she's pretending she's okay, trying to not break down. I mean last night she cried but if I were her, I'd do a lot more than cry. I'd fall apart. I think she's holding back from doing that. I think she's afraid of what everyone would think of her. But we don't have time to talk to her about it now, I think she'll be better once he's locked up. She might feel less vulnerable" Laurel explained to them. They all looked concerned and angry for her.

None of them could wait to beat up Ray. They were aching to get their hands on him.

****

When Felicity got out of the bathroom after using the hair dryer Laurel had put in the bathroom cupboard she walked over to the boys. 

Anyone who didn't know Felicity would think she was done. She had on a fake smile, all her bruises covered. But her shoulders were filled with tension. You could see the fear and worry behind her eyes. Her smile wasn't genuine and didn't reach her eyes. She'd lost part of herself that they could only hope she'd get back.

"Come on, we need to leave, I'm already extremely late for work no need to be any later." She told them.

On the way to work they dropped off the evidence they had gathered against Ray last night to the police station anonymously and then continued onwards.

****

The morning went by fine with Felicity thought was weird. Ray said nothing about Roy staying in her office all morning and didn't even try and take her out of the room to talk to her about where she was last night.

Roy spent the morning mostly talking to her and keeping her company and sane. Every time she felt she was going to explode he helped her to calm down.

When lunchtime came and most people had left to go for their lunch Felicity walked to Rays office whilst Roy went to go get changed quickly.

She could feel eyes on her as she walked in and she knew Oliver, Digg and Laurel were all watching her, keeping her safe. 

She pushed open the door and saw Ray sitting at his desk with a smirk in place. "Ray?" She asked and he looked at her. The smirk only grew. She was expecting anger, and this scared her more.

She swallowed her fear however and continued walking towards him, stepping a few feet in front of the desk. 

"Felicity. What a surprise." He said with too much joy.

"I'm done" she told him standing straight. His eyebrows raised and she took a deep breath to continue but he stood up. 

"Done?" He questioned. Still with that same tone.

"Done with you, letting you treat me like that, letting you hurt me." She told him. She swears this is the hardest thing she has ever done. 

"You deserved it" he told her taking another step towards her. 

He wasn't too close yet, but unbeknownst to everyone was the slump in his suit jacket that didn't stand out too much and you may just pass it off as a few too many pens in his pocket. But that wasn't the case.

"I didn't. I know that. And I'm not going to let you treat me or anyone else like that anymore" she told him, both surprised and grateful when her voice stayed strong. 

"Too had you don't have a choice." He told her taking another step towards her.

"Wh-" she was cut off by her own gasp of shock when he reached out and grabbed her, span her in his arms and held the gun from his pocket to her temple. It happened so quick none of the four vigilantes could do anything in time to stop him.

She remembered then about the bugs he'd planted in the lair and cursed herself for being so careless. 

They were so stupid. How could they let him do this. How could they let her do this part of the plan.

Oliver and Roy dropped down from the ceiling as Laurel and Digg came rushing in. All with their weapons of choice raised. Or for Laurel, just standing ready to use her voice pitch modify thing.

"Don't kill him." She told them. 

"Shut up!" Ray growled. "I want you to reveal yourselves to the public and then I will let Felicity go." He told the vigilantes. 

"No" felicity said "he won't! Don't listen to him." She said before getting the gun pressed further in to her head. 

Instead of closing her eyes she locked eyes with Oliver. She was going to get him to shoot at his hand but that might be too much of a risk for her, not that she really cared hit if she got hit he would never forgive himself.

So instead she did the only thing she thought possible in that moment. She acted quickly as she grabbed the gun at the same time as elbowing him in the stomach.

He was shocked by her actions as she'd never fought back before. That gave her the time she needed to run. She ran behind the vigilantes as they all glared at him. 

It should be easy now. Knock him out and give him to the police. He was outnumbered.

"You really think I didn't bring help?" He asked and scoffed.

In came a whole bunch of security guards and Digg was glad he was wearing a balaclava or they may have recognised him.

Team arrow took out all of the body guards without help from Oliver as he stood, bow trained on the billionaire. "Ray Palmer, you have failed this city." He said walking closer and closer to him. 

He then hit Ray in the head with his bow, causing him to drop to the floor.

He then kicked him and punched him until he heard Felicity's voice shouting "stop!" He turned to look at her, breathing heavily and then looked back at an in-conscious Ray underneath him.

He checked his pulse and felt almost regret as he felt it was still there. He removed himself off of him and went towards Felicity. "Are you okay?" He asked. 

She let out a little laugh, the laugh grew louder and more hysterical by the second until the laugh turned in to sobs. 

Oliver bent down to his knees to where Felicity had fallen to hers. He then took her in his arms and rocked her as she sobbed uncontrollably in to him.

There was then the sound of another punch being thrown and Roy shouting "that's for making my sister cry!" 

And then another punch followed by an angry Digg shouting "That's for taking away the light in her eyes, even if it's just temporarily!" 

Then one last kick followed by Laurel yelling "that's my future best friend and you will not treat her like that!" 

They all gave Felicity a big group hug as she sobbed uncontrollably in to Oliver's arms.

Everyone would be back from lunch soon and wonder why his office was trashed, they knew they had to get out soon but for a minuet they would just let her cry.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team arrow are working on getting Ray out behind bars and Felicity is in a fragile emotional state. How is she coping? Read to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a long time since I updated. I was ill and then couldn't think of anything to write but here's the next chapter so enjoy! Also it's kind of a short not very good chapter so sorry.

As Felicity sat there sobbing and being rocked back and fourth by Oliver the team knew they had to get out of there quickly.

"Felicity," Digg began "we need to leave and get Ray to det-captain Lance" he told her, sorry to have to interrupt her grieving.

Her sobbing subsided ad Oliver continued to stroke her back soothingly and whispered little things in her ear to get her to calm down. She took a few deep shaky breaths before pulling away from Oliver. He stood up and offered her a hand up which she gratefully took.

Digg grabbed Rays lifeless body and slung him over his shoulder. They started to leave but Felicity's knees buckled and Oliver caught her. He hated this. She looked so helpless and destroyed. It was killing him to see her this way, but knew she was going through pain a hundred times worse than that.

He made sure his mask was in place before picking her up bridal style. At first she gasped in shock but then she just settled against him, breathing in the leather scent. 

They didn't bother to clean up his office, it wasn't important. 

Outside the building hidden down a few streets was where thier vierchles were parked. 

Oliver could feel Felicity silently sobbing in to his leather suit and wanted to get her home, or back to the lair, as quick as possible but he wasn't going to leave her. They had the van and Oliver's motorbike. 

the only way to do that was if they both went on his motorcycle. The van would be going with the others to drop Ray outide the police station and Oliver would go straight back to the lair. But Felicity might not be able to cope with being in the same place as Ray. So that left only one option...

"Felicity?" He asked softly.

"Hmm?" She replied sniffling back her tears.

"Can you stand?" He asked her.

"Yeah" she told him lfting her head from him. Her voice was thick with tears and she sniffles again. 

He gently set her down on the sidewalk and she wobbled slightly but managed to stay standing. 

"You're going to have to go on the back of my motorbike. Do you think you can do that?" He asked her and she just nodded. "Okay" he said and gently grabbed her arm and pulled her over to the bike. 

He lifted her once more to put her on the bike and got on in front of her. Her arms snaked around his waist and one of his hands held her clasped ones to make sure she was holding on tight enough. 

They said goodbye to the others and said they'd meet back at the lair and Oliver set off.

He drove faster than usual but also safer. Felicity held on to him for dear life and her head was pressed in to his back.

When they got back to the lair he checked her over, she had no more injurys but she had a lost look in her eye that scared him. 

"Felicity" he said he voice breaking a little. That snapped her out of her revive. Right now she didn't care for much, not even if she lived, but she cared about Oliver and when his voice broke like that she couldn't ignore him. 

"Everything will be okay now, its all going to get better. He's going to go to jail and will never set a hand on you again. No one will." He promised her and took her in to his arms. To his surprise she hugged back tightly and whispered the same words from last night.

"Don't leave me" 

And he replied with the same answer "never." 

They were sitting like that when the rest of the team got back.

"So I hear you're gonna need a lawyer?" Laurel asked with a small sad smile whilst pointing to herself.

Felicity and Oliver pulled away from each other but he kept a hand on her back, stroking her, keeping her calm. "Really? You want to be my lawyer?" Felicity asked whilst wiping her eyes.

"Yeah, if you want that is." Laurel told her.

"okay,yeah, thanks." Felicity told her and she nodded.

"So, we called Lance and used Roy's voice modulator to do it and he said he's gotten Rays body and he'll see what he can do, but he will need to speak to you about it and then they'll probably set a court date but the evidence looks good but maybe if you could get the footage of when he holds a gun to your head tonight in his office that would help a lot." Diggle told Felicity and she nodded gratefully.

"Thank you, all of you" she told them. "I'll get to work on that now" Felicity said.

That's exactly what she did. Digg went and got everyone food and Felicity hacked in to Rays servers and got the footage from tonight and deleting any footage that might incriminate team arrow. 

After they ate everyone left apart from felicity and Oliver. "You should stay here tonight too. I don't want you waking up with nightmares still alone and it still might not be fully safe yet." He told her.

She gave in easier than he thought she would. That was because she needed to feel safe again like she did last night in his arms. "Okay" she said.

"You should go to sleep, it's been a long day." Oliver told her. It was now 10pm. Usually they would stay up a lot later than this but it was different now. But she still had one more thing to do.

"First," she began. "I have to get rid of all the bugs and trace them back to where all of the information is being stored about us and then destroy it." Felicity told him and left no room for argument as she said down at her computers once more. 

She did need to do that but it could wait till tomorrow, in truth she just wanted to keep busy. To keep her mind of things. She got why Oliver liked to work to the point of exhaustion now. She wished she could do that too but she'd be helpless so instead she would do this. Make her mind tired instead of her body.

Felicity got to work and within the next two hours all the bugs were down and she'd self destructed Rays computer that stored all of the files on it. She'd also taken the bug from her phone and checked Olivers for them too.

There were a lot of bugs but by 12am she still wasn't tired. She still wanted more to do. But Oliver had other ideas.

"Felicity, its late, you've done everything you needed to do so come on, you need your rest" Oliver said softly whilst crouching down in front of her chair that he'd span to the side.

"But I-" he cut her off.

"No Felicity. You need your rest. I don't care what you say. You haven't gotten hardly any sleep lately and if you want the bruises to heal you're going to have to be well rested. And you can't go to court if you're tired anyway, you need to be in a clear, or as clear as it can get, state of mind." He told her but she still looked ready to argue. "Felicity please, I can't calm down until your eyes tucked safely up in bed and sleeping." He practically begged her, and the fact he was crouched in front of her only added to that.

"Fine" she gave in. She closed down her computers and stood up. 

"Here" Oliver said and handed her some clothes Laurel had picked up from fFelicitys house. "They're your pyjamas." He told her.

"Thanks" she said and walked in to the bathroom to get changed.

Once she was naked, before she stepped in to the shower, she looked at herself in the mirror again. She was black and blue and looked exhausted and weak. She hated it. She hated what he'd done to her. But when she saw her hip again, that she'd just taken the other bandage off of, she felt the vomit in the back of her throat and ran to the toilet and threw up. 

"Felicity? You okay?" Oliver asked. He heard her throwing up but couldn't get in as the door was locked. "Felicity!" He shouted frantically.

"Yeah, fine, I'm gonna get in the shower now, I'll be out in a bit" she told him. He wasn't convinced but would talk to her when they were in bed, if she still wanted him to sleep next to her that is.

She wiped her mouth and flushed the chain before stepping in to the shower.

She felt the warm water on her wounded skin. It burned at first but then it soothed her. It helped her sort her thoughts.

She couldn't live with Ray having so much control over her. She couldn't take throwing up every time she saw herself naked with that mark on her hip. She wouldn't live like that. She would have to cover it, but with what? How? She'd figure that bit out later. All she knew was that as soon as Ray was in jail for real, after court and everything, she would find some way of covering it. 

She got out the shower and got in to her pyjamas which were some little blue shorts and a black short-sleeved t-shirt. 

She brushed her teeth, with the toothbrush Laurel had given her this morning, and her hair but she couldn't be bothered to blow dry it. She didn't care that her hair would be curly and frizzy tomorrow. She suddenly just wanted to be in Oliver's bed that smelled like him, wrapped in his arms, feeling safe.

Once she was done she came out the door to be greeted with an anxious Oliver. 

"Are you alright? Did you throw up? Do you need something? Do you-" he was cut off when she wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him tightly. His arms immediately came around her and held her just as tightly. "Hey, it's alright, I got you" he whispered in to her hair.

"Thank you" she whispered in to his chest. He had changed out of his arrow costume and he was now in jeans and a T-shirt. 

"For what?" He asked her softly.

"For being here for me, for not killing Ray, for helping me, for not looking at me like I'm disgusting and dirty, for not blaming me, for everything you've ever done for me." He held her tighter.

"You don't have to thank me for that, I'd do anything for you, and you're not disgusting or dirty Felicity, you could never be. And I've already told you, you have nothing to be sorry for. And Felicity, you've done so much for me since I walked in to your cubicle in the IT department, and I was horrible to you for the first few weeks of you being in 'team arrow'" he said using her name for their group to make her happy. "I owe you so much Felicity. You are the light of this team, we need you, we'd all do anything for you." He told her.

He could feel his shirt was wet pith her tears but he didn't care. She buried her head further in to his chest breathing in his scent. They eventually pulled away from each other and he wiped the tears from her face. "Come on let's go to bed" Oliver said whilst gently pulling her towards his room, but then he froze and blushed. "That's not what I meant, well I did but like, I meant lets go and sleep now, but only if you want me to sleep in the bed with you. If not I can go on the couch" he rushed to explain. God Felicity was really rubbing off on him. But he didn't care that he was embarrassed because in that moment he heard the most beautiful sound. She laughed.

It was only short and small but he hadn't heard it in ages and it made his heart miss a beat. 

"I just realised how funny it is when people do that, I have been providing all of you with free entertainment this whole time, you really do owe me" she told him with a small smile that he returned. "And I know what you meant, let's go" she told him and they walked to his room together.

They sat on the same sides at the night before and she laid down. He sat on his side of the bed but poked tense again. "Oliver, just take off your clothes" she said and then groaned "you know what I mean" she told him and he huffed out a small sad chuckle. He took off his shirt and jeans leaving him in his boxers. 

Oliver got under the covered but stayed so they weren't touching. Careful of her fragile mental state.

She sighed, frustrated. "What is it?" Oliver asked quickly turning to face her incase something was wrong. 

She shook her head. "You are so worried about hurting me or making me freak out that you won't do anything without being absolutely certain, or without rushing to explain you're self." Felicity said "what you don't understand is that you.... you make me feel safe... so I would never freak out with you. I just kind of with you would hold me because-" she was cut off when Oliver quickly came closer to her and held her to his bare chest. 

She was surprised at first but sunk in to his embrace and wrapped an arm around his waist. 

She got scared easily now, if someone else were to move as quickly as Oliver just did she probably would freak out, but it was Oliver, he made her feel safe and like nothing could get to her, he temporarily makes her feel less broken when he holds her or whenever he's around. 

She knows she has deep feelings for him but she's not going to admit to them now. She doesn't want to ruin what they have if he doesn't feel the same, or she doesn't want to rush in to something when she's only just starting to come out of a really crappy relationship. She wants to get better first, to not be afraid of everything. And then maybe they can be happy and together. 

But for now she could pretend this was all platonic whilst he hugged her and protected her from threats.

They both drifted off to sleep soon after that in each other's embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos, also what do you think about Felicity getting a tattoo to cover up the burn? Yes or no? If not I'll think of something else. Please leave comments of any ideas you have of what I could do.


	7. Police station and panic attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity starts to let go of some of the feelings shes been pushing down but not all of them. Lance calls Felicity down to talk about the case and big belly burger for the whole team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a while and I told someone I'd have it up by Sunday but it took longer than I thought to write. Also I'm having writers block so if anyone has any ideas they would be much appreciated!! Thank you for the kudos and reviews on this story!

When Felicity wakes up she is pressed against something warm. Oliver, she realises when she feels his heartbeat against her cheek. With her face resting on his bare chest he could hear his even breathing so she knew he was asleep. 

She knew she couldn't wake him up, he never really slept and she'd kept him up with her nightmares last night, even if they weren't as bad as the night before. She would let him sleep. He deserves this, after all he'd been so caring and understanding since he came back, even though it was out of character for him. 

Then it came to her with a startling realisation that she hadn't checked if he was okay, she knew he'd been hurt by Rahz but she'd never asked him if he was alright because there was a lot going on, not that that's an excuse.

She should have asked him, and Rahz was still alive now and Felicity had no idea what was going to happen with him. He was a much bigger threat than Ray so why did they waste their time trying to get him locked up, and try still had a lot of time left to put in to make him stay there.

They needed to stop Rahz and protect Thea and make sure nothing happens to Oliver because of him not defeating Rahz.

Oliver must have felt her tense or her breathing start to quicken because he woke up. He didn't waste a second before he was sitting there both up and wiping away the few tears that had slipped down her face. "Hey" he whispered "hey, what's wrong? You're okay" he continued to caress her cheek even when the tears were gone. 

"I'm sorry" she told him and looked away. 

"What? What could you possibly be sorry for? I thought I'd already told you, you have nothing to be sorry for." He told her desperately trying to make her understand.

"I'm sorry for all of my problems, we have bigger problems with Ray like Rahz and what he might do I-" he cuts her off.

"No" he tells her forcefully and her head snaps towards him in shock. The only thing that kept her from running was the fact that it was Oliver sitting here not anyone else, she knew he wouldn't hurt her ever. "No, there is nothing more important than making sure you are safe and that the man who did this to you is locked up. And I don't know how I'm going to defeat Rahz, or even if I can, but right now all I care about is keeping you safe, alright?" He told her whilst holding her hands and staring in to her eyes. 

"Alright" she whispered weakly, looking down. Clearing her throat she asked "What time is it?" And moved slightly away from him, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Oliver tried to ignore the sinking feeling his heart did when she did that and looked at his alarm clock. "Uh, 7:47" he told her.

"I still should go to work, people will suspect things if not" she told him and stood up.

"I think you can take a day off Felicity, it will be fine, please don't go in today, we should probably plan what you're going to do in court so you should discuss that with Laurel" Oliver rushed out and inwardly cursed. He was definitely catching Felicity's babbling and he wasn't sure it would be as adorable with him as it is with her. 

"Okay fine, but I'm still getting up, have I got any clothes?" She asked him, he was surprised at how easily she gave in but pointed to her to the bag of clothes Laurel had brought round. 

She had another shower even though she'd had one last night because no matter how many times she showered she always felt dirty, she could always feel Rays touch on her and she was afraid it would never go away. 

She put her hair up in a messy bun, because there was no point in washing her hair again, and got in to the shower. She felt the warm water on her body and finally went over everything in her head.

Oliver not being dead, Ray abusing her, Ray raping her, Ray branding her, Ray holding a gun to her dad, team arrow beating up Ray, Ray being taken care of by captain Lance, Oliver being so careful and caring, Oliver not knowing how to defeat Rahz, Laurel suddenly wanting to become bff's, how amazing everyone's been, how once this gets out to the press she'd either going to be a charity case to the people who believe her or hated by the people who assumed she's lying.

She'd been through so much lately and her emotions were running wild and free, so she finally just cried. Or more like sobbed. She sank down to the shower floor and sat there sobbing her heart out. 

She'd never felt so broken, out of place, and without control. 

Her breathing became faster and more laboured by the second. She couldn't handle it. 

Soon she heard banging on the door and Oliver shouting for her "Felicity!" He shouted "are you alright?" "Answer me Felicity, please!" 

He sounded desperate but she couldn't bring herself to reply, the banging on the door just made her dizzy.

****

Oliver put on some jeans and decided to have a shower when Felicity was done. He sharpened his arrows until he heard sobs coming from the bathroom and short loud breathing. 

He ran over to the door and started banging on it and yelling for her. There was no answer so he continued to yell for her until he heard the bang of the door and saw Digg step in to the foundry. 

At first his face was neutral but as soon as he heard Oliver yelling for Felicity his featured became worried and he ran over to Oliver.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"I don't know, she won't answer she's crying and I- I don't think she's alright Digg. She's worrying me." 

Digg sighed. "Felicity! If you don't answer us we're going to have to break the door!" He shouted to her through the door. All he got were more sobs and heavy breathing.

Oliver looked to Digg and he gave a small nod. Oliver took that as his que and kicked the door down. He rushed in and grabbed the towel he'd given to her. He ran over to her and turned off the shower and wrapped her in the towel and lifted her from the shower. 

Oliver sat on the toilet seat and placed her on his lap and rocked her like a baby in his arms. He gently released her hair from her bun and brushed it through with his hand, soothing her.

He whispered in her ear little things, calming her. 

Digg watched them two from the doorway and whilst his heart rate returned to normal levels he smiled a small smile at the both of them.

Yes he was upset that Felicity was going through this, but Oliver was being so careful with her and he knew them two, when all of this was over, would be much closer than before and hopefully be admitting their feelings to each other. If they weren't he'd literally lock them in a closet until they worked admitted it to each other and agreed to go on a date.

Felicity brought out the best in Oliver and Oliver knew just how to make Felicity feel better and care for her. He wanted his friends to be happy together and stop giving him a headache whilst they try and ignore their feelings for each other. 

****

Felicity finally calmed down 5 minutes later and her sobs turned in to shaky breaths and a few tears still slipping from her eyes. 

She tried to pull away from Oliver when she realised she was only wearing a towel. He just held her tighter, not in a way that hurt or really restricted her but made sure she didn't run, because then she wouldn't even be wearing a towel.

"Hey it's alright, I've got you, I'm not going to hurt you" he promised, his hand still brushing through her hair. 

She relaxed against him a few seconds later. "What happened?" He asked her.

"I-I kept thinking a-and then I c-couldn't breath and I had to sit down and I started to get d-dizzy and I couldn't stop crying I-I-I-" 

"Hey, its alright, I've got you now." He whispered in her ear. "No ones gonna hurt you ever again." 

She put her head in the crook of his neck and he buries his in her hair. 

He vowed then that he would always protect her and make sure she never felt this way ever again.

After a few minuets Digg cleared his throat and Oliver looked up, Felicity kept her head in his neck, too embarrassed to look up.

"I'm going to wait out there" Digg told Oliver but before he walked away he gave him a stare that said 'you get her ready and look after her, don't you dare leave her, she needs you' 

Oliver nodded in response.

"Hey" he said softly "let's get you cleaned up shall we?" He asked her and slowly she pulled her head from the crook of his neck and looked in to his eyes. 

She looked embarrassed, afraid, nervous, but she also looked grateful and ... there was another look in her eyes that he didn't know how to identify. 

She gave a tiny nod and he lifted her again but this time to her feet. She held the towel around her so hard her knuckles turned white. She didn't want to even acknowledge the fact that Oliver saw her naked, she couldn't, she was not only scared because of it but embarrassed. Ray made her believe her body was a mess and she was undesirable and she didn't want Oliver to see that.

Oliver turned around whilst she got changed in to her clothes, because he was afraid of what may happen if he left her alone, which consisted of a grey flowy long sleeved top with black leggings and some grey fluffy socks.

***

When they exited the bathroom they saw Laurel and Roy had arrived too. 

"I went to Starbucks and I got you a choice of either coffee with milk no sugars but you can add them if you want, or a tea because it might calm you" Laurel said holding both out for her.

"Uh, I don't mind" Felicity told her and Laurel handed her the coffee. 

"You'll probably need some energy today if we're discussing plans for court also my dad might call and need you down in the station" She told her and Felicity nodded gratefully.

"Thanks" she said and offered a small smile. "Oh my god! I just realised I didn't thank any of you for what you did last night! Thank you all by the way." Felicity said quickly.

"It's okay Felicity, we didn't need you to thank us" said Digg

"Yeah, I mean you would have done the same for us, well , sorta" Roy added.

Felicity just nodded. 

A buzzing sound came from over near her computers and they all went to check it out. It was Felicity's phone. She sighed and picked it up.

"Detective Lance, hi" she said in to her phone causing many curious glances to turn on her.

"Hello Sweethart, I uh got the, uh, evidence on that Palmer guy, I'm guessing you had something to do with getting it here?" His unsure voice asked. 

She could tell he was nervous, probably because he didn't know how to react.

"Yeah" she admitted.

"Listen, we've got to bring you in for questioning and anyone who has witnessed anything unusual or threatening from Palmer to you might be helpful too." He told her.

"Yeah, okay, when do you want me in?" She asked him.

"As soon as you can today if that works for you?" He asked her even though she knew even if she was busy she'd have to come in so it didn't really matter if it 'worked' for her or not but she answered anyway.

"Yeah I'll be there soon" she told him.

"Okay, see you in a bit, uh, bye" he told her

"Bye" she replied and hung up to phone.

She turned to her four best friends and smiled a week smile. "Lance wants me at the station as soon as I can be there, he also said to bring along anyone who saw anything and I'm not sure if anyone did or not but if you did than you should come, I mean, if u want to, and maybe Laurel could come because she saw all of my bruises and scars, but I guess Oliver did too, and-" Oliver cut Felicity off mid-ramble

"Felicity" he said "are you sure you should do this today? I mean, you had a panic attack this morning and I can tell you're nervous now. This might not be the best thing" he told her with a concerned look in his eyes.

He was just trying to help her, make sure she was okay. He couldn't loose her. If he lost her he wouldn't survive. He needed to protect her and he was worried that if she did anything too much for her to handle she might go in to a downward spiral and never come out. 

Felicity did care how he meant it, however. She just felt like he was controlling her. She span to face him. "What the 'best thing' for me is, is getting Ray in jail, and I will never stop being nervous or having panic attacks until he is in there. The sooner he's locked up, the sooner I can get over this. I am going wether you are going or not." She told him with a determined glint in her eye.

Oliver nodded. "Okay" he told her "but I am coming with you" 

"Me too" added Laurel.

"Okay but you two stay here, it will look weird if we all walk in together, it will draw more attention." Felicity told Digg and Roy who nodded in agreement.

Oliver had a shower and got ready, Felicity slipped some black ankle boots on and they left.

They road in Laurels car, Felicity sat in the front with Laurel and Oliver sat in the back.

Felicity knew if she'd sat in the back Laurel and Oliver would whisper to each other about her, thinking she couldn't hear and she couldn't have that.

when they arrived they got out of the car. Felicity's legs shook so she tensed her muscles trying to tame them so no one could see how nervous she really was, but she knew it wasn't working. She crossed her arms over her chest and walked ahead in to the station with Laurel and Oliver hot on her heels.

As she stepped in to the building she froze in her place, almost ending Oliver crashing in to her back, he managed to stop just in time and signaled for Laurel to stop too. 

Oliver's hand came to rest on Felicity's lower back for support and she breathed in a deep shaky breath. She didn't turn to look at him though, she didn't want him to see the fear in her eyes and think she was weak. She was in a police station for gods sake. She was safe here, yet she felt terrified.

Oliver knew if he was back in Queen Consolidated and he'd put his hand on her back like this gossip would spread like wild fire. He didn't know if cops gossiped like that, he hoped they were more mature, but he didn't care at this point what people thought of them.

They walked up to a desk and asked the officer for captain Lance and they were led to his office.

They found him sitting at his desk looking through the file of evidence they had put together. 

Felicity knocked lightly on the door and Lance looked up and gave a small and sad smile which she returned.

Lance turned to Oliver and gave him a nod of acknowledgment and then gave his daughter a slightly bigger smile. 

"Miss Smoak, would you follow me please." He told her and walked to an interrogation room after picking up the evidence.

They all followed him to the room and all entered. Lance looked at Laurel and Oliver when they came in. "Maybe you two should wait outside whilst I ask her some questions" he told them.

Oliver didn't want to leave Felicity, it's not that he didn't trust Lance with her, he just wanted Felicity to know he was there and he wanted to be there for her, as in right next to her and holding her hand. 

Laurel didn't mind having to wait so she started to walk out the door but stopped when Oliver didn't move. 

Oliver's eyes met Felicity's and he saw the fear and panic behind them. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted him with her. She didn't think she could do this without him which was stupid. She'd always said she would never rely on a man. But here she was, about to have a break down just because Oliver had to wait outside.

"Can't I stay?" Oliver asked Lance without taking his eyes off of Felicity's. 

Lances brow creased and he followed the mans gaze and found it connected with Felicity's unwavering gaze of her own. 

Both said different things Felicity's said 'please don't leave me' and Oliver's sort of replied back with a 'never'. 

Lance and Oliver had had their differences but he knew Oliver would take care of Felicity, and she needed him to do that right now.

"You can stay as long as that's alright with Felicity" Lance told him looking towards Felicity this time.

She shook her head rapidly "yeah, yes, please" she replied but lance didn't think she was really talking to him.

"If you need me give me a shout!" Laurel called before leaving the room and sitting on one of the plastic chairs outside of the room.

****

"Okay, I'm going to have to record this and any thing you say will be used as evidence." Lance warned her. "But before we start I just want to say that I'm... I'm sorry this happened to you, that son of a bitch will pay" he promised her.

"Did you see him? I think he's payed enough." She said without thinking, referring to the beating the arrow gave him last night.

"He'll never have payed enough" Oliver whispered darkly from where he was sat next to Felicity. His hand squeezed the arm of the chair trying to contain his anger at Ray. 

Felicity's hand instinctively goes to Oliver's arm and he relaxes. Lance shakes his head at the pair.

"Okay, miss Smoak, are you ready to start?" Lance asked Felicity. She gave a nod and he started recording. 

"Ray Palmer abused you is that correct?" Lance asked.

Felicity nodded her head, then she realised how stupid that was because they were recording her voice, you couldn't see her nodding her head so they couldn't possibly use it as evidence. "Yes" she told Lance.

"In what ways did he abuse you?" He asked. Lance wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer but it was his job and he wouldn't have any other officers doing this. That's why he told them he had this case. 

"He verbally, physically and, um, sexually abused me" she said and looked down. She was embarrassed. She shouldn't be embarrassed, this wasn't her fault. But she was.

"Okay, when did the abuse start?" 

"Well he'd started being controlling the week before but the actual abuse started, um, a few days after Oliver left" she didn't know the specific date. She felt like she should. But she was just so afraid and confused and hurt that she didn't even check what day it was.

"What did he say his reason was for hurting you?" 

"I was upset, I didn't know if Oliver was coming back and our goodbye was.... well...." she cleared her throat. She thought back to their goodbye where he told her he loved her and then walked away, there was no way she'd be telling Lance, or anyone else, that. "Anyway," she continued "he told me he knew why I was upset and that I shouldn't be upset over Oliver because Oliver wasn't my boyfriend he was. H-he, he told me I deserved what was happening to m-me because I-i wasn't treating him right b-because I was friends with Oliver." She started to stutter again and Oliver moved his arm to her knee and drew patterns on it, calming her at the same time as distracting her.

"So he was jealous of yours and Oliver's friendship?" 

"Yes" she confirmed.

"Did he suspect yourself or Oliver had feelings for one an other?" Lance asked.

Felicity's head shot up to Lances. "Uh, is, is that relevant?" She asked him but the look he gave her told her her answer. Oliver's hand on her knee froze and tended for a second before taking a breath and resuming. "Yeah I guess he suspected it." 

"Is there any reason why he may have suspected it?" Lance didn't want to ask her questions she didn't want to answer but he needed to know everything.

"Uh, I guess because we still spend time together even now we don't work together" she tells Lance whilst fidgeting with the hem of her top.

"Okay, so," Lance says glancing at the two of them before opening the evidence file. He gets out one of the photos of Felicity's bruises but keeps it faced towards him so they can't see. "I have a picture here of on of the things Ray did to you"

He put the picture flat on the table and slid it towards them.

Felicity lifted her eyes from her lap and looked at the picture. She tensed at the image of the burn on her hip. Sure she'd seen it, in picture form and on her own body, but every time she saw it, it made her sick. She felt the bile coming towards the back of her throats and her hand flew to Oliver's on her knee. She squeezed his hand and took deep breaths until she felt like she wasn't going to throw up all over Lance and the evidence.

Oliver cringed at the image. He had seen it when Felicity showed the team and when he had traced over her scars and bruises the other night, but he still wasn't used to seeing it. His name. Those words. printed on her creamy beautiful skin. It made his skin crawl.

When she gabbed on to his hand and squeezed he stopped the soothing patterns on her knee, instead he squeezed her knee gently back as if to reassure her that he was there and everything would be okay. But would it? Would she ever get over this? It had to. She had to. He would help her.

"Can you tell me how he did this?" Lance asked gently. He partly regretted his decision to handle her case but he was also glad she didn't have to tell this to a complete stranger. But maybe that would have been easier for her?

Felicity nodded her head and swallowed thickly. Oliver looked at her face checking to make sure she was okay. Well of course she wasn't okay, but checking she wasn't getting any worse.

"I, um, it was the night after h-he, uh, raped me" she looked down to hers and Oliver's joined hands. "I was so scared. He'd texted me to get dinner ready and I did..." 

She continued to tell him the story of how she got that burn, and all the other bruises he had pictures of. She'd also answered the other questions Lance had asked. By the time he'd gotten to the last question they'd been there over an hour. 

"Okay, so finally, why didn't you come to the police first?" Lance asked his final question.

"At first I didn't think anyone would listen, he was loved, a billionaire, had good lawyers. I didn't think it would work out for me and then who knows what would happen. Then later on I didn't think there was any point, I didn't think I was important enough to be saved, I didn't think I was needed so what was the point in getting out? My friends had other friends, Oliver was gone, not that he'd need me anyway, I didn't have family who missed me, I didn't feel like their was any reason for me to tell anyone." Felicity admitted. She hadn't told the team this bit in the lair and Oliver's hand tightened on her knee slightly because of this.

"I think that's everything I have to ask you today miss Smoak," Lance told her and turned to Oliver "but if it's okay I'd like to ask you a few questions before you leave"

Oliver nodded. "Did you see any violent acts from Raymon Palmer to Felicity?"

Oliver answered the few questions Lance had for him and they both signed a paper before leaving the room. Laurel went in after them and came out about 15 minuets later. 

They headed back to the lair when they were done and picked up a big belly burger for everyone on the way.

****

The rest of the day was spent with the team relaxing as much as they could. Crime was on the down low at the minuet, luckily, so they could spend their time with Felicity, making sure she was okay. 

Oliver and Roy did patrol for a few hours but there wasn't much to do so they came back. 

No one asked about what happened at the police station and Felicity didn't tell. They were probably afraid of upsetting her.

****

Later that night Oliver asked Felicity to stay again. She argued that there was no point. Ray was locked up, for the time being at least, so her home was safe enough to stay at. But in all honestly she'd rather stay with him anyway. Her house may be safe but it didn't feel it.

Oliver had made a few weak points about Ray maybe escaping, or people getting wind of the news and going to Felicity's house for intel and some others. But they were enough to make Felicity give in.

That's why she now lay facing Oliver, lying in his bed. "I do need you" he said suddenly. Interrupting the silence between them. 

"What?" She asked confused.

"Today at the precinct you said I didn't need you and neither did the team. But I do and so does the team. Digg may be able to do some things on the computers but no body's better than you." She went to interrupt him but he put a hand up halting her. 

"Also, not only are you the IT expert of the team you are also the light. You're always going to be the light no matter what happens to you because even when you are going through something so terrifying and terrible, you still care about all of us, you still look out for us, you still try and make us smile. We wouldn't be a team, we probably wouldn't be alive, if it weren't for you." He finished.

She was speechless. She didn't know what to say, how to respond, to that. "Thank you" she told him as it was all she couldn't think of.

He brought her closer to his chest and wrapped his arms around her breathing in her scent once again. He had the woman he loved in his arms right now and she didn't know it. 

They both eventually fell asleep thinking about a time when this might all be over, This thing with Ray, the thing with Rahz al ghoul, everything. Maybe then they could have a life together. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave any ideas you have for this story in the reviews as I'm having writers block. Thanks!


	8. Ignorant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just a filler chapter but kind of leading up to something. Shows a bit of Oliver's concern for Felicity. Not very long but I needed this to happen before the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't very long but I'm sorry it took so long to upload and write because I had writers block, I'm not very good at writing things when they are filler chapters because they don't give me inspiration.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and ideas and kudos. I hope you're liking this so far and please comment any other ideas and I will try and add them in and use them and they will definitely help to give me inspiration.

The next few days went by better than before. Sure, she still had nightmares and still slept in Oliver's bed, but things with Ray calmed down.

There was so much evidence against him that getting him in jail was actually easy. 

There was a trial held and it was difficult for Felicity to answer all the questions that were thrown at her but she did it. 

When he was declared guilty Felicity felt a weight off her chest. Happy tears fell down her face and Oliver had embraced her in a hug. All of team arrow had cheered for her not caring if it looked weird that they were all friends. 

Ray had screamed at her from across the room as the cops took him away. "You dirty little bitch! You won't forget me! I will make your life hell even if I'm locked away!" He had shouted at her.

That had been yesterday.

She thought that once Ray was locked up everything would be okay again. Everything would go back to normal. But she was wrong. She was naive to have thought like that.

She knew that Ray was right- she wouldn't forget him and even now that he's locked away, what he did to her would still haunt her and make her life hell, just as he'd promised.

She wasn't any different now. She was still damaged and upset and having panic attacks, waking up in a cold sweat, clinging on to Oliver for dear life when she did.

She would never be the same again.

She was also now all over the news, people were always taking pictures of her now, especially when she was with Oliver. She had supporters and haters out there but she really just wished they'd all mind their own business. 

She didn't need to be reminded on a daily basis of what she'd been though, she already knew. She didn't need people to know her face wherever she went because she was raped by her billionaire boss/boyfriend. 

And she knew that this wasn't something that should really concern her she couldn't help but think about her future love life. Who would want her now? Anyone who met her would know she's the girl who was raped if they lived in this city, and there was no way she'd move. 

Even if they didn't know she had nothing to offer anyone anyway. She was plain, pathetic, dirty, broken, and many other things, so who would want her? Her mother hasn't even called to ask if she's okay and Felicity knows her mom gets the news in Vegas.

Right now she was satin the lair, in grey joggers, a black long sleeved skin tight top and bright orange fluffy socks. She had started wearing more colours to try and make her normal again but so far it hadn't been working. 

She just felt so worthless. 

Today she was going to sleep in her own bed in her own home. It made sense since Ray was now locked up but she was so scared. She had no reason to be but she was. She felt like a chicken. 

She knew if she told Oliver she didn't want to go home he would probably let her sleep with him again but she couldn't do that. She couldn't put another burden on Oliver. Now that her problem was over with things had to go back to normal and they could forget about Ray and focus on Rahz because that was a bigger problem.

It was currently the evening and Felicity was sitting on her chair in the lair trying to get anything on Rahz. She hadn't told anyone she'd started researching him yet because she knew they would tell her to take some time off to compose herself and then help them when she felt ready. But she couldn't. She couldn't get some rest knowing that Rahz was still out there. She wasn't scared for herself, but for Oliver and his family. 

If she didn't find Rahz and his plans then he could hurt Oliver or his family and she would be to blame because she didn't do as much as she could to prevent it.

Oliver looked over to her. He wanted to go and patrol with Roy who was dressed and ready to go, but he also wanted to stay with her and hold her. He wanted to hold her and never let her go. He wanted to protect her from all of the horrible things in the world, and all of the horrible thoughts in her head. 

How could he leave her? She was so fragile right now. She'd already decided she was sleeping at her own house tonight, much to Oliver's distaste, she So why wouldn't he stay with her as long as he could now? Try and convince her otherwise?

"You can go you know" she told him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He realised he'd been caught staring at her as her eyes locked with his. 

"What?" He asked shaking his head slightly to try and recall what she had said.

"You can go." she told him. "Patrolling I mean, with Roy"

It surprised him how easy it was for her to read his thoughts and also a little scared. He looked away from her and walked to his suit. "Oh, right, yeah." He said regaining his composure "I'm just going to et changed, I'll be right out." 

He took his suit in to the bathroom and came out a few minuets later in full arrow gear.

It always amazed Felicity how quickly he could get in to that suit so quickly, it was skin tight and he was a big man. 

She wondered if he wore underwear underneath the suit. I mean, it's too tight to, right? Wow it but be pretty tight down there. And- 

She cut herself off from any other thoughts like that. They were really not good. First of all she couldn't see herself being intimate with someone in a very long time and thoughts like that make her think of it and then freak out a little. Secondly he would never feel that way about her so it was unhealthy to keep thinking about it. 

"You sure?" He asked her when she caught her gaze on him. She just nodded quickly, not trusting herself to speak.

He sighed but nodded once back. "Lets go" he told Roy and they left.

Laurel wasn't here tonight as she was having dinner with her dad and Diggle was having a night at home with Lyla and baby Sara, so it was just Roy and Oliver out in the field tonight.

Oliver was going to tell Felicity to not bother with the comms tonight but he soon realised she needed to do it because she needed to feel needed and important and a part of something. So he didn't say anything.

****

Patrolling was easy, they stopped two minor robberies and one almost rape (which Oliver tried not to tell Felicity, afraid of how she would take it) but it was easy to intervene and sort them out. 

Felicity was still at the foundary when Oliver got back. Roy had gone straight home from patrolling so he was no longer here. 

He made more noise than necessary purposely so that Felicity wouldn't be scared if he used his cat like moves to stop from making any sound. 

She turned to face him in her chair like she always did, and offered him a smile. The smile didn't quite reach her eyes but it wasn't entirely forced. 

It felt good to be helping people again and seeing Oliver walk in to the foundry, still dressed in his arrow suit but with the hood down, always made her smile.

He came over to her without any words and put a hand on her shoulder. He looked in to her eyes and opened his mouth to start talking but Felicity cut him off with a glare. 

She knew he was going to say something about her not needing to go home, that she could stay here still. But what he didn't understand was that she couldn't. She had to be alone because otherwise she didn't know if she ever could. If she continued to rely on Oliver she didn't know if, when he left, she would be able to go back to being on her own.

And Oliver would leave. He would sacrifice himself or do something stupid or push her away or fall in love with someone or go and pursue Laurel. She knew he wouldn't stay with her, she wasn't important enough, not to him.

Not only was she not important enough to Oliver but she was feeling less and less needed by the team. They didn't need her. They could do the tech things just fine without her, not as well, but fine. 

She wasn't needed, no one wanted her, no one would miss her, she didn't have a purpose. Maybe she should have stayed with Ray, at least he gave her purpose.

Oliver thought Felicity had made a lot of progress throughout the past few days, she had stopped having as many panic attacks and her nightmares were still there but were less frequent throughout the night and left her screaming less.

She'd also stopped having such a negative view of herself.

All of that progress went down the drain with her next thought...

She was worthless.

She didn't tell him she was thinking any of this though, I mean, why would he care?

Instead she told him what she originally planned on telling him. "Oliver, I'm going home, I've already told you that, you can't change my mind on this" 

He looked in to her eyes and saw the stern fierce look in them that told him there was no use in arguing. He sighed and nodded. "I know," he drew his hand away from her shoulder and took a step back. "I just..." he trailed off and closed his eyes. He wanted to tell her how much he wanted her to stay as much for his sanity as her own safety, but he couldn't, not without once again revealing his feelings to her which he didn't think she was ready to hear again. "Be safe" he told her looking in her eyes once again.

"I will Oliver," she promises him. "it's not like I'm planning to leave all my windows and doors open so anyone can get in, jeez" she mutters under her breath but he hears anyway and just shakes his head huffing out a laugh.

****

When she arrives home it's dark and cold and empty. The silence is deafening and eerie. 

She switched on the light and dropped her bag on the floor beside her door and placed the Keyes on the cabinet on the other side of it.

She looked around her house and had to close her eyes as all the hurtful memories assaulted her. The rape, the branding and just the abuse in general.

She felt numb once again. She was having a bad day, not in the sense that things were going wrong, but mentally it was bad. She was not feeling that great, unwanted, unimportant, a burden, and she was starting to close off again. She knew everything would probably be okay again tomorrow or the next day, but right now she just couldn't bring herself to care. 

She used her feet to slide off her shoes as she couldn't be bothered to bend down and do it. Then she dragged her lifeless, exhausted, small, and frail body to bed.

Her warm bed. That was something shed once loved, she'd once craved to be in it, surrounded by the comfy sheets and fluffy blankets. But now all that came with it were memories. 

Now she threw her body on to the less comfortable bed in the guest bedroom. She didn't bother with a shower as she'd had one in the morning, she didn't wipe off her makeup as she hadn't bothered to put any on, she couldn't be bothered to change as she was just too tired. 

She wanted to lie down. She wouldn't sleep, she knew that much, but she wanted to lie down in a bed by herself and feel even a little proud of herself for not needing anyone. 

Just as she was starting to feel a little bit okay with being back in her house she heard something. 

It wasn't much, just a gust of wind, but she knew she hadn't left the house that morning several days ago without shutting all the windows. Hell, she hardly opened them anymore because she was never home. So why were they open?

Obviously her brain was too tired to think like this then, but later looking back on it she would realise how stupid and ignorant she'd been. She could have saved herself a world of trouble. Well, maybe not as she wasn't that strong but she could have tried at least.

Instead she just lay there oblivious to everything going on around her as whoever it was wasn't making a sound.

That's the thing about the league of assassins- they are taught to move as elegant and silent as cats.

That's why she wasn't aware of anyone's presence until the cloth was covering her mouth and nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any ideas! 
> 
> Thank you to heidi2310 for giving me the idea for Rahz taking felicity there will be more in the next chapter.


	9. Deals with the devil to kill a demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity wakes up and is in for a surprise and Oliver is making deals with the devil in order to save her. (Short chapter but didn't want to make you wait any longer)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I am so sorry I haven't been updating lately but I've had some healthy issues for the past few months that have had me not feeling up to anything and I'd try to write but my brain would be all fuzzy from the medication I was on. But I'm okay now. I wanted to write more but I didn't want to keep anyone waiting any longer. Thank you for the comments and ideas and kudos and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Oliver didn't sleep that night, the most sleep he got was an hours worth. He couldn't sleep whilst he worried about her, he couldn't sleep unless she was in his arms. 

Her smell was calming and intoxicating all at once, her hair was soft when he brushed it through with his callused fingers, and her eyes were a soft green, yet pierced right through him with such power every time he looked in to them. 

He could sleep through the night with her by his side, with her body pressed up against his. But now he lie rigid in his bed under his covers trying to sleep. 

He couldn't get his mind off of her no matter how hard he tried, he knew he couldn't have her here, he couldn't keep her locked away if she needed to go and be by herself, but that didn't stop him from wanting to.

He shuffled his head on his pillow and caught her scent. He got the pillow she'd been sleeping on these past few nights and replaced it with his own and buried his head in it. 

It was easier for him to fall asleep now as she didn't just cloud his thoughts, her scent surrounded him. It made him feel like she was there and that she was safe. 

He could not be more wrong....

****

Felicity woke up feeling groggy. She felt the weight of blankets and a duvet on top of her, and the silky cover in her hands. She snuggled further in to the warmth of the pillow. 

Her head was pounding so she tried to take deep breaths to make her feel better, and squeezed her eyes shut tight to Block out the pain.

She tried to recall the events that happened in order for her to get this big headache, but she couldn't. 

Was she drugged?

That was the only explanation she could think of. Either that or she'd had a hell of a lot to drink and she hadn't gotten that drunk since college. 

She thinks back to the last thing she could remember-her little chat with Oliver. Then she left to go to her apartment and... she was tired and then... the wind. There was wind. She remembered the wind.

'Oh well done. You remembered wind. That's going to help us a great deal!' A sarcastic voice in the back of her head reprimanded her.

But why was there wind? Her doors and windows were shut? Weren't they?

And just like that she remembered. Her eyes snapped open and she bolted upright.

"calm down Miss Smoak. I'm not going to hurt you" Rahz tells her. He is there. Right in front of her. Staring at her with those all knowing eyes. She wanted to scream. Run scared. But she stayed still, as still as she could. 

She didn't want to show him how afraid he made her feel, but he already knew. 

He took a few steps back. "I know you don't trust me, I wouldn't trust me either. But I am not going to hurt you. You're safe here" Rahz said nonchalantly. He hadn't a care in the world, or at least he didn't seem like he did.

Felicity still wasn't convinced. Was this something he did? Lulled you in to a false sense of security just to make it hurt that much more when he turned on you? Well that wouldn't work on her. She wouldn't let it.

Her eyes told him how in trusting she was of him and he chuckled. "You're smart too, most people who had just been drugged wouldn't have worked out where they were yet, what happened, or who to trust, but you have haven't you? That's why you're so afraid of me isn't it? Your precious Oliver Queen told you about me." He stated. 

"Believe it or not I didn't kidnap you to hurt Oliver, but because I want to see what is so special about you. Why he needs you. How much he needs you. How good you are at computers and why. If you have any other skills. Why you chose Oliver over and over again, you fight with him and risk everything when you could have your own company with a brain like yours. And i want to see your light and why you have such a lightness to you." Rahz listed off the reasons happily, with a look of excitement and impatience in his eyes. 

"But I know you don't trust me and you at least need to have a little bit of trust in me for any of this to work, so I have brought in an old friend of yours..." he says and opens the heavy door to the surprisingly cozy room she is in, to reveal none other than Nyssa standing behind it. The assassin offered the blonde a small smile before her mask fell back in to place and she came to stand next to her father. "Also known as my daughter, Nyssa al Ghul" he said proudly. 

Felicity knew her and Nyssa only met once and they weren't really friends but she was nice to her, so surely she wouldn't participate in her kidnapping right? Wrong. 

"And if that's not enough to make you trust me then here's something you can put all of your faith in to....If I do not get the answers I desire Oliver will watch you die, slowly, and then he will suffer a slow drawn out torturous death shortly after" he said deadly sinister as he got up close to her face. She gulped in fear. He left then. Just walked straight out of the room and she sighed.

Nyssa stared at her with guilt and pity. "I apologise for this-" she paused and a small smile graced her lips before continuing. "Felicity Smoak MIT class of 09" she said before walking out. The heavy door locking behind her.

It wasn't much but it showed Felicity that Nyssa was still human and that she wouldn't let Rahz hurt her.

****

"Father" Nyssa said as she walked out into the hallway. "Must we keep her here? She's no harm to us." 

"I don't plan to cause her harm" Rahz replied in a thoughtful manor.

"Then what do you plan to do with her?" Nyssa said trying to mask the concern in her voice.

"She's Oliver Queens light. She's the arrows light. She's the light of that team." Rahz starts "last week she was raped by her billionaire boyfriend and before that he was abusing her, yet she still managed to have a certain light in her eyes, I want to know how. I want to know what makes her like this. So...." he trails off in search for the right word.

"Unique" Nyssa finishes for him and he nods in agreement. "But that's just it, it's not something that you can copy, what makes her light isn't because of how she's wired or any examples she's been led by. She has this lightness and it's a miracle and it's a trait that will only ever belong to Felicity Smoak." She argues, trying whatever she can to get him to let Felicity go.

"I don't believe in miracles, everything can be explained." Rahz replies. "Not only that but I'm also hurting Oliver Queen at the same time, it's a win win" he said shrugging as if kidnapping someone wasn't a big deal.

"But that still doesn't explain what exactly you are going to do to her" 

Rahz raises his eyebrows as his daughter "I am simply going to run some tests and ask some questions. No harm done" he doesn't wait for a response as he walks away, down the corridor, ending the conversation.

Nyssa sighed in regret and sorrow . That girl in there needed a break. She didn't deserve this. No one did but especially not her.

****

She wasn't here. Why wasn't she here? It was 10am she said she'd be here by 9. She wasn't returning his calls or responding to his messages. Where the hell was she? 

Oliver had learnt how to control his anxiety throughout the years. He didn't have an anxiety disorder or anything like that, but he learnt how to control his emotions and panic whilst out in the field fighting for his life, or someone else's. But right now he couldn't control any of his emotions at all.

He was sitting in her chair one minuet, his knees bouncing up and down whilst he stared at his phone and her computer screens that told him she was at home, and the next he was beating the crap out of some dummy. 

Digg and Roy had arrived half an hour ago and they had been worried but they had tried to rationalise with him. But it was to no use. Digg was trying to get through to Felicity to. Texting her, calling her. No one get an answer.

They had called Laurel and she'd come right over and helped but she couldn't do much. No one could.

Oliver couldn't let himself think of the thing that could of happened. He wouldn't let it enter his brain. It wasn't a possibility. Nope. He couldn't possibly know about his love for the bubbly, strong, blonde. 

Rahz couldn't possibly have taken Felicity to get to him. 

Except that's exactly what he did.

****

Felicity had been sitting in the room for what she decided was hours. It was plain and boring. She was sitting on a comfy bed alone. There was no one and nothing else with her. She remembered the door being locked after Nyssa left and even if it wasn't there'd be no point in trying to escape. They were a league of assassins for gods sake. She stood no chance against any of them.

Felicity didn't understand what was happening. She knew why she was here. But she didn't understand why she had a comfortable bed, why she wasn't in a dungeon somewhere, why they weren't torturing her and sending it to Oliver so he could watch her suffer. She didn't want any of this stuff to happen, but somehow she found this scarier. They were being nice to her, or at least civil, which is weird and scary because the punch should come soon right? 

If they were going to torture her at least she'd know what to expect. Now she had no idea. 

She hated the unknown. She hated mysteries. They needed to be solved. Usually she could solve mysteries fairly quickly this however, was a jigsaw and she was missing half of the pieces. 

****

"Where is she?!" Oliver growled at Digg, his voice rising with each word.

"I don't know! If I knew that we wouldn't be standing here like idiots staring at a computer screen!" Digg replied just as loud.

They had been searching for over two hours for Felicity and she was no where to be found. First Oliver went to her house, then checked the prison for any visitors to Ray (incase she was feeling vengeful or searching for answers or particularly self destructive), and then all around the city to places she'd been or would go to. Digg had been running all the searches he knew how to on Felicity's computers-which all gave them nothing apart from telling them she was at home. It was lying. Roy helped Oliver search the city and Laurel was using all of her resources she could to help such as her father and the police force and their facilities, and anything and anyone in the DA's office that could help. All of this but still nothing. They had nothing. 

Oliver knew there was only one other place she could be but he couldn't let himself think of her being there because of him, and so he took his anger out on Digg and the rest of what was left of the team. 

Digg was falling apart too. Not because he had any connections to the league or Rah'z al Ghul but because Felicity was a little sister to him and she had this light to her eyes and the way she was that could make a bad day seem so much better. Even after everything that's happened to her she still shone brighter than any star. She didn't deserve to have anything bad happen to her ever. He was afraid she was going to be stretched too far and her light would start to fade. She'd already dealt with so much. She didn't need this as well. She was strong, they all knew that, but if she got through this and still carried all of that light with her they'd be amazed.

"Guys, I hate to be the voice of reason here, I mean seriously that's usually Diggs job, but standing here shouting at each other isn't going to find Felicity. I know you're both upset, I am too trust me, she was-is a big sister to me" he said wincing at his mistake which made Oliver sharpen his glare that was directed at Roy. "But we need to put our heads together and think, without Felicity we don't have anyone to think for us so we're gonna have to do it for her this time" he paused to take in everyone's reactions. Olivers glare had softened slightly and Digs shoulders had less tension than they did, Laurel, who had gotten there not long ago, was nodding along with his mini speech. "Now, we all know where she probably is and who probably took her but only one of us knows how to get there." Roy finishes with a pointed look at Oliver.

"Pack your bags. We're leaving in an hour" Oliver says after a beat and sits down in Felicity's chair and sighs. 

Everyone dispersed from the room and went to their houses to pack a bag of stuff they might need for a day or a few days and nights as they didn't know how long it would take.

Oliver had a bag packed already. He always did just incase he needed to up and go in a split second. He had everything sorted.. apart from how they were getting there. Ray may be in jail but the company hadn't been settled yet. Legally it was Felicity's as she was the 'Vice President' of Palmer tech and so it went to her but people were trying to claim that she'd faked everything just to get the company and after everything she wanted to stay out of the media and everything for a while so she hadn't accepted the company yet. It was just floating there. She had to take the offer by next week otherwise it would go to whoever would pay the most for it. So long story short they didn't have a private jet to just fly out. 

"Having money trouble mr Queen?" Malcolm's familiar voice came from the back of the foundry. 

Olivers head snapped up and he stood up from the seat. He knew where everything was in the foundry so he could grab anything such as weapons if he needed it at a moments notice to defend himself. One thing he'd learnt was to never let his guard down around Malcom Merlyn. He wasn't their biggest threat right now but he was still a threat and someone they didn't need against them right now.

"What do you want Malcom?" Oliver asked.

"I want something only you can get me. I want to be demons head and, I've always looked at you as a son Oliver so I want you to be happy and Felicity makes you happy so I will happily help you get her back if you help me." Malcom offers.

"Even if I wanted to except your deal I can't kill Rahz anyway, I've tried already." Oliver said looking down in disappointment. If he'd of killed Rahz when he'd had the chance Felicity wouldn't be in danger right now. She would be here with him. Safe.

"I think that if it was for your precious Felicity you could do anything, and I could help of course but I can't do it alone." Malcom said trying to persuade him. " I will arrange a private jet to pick us up in an hour and take us to the league. I will help you get Felicity back and then you will help me become demons head. Do we have a deal?" 

Oliver didn't want to be making deals with the devil, but he had no other way of getting to Felicity and he needed to get to her now. He needed her safe and away from anything that brought evil with it. Malcom said it first- he would do anything for his Felicity. 

Oliver sighed "okay" he gave in deflated.

"Perfect, see you in an hour, I'll text you the address." Malcom said and then left with no noise.

Oliver collapsed back in to the chair and held his head. 'What was he getting himself in to?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the top notes to find out why I wasn't updating.
> 
> Please leave any ideas you have as I am struggling to come up with some. After I finish this little idea I'm not sure what will come next so please share your ideas I enjoy reading through them all so much. Thank you for reading. I will try and update soon. :)


	10. Rahz' obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's first night in the league. Short chapter but quick update. Hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the ideas please keep sending them in I really appreciate it and they're all amazing to read they give me so much more inspiration to keep writing this story. It's a short and not very good chapter but I hope you like it anyway, I just wanted to get another update done because of how long I left it last time.

It had been almost a whole day Felicity had been sat on the surprisingly comfy bed doing nothing but staring at the ceiling and making herself more worried about what was to come.

She was driving herself insane, but at least the fear was real, it was something she could hold on to. It was something that would keep her grounded at the same time as driving her crazy. 

Felicity had been thinking about all of the things Rahz might be planning to do to her when she heard the door unlock and it opened to reveal the demon himself. 

He didn't make a sound as he locked the door shut and walked towards her. Her heart rate sped up with every step closer he took. 

She had previously been lying on her back staring up at the cream ceiling, but now she sat herself up and slowly pushed herself in to the railing of the bed. She was hoping the wall would open up and swallow her whole. She wanted to disappear and she figured if she pushed herself against the railing these things would happen.

Rahz sat at the foot of the massive bed and looked her over. "I'm not going to hurt you miss Smoak, you don't need to be afraid." He stated although he knew she wouldn't listen. They sat in silence for a minuet. He stared at her with patient eyes, she stared back at him with a wide-eyed fearful expression. 

She was trying to get her breathing under control but it was a lost cause. "What do you want from me?" She asked, her voice hoarse from lack of speaking. She wanted to know what he wanted so she could give it to him and leave this place. She just wanted to be home. She just wanted to be with Oliver.

She always said she'd never be the type of girl to need a man but right now she needed him. She felt shame in that because she should be able to do everything herself she shouldn't need anyone. She needed him and there was nothing anyone - including her - could do about it. 

"I thought I'd already told you this miss Smoak. I want to see what is the cause of this lightness you have in your eyes. I can still see it now, despite everything you still have it and that, that is just too precious to let go. I need to know what it is so that I can make others like you. So they will never give up hope and will never stop fighting." Icy cold fear cut through her. They were never letting her go. She couldn't give him what he wanted so she couldn't leave. They would never let her.

"You seem so afraid miss smoak. I don't want you to fear me. You have no reason to worry. You are safe here no one can hurt you. I won't let them." Rahz said. 

She didn't know how he thought that would reassure her. The demons head telling her not to worry and that no one would hurt her? Oh how promising. 

"I don't think you'd be this afraid if Mr. Palmer hadn't abused you the way he did." He watched the emotions of hate, intense terror, sadness and anger all cross Felicity's face. "I'm right aren't I?" He wasn't taunting her, but that's what it felt like. 

"You have no right to bring that up" she told him. She tried to sing strong but in her ears she only sounded weak and afraid. Her voice, which was already hoarse, cracked half way through her sentence. 

"Hmm" was his only response.   
"Now, do you know what makes you so special mrs Smoak?" He asked her. He didn't expect an answer, he didn't need one, not yet. "It's not just that you have a light inside of you, its that you were scared, abused, raped," she flinched at the harsh word and he watched as it sliced through her. "you have been kidnapped repeatedly, been within an inch of your life more times than you can count, all of this because of Oliver queen-" she cut him off. She felt the anger and need to defend Oliver bubble up inside of her and it gave her a sudden boost of confidence.

"What Ray did was not Olivers fault." She growled.

"All of this because of Oliver queen" Rahz repeated louder this time. "And yet you still stand by him you still fight with him and you still defend him!" He shouted, his voice rising with each word as he slowly stood up an towered over her.

They sit in silence for another minuet where she is too afraid to talk. Finally she just can't keep her words inside any longer.

"Oliver is a good man and he has never done anything but be a hero! He had never hurt me and never name me do anything I didn't want to do. None of that is Oliver's fault I chose to stay! Not just because of Oliver, but because I wanted to protect my city!" She shouted in one breath. 

After she realised what she'd done she cowered back in to the bed railing, scared of what he might do next. He didn't do anything for the first 30 seconds, And those 30 seconds felt like hours to Felicity, But then he got a small smile on his face that just grew. His eyes lit up and he stared at her in amazement. He took a breath in and released it in a contented sigh. 

"It's outstanding" he muttered. "Your light. I can see it. It's brighter than ever. It's not because of him. It's not because you're in love with him is it? It's not caused by anything but your own being your own... nature" he said softly; struggling for words.

Felicity looked at him with confusion and fear, her breathing was uneven but she had relaxed slightly. 

"Amazing." He stated. 

There was a knock at the door, ruining the moment, and Rahz turned and unlocked it. It opened to reveal an older looking female who had a tray of food in their hands. Chicken salad. It wasn't bad food. It was actually quite nice, she just didn't understand why they would give her nice food. 

"Ah, food." Rahz said and turned to Felicity. "Eat it all" was all he said before exiting the room. The woman put the tray on the bed and left, locking the door behind her. 

Felicity relaxed slightly after 10 minuets and her breathing went back to normal. She picked up the tray and placed it on her lap and started picking at it. After about an hour she'd finished all of her food and drank the water that was on the tray. She didn't trust that the food wasn't drugged but she also didn't trust that they wouldn't hurt her if she didn't eat it so she did. 

She hadn't realised how hungry she'd been before she ate. She had been too busy worrying to think about food. Now she was full. She felt sick but not because of the food, but because she was here, trapped, and Rahz al Ghul had taken an obsession with her, and there was nothing she could do about it. She was stuck. And this time, Oliver couldn't help her.

She looked around the room once more and this time saw a little seem in one of the walls that hadn't been there before. Slowly she swung her legs off the bed and tentatively stepped on to the cold floor. Her legs were wobbly from not using them for a day and they were still bruised from Ray hurting her. 

She made her way to the seem in the wall and ran her fingers along it. Next to it she found a dent in the wall, fascinated, she pressed her thumb in to it and the wall slid to the side. She jumped back in shock and looked at what lay inside. It was an ensuite, there was a nice shower, toilet and sink, they were all small but they were nice. She didn't understand why they were treating her like a guest in a hotel.

"Nice isn't it?" Rahz asked from behind her making her jump and spin to face him. 

He'd managed to get inside the room and lock the door again all without making a sound. She shouldn't be surprised he was the demons head after all. 

"I thought you would benefit from having a bathroom to use" he told her. 'Well yeah otherwise I'd have to pee myself' Felicity thought but the fear she felt thankfully kept that from coming out of her mouth.

"I just came to tell you one more thing." Rahz said and took a step closer. There was still a lot of distance between them but Felicity tensed slightly more at the movement. "Tomorrow I will have someone wake you up at 6 am sharp and you will be given breakfast. You will have till 6:20 am to finish your breakfast and then will be given a following 40 minuets to get ready. A pair of clothes will be placed on the end of your bed to change in to when they bring in breakfast which you will wear for the day and night. During the day time I will be studying you. I have already got most of the knowledge that I need and the results have not turned up good for me so you will be here longer than first planned. I will be pushing you to your limits, seeing what makes you snap, what brings out the light, and just how strong or weak you really are miss Smoak. You will not be given lunch and you will have dinner at 6pm and then you will be in bed by 9pm. is that understood?" Rahz states, his gaze cold and hard, unlike earlier when it was open and, well not kind, but less... evil looking.

Felicity nodded once and Rahz nodded back "good" he said before turning and unlocking the door and opening it once again. "Oh and, shower in the morning, it'll wake you up more. Feel free to use the toilet or sink, there should be some toothpaste in there somewhere. There are no cameras anywhere as we trust that you won't try and escape because you're smarter than that." Rahz told her before walking out and locking the door behind him.

Felicity sighed. 'This was going to be a whole new type of torture' she thought. 

She stepped in to the bathroom and the door slid shut behind her. The door had a handle on this side so it was easier to open the door, she noticed.

Felicity opened a small carbonate and, as promised, there was toothpaste and a toothbrush which she used before washing her face and leaving the room. 

She got in to the comfy bed, under the covers, and lied down. She hadn't slept without Oliver yet since she told the team about Ray, unless you count being drugged, which she didn't, so she didn't think she'd be able to sleep at all now especially because she was in the league of assassins. Despite being in a foreign place filled with people who could easily kill her and who are holding her captive sleep engulfed her quickly. 

There was a metallic taste at the back of her thrust despite brushing her teeth and she assumed they'd drugged the drink to help her sleep, but she couldn't bring herself to care because maybe this would give her a full nights sleep.

****

She slept a full night without a hitch but it the morning woke up screaming and sweating because someone had shaken her awake. 

Once Felicity had gained her breath back she put on her glasses and looked the person who woke her up over. It was another league member she didn't recognise. He was a man with a strong build and hard features. He was younger than the woman from the day before but was still older than her.

She moved as far as she could away from him which he don't seem fazed by at all. He just placed a tray of food at the end of her bed and a pile of clothes next to it and walked out. 

Felicity took a deep breath and began eating the food. She didn't know how she was supposed to know when to start getting ready or when it was 20 past but she assumed somehow they'd tell her. 

She was right. At 20 past a bell chimed and a recorded voice that resembled Rahz al Ghul (it was hard to tell) said the words "start getting ready.".

Once the bell had chimed she quickly ate the last few bites of her breakfast, which was porridge with fruit on it, and then she got up with the pile of clothes in hand, and walked in to the bathroom. 

She hesitantly undressed and got in to the shower. The water was warm and felt nice on her new scars. She washed her body with a strawberry scented body wash that was already in there and her hair with a conditioner and shampoo that were also in the shower already. She spent around 10 minuets in the shower and that's all she allowed herself. If she spent any longer in there she was afraid someone would walk in or she'd start thinking about everything that has happened and loose it. She couldn't loose it now. She had to be strong. For Oliver, for the team, but most importantly for herself. 

She got out of the shower and dried herself with a towel that was hanging on the shower door. She couldn't be certain but she could have sworn that wasn't there the night before, which meant someone was in here whilst she was sleeping, which meant- no. She wasn't going to over think anything. 

She picked up the clothes that had been provided for her. First there was a pair of black panties which put her off immediately. They weren't extra sexy but they were black and black wasn't and innocent colour and she wasn't being a prude but she didn't want to over sexualise herself she wasn't ready for that. Ugh. Why was something as simple as wearing black panties messing her up like this? It shouldn't be. She wanted to scream at herself. But she didn't. She took a deep breath - maybe rolled her eyes at herself a little - and put on the black panties.

Next was the black bra. It was your standard plain black bra. There was nothing special about it apart from it had extra support in it which she wasn't surprised by because they were assassins they didn't need their boobs flying everywhere when they were fighting, that just wasn't practical. She put the bra on and tried not to think about how Rahz - or whoever provided her with these clothes - knew all of her sizes. 

Next she picked up the pants. 'Hey at least they are covering my legs up' she thought. She'd feel much better wearing these than if they'd given her a dress or skirt to wear or something that showed off her legs. Not that the league had skirts because hello assassins and again fighting in skirts is not practical. She slipped the black skinny jeans on and did them up. 

Next came the top. The top was a stretchy material but was still skin tight and the same time. It was a grey colour and she put it on.

Felicity then noticed something lying on the floor. It was black and made a loop on the ground. Curiosity got the best of her and she bent down to pick it up. It was a hair bobble. 'Now they're telling me how to have my hair?' She thought. She was being controlled. After what Ray did to her she needed control since he took hers away from her so this made the ever growing tightness in her chest even tighter but she grit her teeth so she didn't loose it all.

She checked the cupboards in the bathroom and found a brush in one. She brushed through her wet hair and put it up using the bobble. Felicity then slid on the black ankle socks and black trainers. 

She then brushed her teeth before she heard her door unlock. She wanted to shut herself in the bathroom and never come out, of course there was no lock on the door so that plan probably wouldn't work anyway, but that's what she wanted to do. 

She spat out what was left of her toothpaste in her mouth and washed her mouth out with tap water. Then she slowly, hesitantly walked to the bathroom door and opened it. 

When she stepped in to her room she saw Rahz staring at her from across the other side of her room. "Good morning mrs Smoak, how did you sleep?" He asked her. She just gritted her teeth and fought the urge to run under the bed and hide. 

She felt like a little kid who saw a monster and would run and hide under their covers and the monster would go away because if you can't see them they can't see you, right? 

She wished this monster would go away if she closed her eyes, but unfortunately that couldn't happen, because her monster was very very real. 

"Not in a talkative mood? That's fine for now, I'll have you talking in a bit. For now I want you to come with me." He told her, and she noticed for the first time her room door was left open. 

She was still staring at the open door wondering if she could make a run for it when she felt a hard grip on her arm. She flinched away from the contact but that just made him grip harder. Felicity wanted to scream and cry, but again she just grit her teeth and stared straight ahead. 

"Before you try anything" Rahz said "I want you to remember this whole place if filled with assassins who all take orders from me. I said I wouldn't hurt you, but that's only if you do as I say. Understood?" He asked again in that stone cold voice. She gave a small jerky nod and he returned it once again and dragged her out of the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Please leave comments and tell me your ideas as I love reading them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's mind is unravelling slowly as she cracks under all of the pressure she's being put under. Will she make it through this? Is she going to be strong enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a great chapter and didn't get very far but it took a long time to write because I focussed a lot on what Felicity was thinking, also I had left it a little while without an update so here you go. Hope you like it.

Rahz had dragged Felicity through the long, dark corridors of the league until he reached two big, heavy doors. They were opened for him by other league members and he continued to pull her through them.

As she was dragged into the room she saw what looked to be a throne and a weird demonic hot tub thing. I mean, it looked like a normal hot tub, but Rahz was evil and so chances are it was not. Too bad, really – she could have really used a hot tub right about now.

Rahz let go of her arm. He'd been holding her tighter than she'd realised and now she thought her arm might be bruised.

Her head was fuzzy and she hadn't quite grasped that she was here. That she had been kidnapped and was now in the league of assassins. Well, she wasn't in the league of assassins, but she was where they lived. It was just something she'd never even considered to be a possibility.

Now here she was standing in front of the demons head, dressed in clothes he'd provided for her and severely mentally and emotionally damaged. 

At least she could admit it, right?

Rahz walked to the front of the room and sat in his throne-like chair which she didn't officially know the name of. Was it still called a throne if it wasn't for a king? Ugh. She didn't need to be focussing her thoughts and energy on this right now, she had far ore important things to think about.

“My dear Felicity,” Rahz started, the formality in his voice from earlier, gone. “You are very special, but I think we've already established that.” He said to her with the hint of a smile on his mouth. “Today we are going to be pushing you to your limits, mentally of course, and see if that light is still there when we're done with you. Questions?” He asked as if he cared, though he knew she wouldn't be stupid enough to actually ask a question or try to defy in. She just simply nodded, too stunned to do anything else.

“Great.” Rahz told her, the hint of a smile from earlier growing ever so slightly, and then called for two other league members to take her somewhere. They didn't say where but she could tell the two assassins knew where to take her, this was all planned.

Felicity struggled against the two men's hands holding her but she knew she was no match for them, especially when all they had to do to make her stop fighting was grab her arms with a little too much strength.

She thought she felt weak when Sara joined the team, or when she was standing with Slade Wilson's sword to her throat, or when she was tied up in a chair with the clock king, or when she was being assaulted by Ray, or when she needed the teams help to save her from Ray, or when she- you know what? There's been a lot of times when she thought she felt weak there's no use in re-living them all now and getting herself in to more of a state than she is already in. The point is, all of those times she felt weak? Thy didn't even come close to how weak she felt now.

She was surrounded by fully trained assassins who could snap her neck in half without breaking a sweat. They could make her do anything they wanted her to do, do anything that they wanted to do to her. She had no control over anything, control which was important to her after Ray had taken it. Now she was left with none again.

Felicity knew she shouldn't panic, Oliver would come and save her right? But that just made her feel worse. She kept getting herself in to these positions where she couldn't defend herself and needed Oliver to save her, and every time she needed him he was there, risking his life for her again and again. She was tired of feeling weak. She was tired of being the one everyone needed to protect.

Everyone that knew the situation between them, including Oliver and Rahz, they all thought that it was Oliver's fault she ended up in these terrible situations, they thought it was Oliver wgo was bad for Felicity. Felicity believed it was the other way around. She'd get herself in to these positions because she was being reckless or stupid or weak or stuborn or wasn't thinking and then she'd inconvenience the Oliver by having him save her again and again and getting another team member injured in the process.

Felicity was dragged by the two assassins in to a room next to the one they were just in. It was dark when they first stepped in to it, but one of the men lit up the torches on the walls with a smaller torch that Felicity, before now, hadn't noticed he was holding.

The room was small and had only a chair with some wires surrounding it to occupy it. She was filled with a sense of dread at this sight even though she didn't really know what would be happening to her yet. What she did know though, was that whatever it was that Rahz had in stall for her, it wouldn't be good.

The assassins pushed her in to the chair and attached the wires to her. She couldn't concentrate on what they were doing or saying as her breathing picked up and became uneven and her vision went blurry. She couldn't process what was happening. It felt like she was underwater, desperate for air, slowly fading, not being able to hear anything, and not being able to be saved.

The men said something to her, that much she knew, but all she could gather from it was the words 'machine' and 'fears' and 'till you break'. From that she could probably guess what was about to happen but she didn't want to. She didn't want to think about that at all. She couldn't, or she wouldn't make it out of this.

It took her a few minuets to realise she was now alone in the room and that her unsteady breathing was slowly calming.

The fuzz in her head was starting to cease when she heard Rahz's unwelcome voice in her ear. Except it wasn't just in her ear, it was all around her – There must be speakers in the room.

It confused her that they didn't have lights and used torches instead, but they had speakers and other electrical items which were less important and even more modern, but once again she shouldn't be focussing on this right now.

Sara would have never let her thoughts run away from her, she would have focussed and fought and gotten out of here without needing anyone to come and save her. Hell, even Laurel would be able to control her thoughts and think usefully, but not Felicity. Felicity was supposed to be the smart one, yet she couldn't even get her brain to focus. She was useless. She didn't know why the team needed her and she especially didn't know why Rahz found her so special that he needed her here to experiment on. She was no use to anyone. If she couldn't be smart and do the one thing she was good at then what good was she? 

No.

She had to stop this. The over thinking everything, the self-doubt. She had to be strong for just until this was over. For now, she just needed to get through this. She could at least do that right? What was she saying? of course she could. She wasn't going to even ask because that was a sign of self-doubt right? Great, now she was overthinking again. Wait, was that a sign of self-doubt?

OH MY GOD.

She wished her brain would just shut up. Seriously. It was really getting on her nerves and driving her insane. Literally insane, she was talking to herself for God's sake. 

Felicity shut her eyes tightly and took a deep breath in and released it. She could do this. She wouldn't let him beat her down. 

She sat in her chair, hooked up to various machines that did who knows what, trying to decipher what Rah'z was saying through the speakers.

“Miss Smoak, you will be put through a range of mental challenges until I am convinced you are at breaking point, then I will have you detached from the machines. Do you understand?” He asked her.

No, I don't. I don't understand why I am here why I am so important or what you think I can give you. I don't understand what use I am, or why you think I have something you need. I don't understand why you aren't just plain torturing or killing me. But most importantly? I don't understand what you mean when you say I have a light to my eyes or my personality. I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

That is what she wanted to say. What she really said was “Yes” and her voice cracked in the middle.

“Good. Now let us begin” Rahz said, sounding way too pleased.

At first, Felicity thought maybe the machines weren't working, maybe it was just to see how she dealt with the unknown – not well by the way – or maybe they just hadn't turned on the machines yet. But then her brain went all foggy again, but this time it was not because of her increasing anxiety about the situation. Then, even though she fought the tiredness taking over her whole body, her eyes started to droop until they were finally closed and within seconds she was in a deep sleep.

Apart from she wasn't asleep.

Her eyes opened but she was no longer in a chair in the league, she was standing in her room in her house. It wasn't her home anymore, it was just a house that she owned and kept all her belongings in. She didn't know how she got here, she was so far past confused, she had trouble even remembering her name, let alone how she got here or what was real and what was just in her head.

The last thing she remembered was sitting in the chair in the league, attached to different machines. That could have been a dream, well, a nightmare. But then gain, if she'd just awoken from a dream then surely she'd be in her pajamas and in her bed, but no, she was standing in front of her door wearing an outfit she'd recently worn. 

Usually, it was her and Digg who were the put together members of the team but now she was so torn apart she couldn't even think straight and she kept unravelling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Thank you for all the comments, kudos, and ideas that people are leaving they really mean a lot and I would love to hear everyone's ideas on what they want to happen next as the ideas inspire me further and make me enjoy writing this story so much more. Also, I re-read some of the chapters of my story and I've realized I have (especially in the first lot of chapters) been a terrible writer and my grammar and spelling are terrible so sorry about that I will try and be better from now on. :)


	12. Reality or dreaming?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity is in her dream world and is pulled to her limits. How will she cope? Will she escape? Is she mentally strong enough to beat Rahz?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter as I stayed up very late writing it ;). I have another story I'm working on but I don't think I'm going to post it until this one has developed more and the one I'm working on has more than ten chapters in drafts ready to post so I can post them weekly and it won't be as hard to keep up with deadlines. It's another arrow fanfic focussed mainly on Felicity but there will also be some avengers and supernatural characters in it too.

Felicity couldn't move. She was frozen, standing near the door in her room, unmoving. She couldn't work out what was happening, but she soon realized that wasn't her biggest problem right now as she heard the front door open and shut. Someone was in her house.

Her head was dizzy and she had to strain to hear anything, and everything she could hear was echoing inside of her brain but she could still hear the footsteps, the heavy, clumsy footsteps, coming closer and closer towards her and her bedroom. She was scared, to say the least, scared and weak. She didn't know what to do. She thought about hiding behind her bed maybe, but her feet didn't move no matter how hard she willed them to. Instead, her feet stood very still, glued to the floor as she stared wide-eyed at the door that the intruder was walking closer and closer towards. Her breathing started to pick up and she took a big audible gulp of air as she tried to swallow her fear.

Sara would have moved and grabbed a weapon to beat whoever this was up with by now, Laurel would have called the police and been able to defend herself in the short moments before they got to her, hell, even the normal, level-headed Felicity would have done something like worked out that this person was most likely a man because of how heavy their footsteps were, that they probably weren't trained because of their clumsy feet, and that they were drunk because of the way the intruder was knocking into every wall and object there was in her house, and they were being very slow whilst they are at it. But no. This Felicity just stands there, not moving, being the most unhelpful person she could be being right about now.

WHY COULDN'T SHE MOVE?! 

in her head, she was screaming at herself to move, to do something, to just take a step forward even. She didn't care how small the movement, she was just begging herself to do something, anything at all to show she wasn't completely brain dead. But still, nothing came.

She felt like she was trapped inside her own head, unable to escape or do anything. She felt like she was seeing everything happen in a third person view, but at the same time she knew this was happening to her, and she could still feel all of her feelings, all of her horrible feelings. It was like a nightmare, like a terrible, terrible nightmare that she couldn't get out of. 

Slowly, the door to her bedroom opened and she felt like she was going to be sick, that feeling just grew when she saw who was actually behind the door. It was none other than Ray Palmer himself.

No. This couldn't be happening. Nope. They'd put him in jail. They'd gotten him arrested. It couldn't have all been a really long, bad dream, could it?

She thought back to her earlier theory about the league being a dream that she had just now awoken from and this just supported her theory more. It was possible she could have slept walked to her door, so that argument was out, and she said she recognized the dress she was wearing so maybe she just went to sleep in her clothes, so that argument was out too. But she still wasn't 100% convinced. 

Felicity looked down at her outfit, trying to work out where she remembered it from, and then back at Ray, trying to make sure was real, and then a strange sense of Deja Vu passed through her making her dizzier than she previously was. "You're mine" Ray growled and that's when it clicked. this had already happened once, it happened in this outfit, with Ray drunk and she knew what came next. He would rape her. She had to find a way out of this fast.

Ray started coming closer to her chanting the same words over and over again "You're mine. You're mine. You're mine". He got closer and closer until he was standing in front of her. Tears were strolling down Felicity's face and she was no longer screaming at herself telling herself to move, she was just screaming inside of her head at the memories assaulting her. But this wasn't real, and those things would happen to her gain because this time she had the control because she knew what was coming and she knew it wasn't real. That was when her feet decided to work again. Just as he was about to grab her she slipped from his arms and ran past him and out of the bedroom. She ran faster than she'd ever ran before until she got to the front door. She swung it open and threw her body outside but she looked around and she was no longer there. 

She hadn't just stepped out to the front of her house, she'd just stepped into the league. except she wasn't there. She wasn't the one being hurt or targeted, it was Oliver. She watched as Rahz and Oliver fought with a sword in their hands. They fought evenly for a while, but then Rahz faulted once and Oliver got the upper hand. He was going to win! At least that's what she thought for the few seconds he actually had the upper hand before Rahz took it from him.

Felicity wasn't within hearing distance but she could tell Rahz said something to Oliver that made him falter so he could take the upper hand, and it was not fun to watch. Felicity cold sees how it affected him, not only that but she saw what no one else but her and Rahz seemed to. He was a better fighter when he had passion and love and someone or something to fight for. When he was closed off and not letting anyone in, Oliver was a worse fighter because he didn't have a reason to fight anymore, and that's why Rahz said whatever he said, because he knew it would affect him like this and make him close off so he could win. Rahz was playing dirty, not that that was surprising, he was the demon's head after all, but it also showed Felicity that Rahz didn't know if he would win unless he did play dirty. 

What happened next was by far the worst thing Felicity had ever witnessed. Rahz took Oliver down and got him on his knees at the cliff edge and stabbed him through the chest. Felicity saw the moment when images of people he'd loved passed through his head as the blood spilled from both his wound and his mouth. For a second Felicity thought he was still alive and that he'd make a miraculous recovery and be fine like he usually did. But this time he didn't. Oliver looked up with shocked eyes until they met hers, "I love you" he mouthed to her before he fell off the edge of the cliff to his definitive death and Rahz smiled in triumph. No one batted an eyelid as they walked past her back inside of the league, it was like she wasn't even there. Then it hit her.

She wasn't really there, this happened already and she most definitely wasn't there to witness it. This is what Oliver had told her and the team about when he'd gotten back after he'd fought Rahz. He'd told them this story whilst looking directly into her eyes, maybe that's why at the end he stared into her eyes, and it would make sense that the reason he mouthed the words "I love you" was because they were the last words he spoke to her before he 'died'. Because otherwise how could he have been the only one to see her? This had to be fake. All of this was fake, a dream or something. Oliver wouldn't tell her anything as heavy as "I love you" after what had happened to her lately with Ray because he knew her and he knew she wouldn't have been able to deal with it. Also when he told her that story she'd already been being abused by Ray, and the last thing she could currently remember was having a dream or Deja Vu about Ray raping her. So what if that wasn't a dream? What if that was another one of whatever these were? After Ray raped her she'd told the team and they'd eventually gotten Ray locked up and she hadn't gone home until that happened. Then when she went home for the first time on her own, she went straight to bed and she remembered some wind. But shouldn't all of her windows and doors be shut? She'd never opened them. Unless... Oh! Right! She was drugged by Rahz and brought to the league. Maybe she was still under the effects of the drugs? But then how did she know that Rahz was the one who drugged her? and how did she know that she had been brought to the league? She wouldn't have known that if she hadn't woken up after being drugged. So what then? 

She must have woken up and Rahz must have done something else to her. Oh yeah! His obsession! Rahz had developed an obsession for Felicity and her "light" whatever that was, and her brains that hadn't been working properly from what she could remember.

Ugh. All of this thinking was giving Felicity a headache and she was almost certain it was the drugs that also played a role in this headache but she ignored the pain and tried to think further into what had happened to her.

She was.... She was... She was taken to a big room with... a hot tub? No that can't be right. A weird demonic hot tub. Wait. That sounded familiar. Maybe Rahz really did have a demonic hot tub. She'd go with it for now and if she was wrong, well then she'd try again but she didn't have any other leads to go with right now. So, from the big room with a hot tub, she went to another room with a chair with wires connected to machines which were, if she remembered correctly, then connected to her and that was when she passed out. She'd got it! 

That was when another sharp pain shot through her head making her cry out. She fell to the ground in pain, holding her head as she cried out. She took deep breaths to control the pain and it eventually started working, but when she stood up once again Rahz was standing in front of her looking angry. They hadn't moved, they were still standing on the cliff that Oliver had just 'died' on, but now Rahz could see her and he definitely wasn't happy. He didn't want her to figure out his games. He wanted to stretch her further. He wanted his answers, but she was determined not to give him any. "You think you've beaten me miss Smoak, but you haven't. This is just the beginning. Look around you, all of these assassins are going to torture you, one by one, but you won't die. I won't let you." Rahz said and she did as she was told and saw at least half of the league standing around waiting to hand her the punishment he apparently deserved. "You see Miss Smoak, there is no way to stop this. I will win. There's nothing you can do about it." He said smirking. "I didn't want to hurt you, but you have left me no choice, and it's not like the scars will actually show up on your real life body anyway. If you do ever get back to it that is". Rahz continued to speak but Felicity was no longer listening.

Rahz said that he wouldn't let his assassins kill her, but what was the point if it was all in her head anyway? Why not let them kill her? Unless it would wake her up. Without turning her head Felicity looked to the point of the cliff where Oliver fell. It wasn't far. If she was quick she could make it. If she could get past Rahz she could win. But she might not get past him and he might punish her. But she'd be going to get tortured if she doesn't try anyway so what had she got to loose? Absolutely nothing.

Lifting her eyes slightly to check he was still talking because she could no longer hear anything but her thoughts in her ears, and she saw that he was. He was getting carried away and that was a good thing for her. She started to count down. 3. She looked towards the cliff. 2. She let a long breath out.1. she breathed another deep breath in.0. She got up off of her knees and ran. She ran straight past Rahz and towards the cliff. Curse her fear of heights, she thought as she looked over the edge and nearly threw up. She quickly turned around and saw the half of the league that was standing near her earlier, were about 5 seconds from reaching her, and Rahz was at the very front of the group. 

Felicity turned back to face the cliff edge. Now or never, she thought. She took a deep breath and jumped just before Rahz's hand reached out to grab her. She didn't wake up straight away and she started to panic. Especially when her headache from earlier got even worse. But then suddenly she was bolting right in the chair, gasping for breath with wide eyes as she clawed all of the wires off of her. She jumped up from the seat only to run into the two assassins who strapped her down in the chair to begin with. Felicity screamed and squirmed in their arms until Rahz told them to let go of her and he grabbed her by the arms and held her tightly and she froze up in his grasp. "It is okay now Miss Smoak, you are out of there, and you weren't in there for nearly as long as I'd thought, and I may not have had all of my questions answered, but I definitely know what we are doing next," Rahz says and she hates the satisfaction she sees in his eyes. "I am going to train you physically." She wasn't expecting it and she wasn't sure she wanted it, but she also wasn't 100% sure that she didn't. She wouldn't be weak anymore and it would be better than possibly ruining her smart brain, but it would be painful and she'd become a completely different person, but it might help her get out of here. 

Then she remembered something Oliver had said to her over the past few weeks "Felicity," He had said "I just want you to know that no matter what happens to you, you will always be Felicity Smoak the bubbly IT girl who changed my life for the better and whom i couldn't live without, because you have a light to you Felicity, a light that will never go away." He had looked deeply into her eyes whilst saying this and she had just had another panic attack. 

Felicity had responded with "What if it does go away? What if I loose that light?" She had sounded so fragile and afraid when she'd asked the question because she was genuinely scared of what his answer would be. She had been afraid that he'd tell her that if that happened she couldn't be a part of the team anymore. 

Instead, he replied by saying "Then I'd help you find it, I'd help put you back together again, and I'd help you to remember who you are." Then he had proceeded to lightly kiss her on the forehead. 

So maybe she could do this, it would help her get out of here and survive this, and if she lost herself on the way Oliver would help her, even if she didn't let him she knew he still would, and he wouldn't back down. "Okay." She told Rahz in a voice gruff from screaming. She stood straighter and Rahz lets go of her arms. 

Rahz had taken her back to her room after that and later brought her dinner. After he'd given her the plate he had sat down on the bottom of her bed. "You truly are spectacular Miss Smoak, I know what happens to you when you break now," He tells her and she looks up at him confused because she doesn't remember breaking, she remembers getting her brain back. "when you break, when you just can't take it anymore and you snap, you mend yourself and you... well, you pretty much regenerate. It's really quite fascinating." Rahz says staring off at the wall behind her. "Anyway," He says his attention shifting back to her as he stands up and makes his way to the door. "Training will start tomorrow same time as I came and got you today, be ready" He didn't give her the chance to reply because he left before she could. 

Felicity ate the rest of her dinner just thinking about everything that had happened today and how emotionally draining it had been, but she also felt like she might have a little piece of herself back in the process.

Later that night whilst she's lying in bed she starts thinking about what she did. Sara wouldn't have done it, Laurel wouldn't have done it and neither would the rest of the team. They would have stayed and fought the league and wouldn't have escaped. What Felicity did was original and strong and even she had to admit it was a little bit badass. She recalled something she'd told Laurel once. "Don't try and be Sara or anyone else's black canary, you have to be yourself, be your own black canary, because I'm sure once you find her, we'll all love her." She had to use her own advice now. She had to be her own kind of hero and stop comparing herself to others. She had to be herself. 

Even though tody was so exhausting for Felicity, by the end of it she felt just a little stronger than she did the previous day and she would hold on to that strength and hopefully it woud get her through the next day and that's all she needed, because she was going to get through this one day at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the Kudos and reviews keep sending in any ideas because I love reading them and writing about them as they are all amazing and keep me inspired. For those of you who want Felicity out of the league ASAP, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I am going to keep her in the league for a bit because there are so many possibilities and ideas surrounding her being in the league that I feel the need to explore. I hope you still continue reading this story, though. I hope this makes sense because I am so tired and a lot of the time my tired work makes no sense so I made sure to use a really good grammar checker app so it wasn't too messed up. I really enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you all enjoy reading it just as much.
> 
> Thank you to @2310 for suggesting the idea of Felicity being trained in the league. Also, thank you @2310 for the idea that she would beat Rahz mentally and both @2310 and @heidi2310 for the idea of him being mesmerized by her. 
> 
> Ps.If I use your idea I will try to give you credit. :)


	13. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity spends another day in the league a bit stronger than before and Rahz starts to train her. Will she be strong enough to train, or will she be completely hopeless at it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the support this story has gotten, I have decided I am going to try and update on the weekends because that's when I have the most time on my hands. This is not me promising to update at least once a week because I might fail to meet that deadline but I am going to try. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Felicity woke up with a start, gasping for air and her hands clenching the sheets. There was no clock in her room but no one had come in yet to wake her up or serve her breakfast so it couldn't be after 6. She was glad to have woken herself up instead of someone else shaking her awake because waking up in the manner she just did was embarrassing if it was done in front of anyone else. Not that that was what was her biggest worry at the minute, but she had to appreciate the small good things that happened because they were what was going to get her through this. 

In the next few minutes, she heard someone unlock her door. It opened to reveal a woman who looked to be in her mid-thirties with short auburn hair that had been cut to her jaw line. The woman's face remained stone cold, not faltering and barely even registering Felicity. The woman had a tray of food in her hands which she placed on the end of Felicity's bed, and draped over her arm were some clothes which she placed next to the tray of food before walking out of the door and locking it behind her. Felicity thought locking the door was kind of stupid in a way. I mean, it's not like she'd even attempt to escape with all of these assassins who work for Rahz out there ready to get her if she tried, and even if she did try it's not like she'd get very far because of said assassins that would get her and possibly punish her. 

Felicity brushed off these unnecessary thoughts and grabbed the tray of food and placed it on her lap. The plate consisted of an egg and some beans. Mostly protein. That was probably to get her in better shape for the training that would go down today. She ate all of her food so she didn't upset Rahz. When she was done she placed her tray back where it previously had been, on the end of her bed, and just sat there for a few minutes waiting for her food to digest.

Then there was a bell that sounded, she knew that meant it was 20past and she was to start getting ready because it was the same bell as yesterday, apart from yesterday there had been a message from Rahz to go with it. 

Felicity got up from the bed, grabbed the clothes, and walked into the weird hidden bathroom. Felicity really didn't see the point in showering if she was going to train and therefore be getting sweaty anyway. But she did shower just in case Rahz got mad at her if she didn't. Felicity didn't wash her hair because she'd already washed it the day before and washing your hair twice in a row was bad for it, and she was determined to come out of this with good hair, she'd already damaged it enough by dying it anyway so she didn't need it damaged any more. 

Felicity had last died her hair two months ago, and it was only a semi-permanent dye, which meant in two months there would be no dye left in her hair and it would be back to its normal color. It's not that she didn't like her normal colour, but it reminded her of who she used to be, it reminded her of her dad leaving, and Cooper dying but then not really dying and coming back to kill her for money and she didn't want to be reminded of any of those things. She didn't like permanent hair dye because it damaged her hair a lot more, and with the semi-permanent one, she could just change the color or the shade of blonde by dying it again without causing as much damage to her hair, or without wasting money because permanent hair dye was more expensive. But again, she didn't need to worry about that now, she still has two months before the dye would be completely gone, nd she'd be out of the league by then, right? either herself or Oliver would have gotten her out of here by then.

Felicity, whilst washing her body, found a razor in the shower. She didn't know why they trusted her with it. She could hurt someone with it, but then again, they're trained assassins and she hadn't even started her training yet, but she could also hurt herself, she could end everything with the blade in this and Rahz would never know all of the answers to his many questions. But she never would do that because she was stronger than that, she was going to go through the physical pain of training and the emotional pain of having her control stripped away from her. Maybe Rahz knew that about her and that's why he'd trusted her with it. Either way, she had it and she would put it to good use. 

After she had shaved and washed her body, she had spent about 15 minutes in the shower so she got out and dried herself with a dry towel that was hanging on the wall. She then got dressed in the new clothes that were just clean versions of the ones she wore yesterday apart from instead of the top it was a tank top, and she put her hair up. She put on the black trainers that had been left for her and started brushing her teeth. She looked in the mirror whilst brushing her teeth and saw something in her eyes that wasn't there yesterday. It was a spark of something. Strength or determination maybe, but there was definitely something there and that something made her feel ready to take on the day.

After she'd finished brushing her teeth she walked back into the main room of her little cell. Well, it wasn't really a cell in the sense that there were bars keeping her from getting out, but she was being trapped in the room, so she counted it as a cell. She walked in to see Rahz just entering the room. That meant she was almost not ready in time which would have resulted in Rahz being angry and no doubt punishing her. She needed to speed up in getting ready if she didn't want to risk that happening. 

"Good morning Miss Smoak, are you ready to do some training?" Rahz asked her, although she knew he would only accept one answer from her and that was a 'yes'. Felicity just nodded her head in an answer which she was glad he accepted. "Follow me," He told her. He didn't grab her arm and drag her like yesterday, he let her walk freely next to her. Not freely in the sense that she didn't have to follow him or that she could go whenever and wherever she wanted, but in the sense that she wasn't being restrained. 

Felicity walked with Rahz until they reached a big room filled with weapons and training equipment. There was no one else in the room and that made Felicity think something weird was happening. In a league full up of thousands of assassins, there was bound to be a few of them training. 

"I booked out the training room so there will be no one else here all day and I can monitor you properly." Rahz said answering her unspoken question. It irked her that he knew what she was thinking without her having to say it. "you will have 9 hours of training today and the same tomorrow and every day after that and there will be no complaining, understood?" Rahz asked her and she quickly nodded in reply. "Good, now let's begin."

The first two hours were working on speed, running, and stamina. Felicity was slim and small so she was quick on her feet anyway but she learned to be quicker. She was to do ten laps of the massive room without stopping, and every time she stopped she'd have to start her laps again. It was difficult and after the first lap she had a stitch and she was close to giving up, but she didn't, she thought about how Rahz had taken all of her control and freedom and how she had managed to beat him mentally. The way she thought about it was the stronger you are mentally the stronger you can be physically and in a fight. The strategies and tactics used in fighting are all mental, and the determination to keep training and keep going is also mental, so she decided she would use her mental talents to make her better physically. That all went away halfway through her third lap when she was considering falling to the ground and begging Rahz not to make her do any more laps, but then she thought about Ray and how he'd managed to beat her and rape her because she was weak and she couldn't fight back, if she managed to complete this then she would be a little closer to getting stronger and being able to defend herself so nothing like that would ever happen to her again. But again, that boost only lasted until her sixth lap. She didn't think she could handle the burning in her legs, in her throat, in her chest, or the dull throbbing in her head any longer. Then she remembered what Oliver told her "You're the strongest person I know Felicity" is what he had said and it had made her feel better about everything that had been going on at the time, not all better but it did help. Oliver thought she could do anything, not because they were his expectations of her, but because he believed in her, and she was just a burden on him. She needed to get stronger so she could get out of here so Oliver didn't have to come and risk his life for her once again.That motivation boost lasted until half way through her eighth lap when she truly couldn't feel her legs anymore. Her lungs were on fire and her head felt like someone was hitting it repeatedly with a bat. She wasn't going to make it and Rahz would make her start again, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to even get this far again. She felt like she was disappointing everyone, Oliver, Digg, Laurel, Roy, Sara from beyond the grave, even Rahz. But she realized that they weren't the people she was most upset for disappointing (especially Rahz), the person she was most upset that she would disappoint was herself, because she needed this, not just to get out of here, not just to stop her from every getting hurt as badly as Ray hurt her again, but so she could stop feeling weak, so she could stop feeling so afraid and so she could eventually get over what has happened to her. That's what motivated her to keep running. 

When Felicity reached the point of where she started on her tenth lap she stopped, her legs felt like they would collapse from under her, her breathing was very loud and fast, her lungs were burning more than ever, and her head felt like it would explode, but she was proud of herself. She'd done it. She'd completed all ten laps and she hadn't stopped once. She could do this. She knew she could. She had a little bit more courage and trust in herself than she'd had yesterday, and despite the circumstances, that made her happy. A small smile grew on her face and she huffed out a laugh in between her pants because she simply couldn't believe that something so silly and small could make her even a little happy and pull her together a bit more. 

Her happy bubble was broken when Rahz started clapping, them big loud spaced out claps that were usually considered to be sarcastic.   
"That's it. That is precisely the reason why I need my league members to have your light, because your light helps you to keep going and keep moving no matter what, also it helps to fix you when you are broken and don't know who you are. It makes you work harder and I need the league to be able to do that because, in this job, you lose yourself often, and it's not fun." Rahz said and Felicity stood straighter and the smile was wiped from her face. Her arms were wrapped around her middle both for protection and because of the massive stitch that was there but slowly fading. "Anyway, let's move on. We've still got an hour and a half on running, speed and stamina."

The next hour and a half had nothing as hard as what she'd just done in it, but it was still far from easy. She remembered to keep chanting in her head the words "You can do this, you need this, you deserve this" and she managed to get through it.

The next three hours were spent on strength, which she found really hard. Felicity had much stronger legs than arms so she found the legs exercises easier and that's probably why Rahz focussed on her arms. He would make her use weights, starting with fairly light ones first and then they would get heavier, for ten minutes and then he'd swap them. If she stopped before the ten minutes were up then she would have to start again. They weren't as hard as running but they were definitely one of the hardest things she'd had to do. There were other exercises for strength as well but they weren't nearly as hard.

For the next two hours after that, she focussed on weapons. She didn't like the staff that much because it was heavy and was hard to keep control of whilst using it, she liked the sword because it was light and agile and she wasn't too bad at it, but she was nowhere near as good as Rahz or any other league members. The knives were her favorite, though, she liked throwing them and her aim was only a little bit off center which surprised both her and Rahz, she also liked just using it as a normal weapon whilst actually fighting which was one of the last things she tried. She wasn't that good at it yet but she enjoyed it and she knew she would get there, it would be hard, but she would do it. Rahz also let her try out the gun. Guns weren't normally used around the league but he let her try it anyway. She flinched every time she heard the gun fire and her aim wasn't great but Rahz said they'd work on it. The gun was her least favourite because she felt like fool whilst doing it and Rahz had stood very close behind her and had his hands on her arms guiding her through some of it and she had to resist the urge to throw up and also to try and shoot him with the gun, preferably the shooting first. She also tried out the bow and arrow which she felt weird doing because this had always been Oliver's weapon. She found the strong hard to draw back and again she felt like an idiot whilst using it, but her aim wasn't as bad as her aim with the gun, but she still didn't understand how Oliver used it to swiftly. She also tried the crossbow which was fun but her aim, although it wasn't terrible, it wasn't good either.

Then for the final two hours, they focussed on normal fighting and techniques. Some techniques she'd seen Digg and Oliver use before whilst they were teaching Roy the basics, so they came easier to her than some others, but she wasn't absolutely hopeless and that gave her even more confidence that she might actually be able to make it through this.

"You're not the most helpless person I've taught to fight" Rahz had said at the end of the nine hours. Felicity was aching everywhere and she just wanted to sleep. Rahz took her back to her room and gave her dinner which she greedily ate before getting under the covers and falling into a dreamless sleep. She realized then why Oliver liked to train until he was too exhausted to continue, because it meant no nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, please leave any ideas you would like to share as they are much appreciated and I love reading through them.


	14. Magic waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity has been gone a month and the team struggle to get her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sorry it took so long to update I was ill again and focussing on my already made story's that didn't need as much time or effort and my computer kept messing around.

Oliver paced the floor of the small cabin near the league the team had found and taken temporary shelter in. His stomach growled but he ignored it, he hadn't eaten since yesterday at around this time (9:00 pm) and that was only a small sandwich which Digg practically forced down him. The truth was Oliver hadn't been in the mood for eating, or anything other than getting Felicity back.

Everyone understood this as they were all desperate to get their little, strong, not so blonde computer whiz back within their mitts, but they still ate. Oliver was obsessed and couldn't think straight.

"Oliver, man you need to calm down, pacing around isn't helping anyone, it's just putting everyone off making it that much harder to think." Digg told him shaking his head whilst looking at his friend in concern.

"No," Oliver growled back. "I can't calm down. Not when Rahz has his filthy hands on her."

"You have to at least eat something." Digg pushed him.

Oliver stopped walking and stared at Digg in horror as if he'd just told Oliver to leave Felicity with Rahz and forget she ever existed. "I don't have time to eat Digg. She has been gone a month. A whole month Digg! Who knows what Rahz has done to her or what he has her doing. I will eat when we have her back!" Oliver shouted and Digg was worried he was going to make the whole cabin shake. Everyone looked up at Oliver shocked. They had gotten used to Oliver's angry outbursts in the past month, but they still got scared every time he raised his voice. They were his friends and team, yes, but when Oliver was angry they didn't know what he would do. Oliver hated people flinching at him, it made him feel like a monster. He couldn't help but think about the only person who had never flinched at one of his outbursts. Felicity. She was never scared of him and he had no idea why or how she had such blind faith that he wouldn't hurt her, but he was beyond grateful for it now, too bad he'd never recognized this in the past. He had taken it for granted, so he made a mental note to tell her just how much that little thing meant to him when they got her back safely.

It wasn't like they had just been holed up in the cabin the whole time since Felicity was taken. They had tried to get them back but each time they tried to sneak in and put a plan in place they were found and promptly shot at. Luckily no one had gotten shot yet but these plans were hard to think up and each of them quite literally got shot down. They were wasting time. Time they didn't have. The assassins were good and didn't let anything past them and it sucked because you could pretty much guarantee anyone who had been fully trained by Rahz would be able to kick anyone of their asses on their own, so a whole army of them could definitely beat them all.

Oliver was falling apart, so was everyone else, but Oliver was worse than anyone had ever seen him. Digg remembered Oliver from when he first came back from the island and how unravelled he was then, this Oliver was even worse than that. He couldn't even think straight. He won't eat or sleep or do anything other than thinking about ways to get Felicity back and kill Rahz.

Everyone understood that Oliver was so torn up over this, but it angered Digg that he was acting like none of the others cared, and that they weren't hurting too. “You don't think I know that?” Digg yelled at Oliver who was taken slightly aback by this. “You don't think I know it's been a whole month since she's been taken? Because believe me Oliver I know and I am hurting just as much as you are. That girl is like a little sister to me, Oliver, so you don't get to be the only one in pain about this okay? I know you don't want to eat or sleep or anything until Felicity is back but we don't have a choice. What good do you think running in there tired, hungry, and weak is going to do? It's going to get us all killed Oliver and it's not going to help Felicity in the slightest! So suck it up like the rest of us!” Digg shouted, letting loose all of the emotions he'd been keeping pent up for the past few weeks. Oliver had a special relationship with Felicity and everyone including Digg knew that, but they all had relationships with her too. Felicity was Digg and Roy's sister and Laurel's friend so they were hurting too; they just didn't voice it as much as Oliver did. They slept and ate so they had enough energy and brain power to help Felicity and they stayed focussed and on task, whereas Oliver wouldn't sleep or eat and would pace the room irritating them so they couldn't work. If that was all that he was doing they probably could have put up with it, but it was the incessant shouting about how Felicity was gone and how he was always acting like he was the only one affected by this that drove them mad. Oliver would yell about how he needed Felicity back and they wouldn't say anything because they saw he was only hanging on by a thread and they were scared that if they yelled at him back then that thread would be severed and they'd have lost both of their friends. So yeah, Diggle and everyone else was feeling just a little irritated and Digg just couldn't stop from telling his friend the cold hard truth.

Usually Oliver seemed so good at containing his emotions when something bad happened but that was just an act. He would always flip out and burst with emotion in the end and he would start to doubt himself and everything around him, but Felicity would always help him with that and calm him down; she wasn't there to do that this time and Oliver was loosing it.

Oliver took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut, turning to face the opposite direction from where the team were currently staring at him. He tried to hear her voice. That had been the only thing stopping him from turning in to a complete mad person, hearing her voice in his head telling him everything would be okay, that she was okay, that he'd find her and that he'd get her back to him because he always did. Felicity had such blind faith in him and that had always astounded him because why would anyone have faith in him? Oliver Queen playboy turned Arrow who's killed people and done so many other bad things, but Felicity, who carried a light brighter than any he'd ever seen even when in pain, chose to see the good in him, she saw what he was capable of and yet she still didn't expect anything more from him than what he gave. That was something he'd loved about her from the very start.

 

Oliver took a deep calming breath in and turned back around to face the team. “Sorry,” Oliver apologised. “What's our next plan?” He asked getting back to what was important – getting Felicity back.

Felicity was awoke at 6am and had her breakfast a member of the league brought in. She then went to the bathroom and got dressed and ready for the day. For the past four weeks she's been training non-stop, getting better and stronger and faster. She excelled fast in her learning, she always had, this wasn't any different. She listened and paid attention and did as she was told, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world. She was aware of how long she'd been here. Rhaz would remind her of every day that passed so she knew for how long she'd been left here, abandoned by her team.

She didn't resent them for abandoning her, in fact she was glad. They wouldn't have to deal with her drama any more and they would have just been walking in to a death trap had they came to save her, so she was glad they hadn't. She was glad that, for once, they had their heads on straight. That they'd finally realised she was worthless.

Every week Rahz would do another test on her mental abilities; that was the worst. It was worse than all of the bruises, pains and aches she got from training, it was worse than the feeling of abandonment, it was worse than being trapped here in this stupid league, and sometimes, it was even worse than rape.  
Felicity no longer had her bright blonde hair, the dye had long since left her hair leaving her with her natural dark brown chocolatey colour. She didn't die her har because she hated the colour, but because she needed a new start. At first she died it black because she wanted to cut all memories of the Felicity who was abandoned by both her father and her mother, even if her mother never really left, then it was to forget about the person she was with Couper, the one who got Cooper sent to jail and to 'kill himself'. Now seemed as good a time as any to go back to the girl with chocolate hair, who was constantly being abandoned by those she loved. It wasn't like she had a choice anyway. They didn't exactly sell hair dye here as appearance was not a priority by any means, learning to fight and defend yourself was.

Felicity was collected by Rahz at normal time and they went in to the training room and trained hard. He trained her until she was dripping with sweat. That was when he decided she was ready.

She'd battled other league embers before, in fact she did that most days, but what she hadn't yet had the chance to do was fight Rahz Al Ghul himself. When he told her that was what was going to happen she was shocked, yet she didn't even bat an eyelid. She just grabbed a sword and stood in position.

The fight started fairly slow. Felicity was hesitant because she knew how much of a skilled and powerful man Rahz was. She didn't want him to hurt her any more than he already had. Eventually the fight kicked off with her making a jab at him. She knew patience was a good thing to have in a fight but she couldn't just stand there thinking. Thinking about what he was thinking, what he was planning on doing to her next, why he suddenly decided he wanted to fight her, and what she was going to do. So she just made her move. It was fast and was easily blocked but it started off the fight.

Felicity struggled to keep up with Rahz, after all, she'd only had a month of training, but she managed to hold her own well. She didn't manage to beat him, she got tired and he'd managed to knock her sword from her hands and she'd given up. If that were a real fight she would have kept going and fighting and wouldn't have given in but she was just so tired and honestly? There was a part of her that thought maybe he would finish her off and kill her and she could be free from this miserable thing called life. But he didn't. He just froze with the end of the blade touching her bare stomach after slicing open her tank top, but without grazing the creamy skin underneath.

Felicity wondered what could possibly have the demons head so shocked, but when she looked down she remembered before her eyes even came in to contact with it. The branding. The burn mark. Whatever you wanted to call it. Rahz had laid eyes on it for the first time and she'd been surprised she'd managed to hide it that long.

Rahz wasn't angry because Ray ruined Felicity's skin or because he'd hurt her. No, he was angry because Felicity wasn't Ray's possession, she was his.

He clenched his jaw and put his sword back in his little pouch before grabbing Felicity's arm hard. He took her in to his 'throne room' with the big demonic hot tub that Felicity had heard a little something about. Apparently Rahz used it to heal him and to help him stay healthy. She didn't know if she quite believed in there rumours yet, little did she know she was about to find out just how well these magic waters worked.

 

Malcolm walked in through the wooden door and stopped in front of the team. “Any news?” Digg asked the ex-assassin. Malcolm was the only one who could get in and out of the league un-detected because not only did he own a league outfit that could make him seem inconspicuous, but he had training from Rahz Al Ghul himself and had been a part of the league before so he knew his way around. Having Malcolm go in there and get Felicity out was one of their plans but it was deemed unhelpful when they realised people would start to notice him if he were dragging out Felicity, that Felicity would actually have to trust that Malcolm was with them, that Felicity would have to have no cameras on her and be alone, that Felicity would have to not have had her mind being controlled like some of Rhaz's other victims and even some league members were, that Malcolm could be trusted, that he'd have to be able to fight everyone, that he might even have to be able to fight Rahz, and that- because Malcolm probably couldn't kill Rahz and definitely couldn't face the entire league on his own- Rahz would be after all of them with the league so they would have to stay hiding or it would just happen again. So as you can see, it was not a great plan. But Malcolm still snuck in to see if he would find any simple ways for them to get in and out without detection and to check up on Felicity from afar.

Malcolm hadn't seen anything Rahz had been making Felicity do, he tried to find her and check up on her but he never could, instead he asked Nyssa (their other secret assassin on the inside helping them to get Felicity back).

“Nothing new on ways in, and apparently Miss Smoak is still okay but according to Nyssa she'd starting to loose hope that you'll come to get her.” Malcolm said solemnly facing Oliver. He was a horrible man who had done a hell of a lot of terrible unforgivable things, but he knew what it was like to loose the one he loved.

Oliver sucked in a harsh breath and the rest of the team looked at the ground in sorrow. “We have to get her soon, this can't wait any longer. If she looses hope she'll lose her fight and she wont survive this. She has been through so much and I can't let Rahz destroy her any more than he has. If he takes away her hope, he takes away who she is. We can't lose her.” Oliver growled, trying to make him not sound as hurt and emotional as he was feeling, but his voice breaking at the end gave him away anyway.

Everyone nodded in agreement. “I wish we had someone invisible, that would help a lot.” Laurel said. It wasn't really a joke, but she wasn't being serious either. I mean, an invisible man? Come on.

“Yeah, someone who could get in and out undetected, with like superpowers and stuff.” Roy said humouring her dryly.

Oliver and Digg's heads both snapped up at this and they looked at each other knowing they both had the same idea. “Barry” They both said eyes wide whilst Oliver scrambled for his phone inside his Jean pockets.

As Oliver pressed 'dial' on Barry's contact he wondered why they didn't think of this sooner. They're brains were so jumbled and none of them were thinking straight but Barry was such an obvious solution that they should have seen it sooner. He probably wouldn't be able to beat Rahz but he would be a great asset for getting people in and out quickly and undetected.

“Oliver, what's up?” Barry asked in a tired voice and Oliver remembered it was only about 7am and it was a Saturday.

“We need your help. Usually I wouldn't ask but it's not for me.” He told the speedster.

Barry seemed to think this over for a second before launching in with questions. “What's wrong? What happened? Who's hurt? Is it Felicity? Is she okay?” Barry had spoken to Felicity on the phone after what happened with Ray and she'd assured him she'd be okay. That didn't stop him from speeding to the foundry to see her and bringing her Chinese take out on the way. Barry knew Felicity wasn't okay no matter how many times she said she was, but he didn't pressure her about it and didn't ask any more. If she'd had some kind of mental breakdown because no one asked her what was wrong enough or because no ne was there for her Barry wouldn't be able to handle the guilt that he knew would fall upon hs shoulders.

Oliver paused for a minuet, thinking of how to answer his question without worrying the younger man. “It's Rahz and the League, they've done something. Could you please just get down here? I'll text you the address. Bring Cisco and Caitlin too, we could really use their brains on this one.” Oliver told him. Barry agreed to meet him with both Caitlin and Cisco and Oliver hung up the phone and text him the address.

About ten minuets later there was a flash of red and then suddenly Barry, Cisco, and Caitlin were standing in front of the team. Caitlin was patting down her hair and Cisco was fighting off throwing up whilst Barry stood there and apologised to the two. Laurel stood with her mouth agape, shocked at what she'd just seen. They knew the flash. Team arrow were friends with the flash and Laurel couldn't believe it. Digg sat and shook his head at the speedster, still wary of him and his unnatural abilities. Oliver looked relieved as he saw them because he knew they were going to help him get his Felicity back.

Barry looked around the room. He knew the names of all of these people even if they didn't all know him. He was dressed in his Flash outfit too so there was no giving away his secret identity, Cailtin had suggested it would be a good idea just in case Oliver had teamed up with others who were less trustworthy than Oliver's team. Barry saw Oliver first, then Digg, followed by Laurel, Roy, and then Malcolm. That's when Barry froze.

Once he'd gotten that call from Oliver about needing help he'd had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that it was about Felicity. He could tell by the way Oliver didn't answer his question about her earlier, but this was the conformation he dreaded but needed.

“Please tell me Felicity's in one of those rooms sleeping and that she's not the reason you guys need help.” Barry said, but he already knew the answer. The team looked down t their feet and Digg solemnly shook his head. Barry swallowed hard and Caitlin sighed.

Caitlin had also come to Starling when Felicity was hurt by Ray. She'd stayed in a hotel near by for a few days just because Felicity needed another close girl friend there for her. Cisco had held up the fort in Central city whilst she was gone.

Even though both Caitlin and Barry were in Starling for a bit and Laurel had inevitably met them, she did not know Barry was the flash, she just thought he was a contact or something who knew about Oliver being the Arrow.

“Okay, so, what's the plan?” Cisco asked bringing the attention back to the reason they were here in the first place.

Everyone worked together, tensions were rising but they all pulled through because at the end of the day they were all friends – well, apart from Malcolm Merlyn, yeah, he was more like an acquaintance, a helpful acquaintance – and they all wanted to help get Felicity back to them in one piece.

Nyssa wanted to leave the league and help the team with their planning to rescue the no-longer-blonde, tech genius, and skilful fighter in the making, but she knew every time she left her father sent assassins to watch her and she would just give away the teams location and possibly their plans to get Felicity back.

 

Felicity had been confused when he showed her the hot tub. He told her she was to get in it but she had just stood there, still and unmoving, she didn't understand why he would want her to get in to his demonic hot tub or what this had to do with the branding mark on her hip.

Rahz had asked her three more times to get in, to which she'd had the same reaction, and he'd eventually got so frustrated with her that he whispered something that sounded like “Fine, we'll do it the hard way then” Before knocking her out by hitting her in the temple with the handle of his sword.

Rahz then called in his most trusted league members to help him and they tied her up to the ropes. There were two league members on each of the four ropes and Rahz stood in front, watching and directing them. Rahz instructed them to slowly drop her in to the water whilst they all chanted the ritual to this process.

 

Felicity awoke, coughing up lungs full of water. She felt frustrated, scared, powerful, new, reborn, and angry at the same time. She looked down to her confined wrists and ankles and ripped the ropes off of her. Felicity jumped from the 'demonic hot tub' and gracefully landed on the ground without making so much as a tiny thud.

Felicity looked around at the mostly unfamiliar faces of the league members before her. Some looked worried, others looked scared, and the rest just looked emotionless. She was breathing hard, fast, and heavy and she couldn't seem to control her emotions. Then she looked at Rahz who was walking towards her.

She knew, even in this state, that she could not take him in a fight, but when he kept stepping closer to her and lifted her tank top to reveal her hip, she thought about trying. That's when she remembered what was happening. They'd been training and he'd seen the mark Ray had left on her. He'd gotten all possessive and taken her to the tub and…

She looked down to where her hip was currently revealed for all to see, and she saw nothing. Nothing but her clear, creamy skin was there to see. In shock and dis-belief she lifted the other side of her tank top to look at her other hip just to double check she'd gotten the right one and it was just as clear.

Her breath got caught in her throat. She was glad to be free of the marks Ray had left on her, but she would definitely not thank Rahz for doing it. He didn't do it to help her, he did it because to him she was, again, just another possession and she didn't want to be. But maybe that's all she was. Maybe that's all she is worth? Being controlled? Never getting a say in anything? Maybe that was her destiny. I mean, it had happened twice now. Maybe it was a sign to stop trying and just give up. And she was definitely giving up.

She'd lost hope in her team coming for her and she'd just about lost hope in herself. She'd nearly lost her sanity. She would have if not for Nyssa. She'd often deliver Felicity her dinner and sometimes her breakfast and they'd chat whilst she ate. They weren't particularly close but Nyssa told Felicity what she could about why she was with Rahz. But Nyssa knew Felicity had cameras on her, and so did Felicity, so she couldn't say too much. Nyssa had told her that she didn't want to help Rahz hurt and capture Felicity but she didn't have a choice as 'being a part of the league was an obligation, it came before anything else', but Felicity had known that meant 'I have to do as he says or I die' and so Felicity forgave the assassin and they started to form a somewhat normal bod. Well as normal as anything in here can get.

Rahz took another look at Felicity's face and she saw pride flash through his eyes. Not pride at her, pride at himself for creating such a flawless thing.

Felicity felt drained but tat didn't stop Rahz from making her train, and despite her fatigue, she actually felt like her punches were quicker and stronger than before and figured that was an effect of the demonic magic healing hot-tub thing that she still hadn't been given the name for yet.

When Felicity was finally sent back to her room someone else delivered her food and Felicity ate the whole thing before lying down in the bed. Despite her exhaustion her emotions and her mind were still running wild and so she found it hard to relax and sleep. That's when her hand reached for the scar on her shoulder which she always liked to run her finger over to relax her, and found it wasn't there. Of course it wasn't. Rahz had removes the scars from her body and for that she was happier, but the one scar she was proud of, the one she'd got from protecting Sara, it was gone too. She not only viewed it as her first real act of bravery and strength, but it was her connection to the team and her connection to herself. Now she was scared she would loose her memory of Roy, Laurel, Sara, and even Oliver, but she was also scare she would loose the memory of herself, which was already fading fast, because the team was such a big part of who she is-was that she didn't know if she would know who she would without it. She had no fight left in her, of that she was almost certain. If she didn't get out of here soon, and she was sure she wouldn't, she was going to loose everything and give in. She would be whatever Rahz wanted her to be because she wouldn't be able to fight any more.

She just wasn't strong enough...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it please leave any suggestions and check out my other two Olicity works if you want, (Felicitys story and Olicity oneshots)


	15. To give up or not to give up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity struggles with her life in the league as she is stripped of everything including both her sanity and her identity.
> 
> Oliver struggles with trying and failing in getting Felicity back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fairly short chapter but I needed a filler before what comes next. Hope you like it.

Felicity darted up in bed after a particularly bad nightmare. Still breathing heavily her head snapped up to the slight movement in her room to see a stony faced member of the league standing to the side of her bed with the tray of food in his arms. His name was Alhisan al'aswad, well, that was his league name anyway, no one told anyone their real name around here. The only people's names she knew was Nyssa and Rahz but she was sure almost everyone in the league knew her's.

The league member's name meant 'dark horse'; Felicity didn't know why that was his name, it was admittedly a bit weird, but she assumed there was some kind of story behind it. Everyone's league name had a story behind it. Including her's.

Felicity was handed her breakfast and the league member walked out without another word. Felicity sighed before eating her breakfast and completing her morning routine. She hated that it was now a routine for her. Being here had become a new normal and everyday she was just going through the motions, nothing really changing. The last thing that had been at all different was when she was put in the Lazarus pit – they'd told her the name of it shortly after – and that was two weeks ago already.

By the time Felicity was ready Rahz had just walked in to collect her and take her to training. There were no words exchanged between the two as Rahz led her out of the room and down the hall to the training mats where they started to train.

Felicity was being lazy and she knew it, but she couldn't help it. She felt drained, not physically but mentally, emotionally drained. She was just so tired. At first Felicity would have done anything to get home, would have fought so hard to get out and back to her team. But now she was just so damn tired of this, tired of fighting. Why should she fight if she was just going to end up in another horrible position all over again. That's what happened with Ray, Felicity fought back with him and look where that got her: Trapped once again with the leader of a league full of assassins. Even if she did know how to fight this, Felicity didn't know if she'd have the effort to try. 

“Dukhan, what do you call this? You are meant to be fighting, not catching up on missed hours of sleep!” Rahz yelled at her, using her league name which he had given her after the Lazarus pit. Rahz had told Felicity she had been gifted with a shiny new slate and would now be considered a member of the league. That meant she needed a new identity, a new name. 

'Dukhan' meant 'Smoke', Rahz had decided it was appropriate since her last name was 'Smoak'. If there was one thing Felicity had always liked about herself – even after her dad left her, and even after Ray abused her and told her how worthless she was, even after Rahz had kidnapped her and taken her from everyone she cared about – it was her name. The name 'Felicity' was unique and made her feel special. Not only that but the name itself meant 'Happiness' and that was always nice. Oliver had always commented on how she was the 'light' and 'happiness' of the team, and even Rahz had agreed with that, but even if she didn't agree with that particular statement every time she heard her name it made her think of Oliver and the team and how they loved her 'happiness'. Her name made her feel proud. 

Rahz had taken her from her friends, from society, he had taken away her innocents and purity, he had taken away the one scar she was proud of, he had taken away a hell of a lot of her sanity, and at least a bit of this so called 'light' she carried around with her, and now she'd taken away the one thing about herself that still made her feel proud and still reminded her of happier times back home. 

Rahz is still watching in awe at her every movement and every time she completed one of his mental challenges. But he did often get frustrated when she held back or wasn't doing everything to her full potential because he thought he owned her and so she should be giving him everything she had. Like right now when he knew she wasn't fighting to her full potential.

“Sorry Rahz Al Ghul.” Felicity replied, forcing herself to fight harder, stronger, with more purpose. 

Since being in the Lazarus pit Felicity had moved on to fighting Rahz as her training. She'd fight with him in hand-to-hand combat, or weaponry. Whilst using weapons that she could not fire or use against Rahz she would use targets to practice on. 

Felicity had to admit it was hard not to fire a gun or crossbow or any other weapon at Rahz. But she knew he'd either catch the arrow or knife mid-air, or he would get hit but wouldn't die, or he would get hit and he would die but then the league would come after her and she would be in even more danger than she is now.

Felicity was smart and knew she had to resist getting revenge on a man who'd repeatedly tortured her mentally and who'd nearly succeeded in killing Oliver. It was hard, but she managed it. She had to stay civil with him. 

 

“Arrrrgghhh” Oliver let out a loud, frustrated groan as he slammed his hand in to the wall, creating a dent in the delicate wooden cabin. 

“I know it's not nice to hear but I-” Malcolm is cut off by Oliver's deadly glare slicing in to him. 

Oliver wasn't just angry, he was fuming. “No you don't! You don't know anything about what I'm feeling!” He growled. “You don't even care for her! You don't know her! You don't know what it's like to hear what she's going through but still not know anything about it!” Oliver screamed getting closer to Malcolm with each word. 

Oliver couldn't bring himself to even think of Felicity's name any more, let alone say it, it made him think of her too much and he couldn't deal with the memories that would haunt him, couldn't deal with the guilt that would fall even harder than it already had, couldn't deal with the nightmares about Felicity being hurt and tortured that would follow, couldn't deal with the burst of emotion her name would bring. 

Oliver was a time bomb just waiting to go off and everyone knew it. They didn't want to push him. Digg had done it two weeks ago and it had worked, but he wouldn't dare do it again, he was far too worked up for that now, he would loose it. Digg was too afraid to snap Oliver out of this mood, he wasn't getting in the way of anyone's work on getting Felicity out of there, and he was both sleeping (as much as he usually does anyway) and eating and Digg had his own problems. As much as Digg cared about Oliver and calming him, Digg wasn't calm himself, he didn't have the mental capacity to take on Oliver problems as well as his own. 

Laurel knew there was something between Oliver and Felicity before she went missing but she knew she couldn't do anything to help. Ex-girlfriend trying to comfort Oliver about the 'missing' status of his new girl- well not girlfriend, they'd never really labelled their strange relationship but either way it would be very awkward and not helpful for Laurel to try and help, if anything it would look like Laurel was trying to sneak her way back in to Oliver's heart whilst he was vulnerable.

Roy was afraid of stepping up and Oliver beating him down, quite literally, and hurting him. He didn't need a beat down from Oliver just before they were about to go and try to save Felicity. He needed to be in top condition. It wasn't his place anyway.

Caitlin and Cisco both knew it wasn't their place to say anything. They didn't know Oliver as well as they knew Felicity and they definitely weren't close enough to him to give him advice on grief. 

Barry wanted to help, but just like Digg he was hurting too, and although he knew a thing or two about grief and was close enough to Oliver to give him advice, he wouldn't understand this feeling. Oliver had lost so many people he cared about if he lost any more, especially Felicity, he would not get through it. Barry hadn't been through as much as Oliver and he was too afraid of causing Oliver to snap to try and help hi. So instead he just focussed on planning how to get Felicity back.

Malcolm did understand the loss of a loved one, he'd lost his wife many years ago and had taken it out on everyone else, including his own son. But Malcolm didn't understand this torture of not knowing. Oliver would get small horrible details of what was going on with Felicity, just enough to make him mad about what was happening to her, but not enough to really know anything and that made him hurt, feel helpless, and feel frustrated.

Even though Malcolm would never truly understand what Oliver was going through, he was the only one who wasn't afraid to yell at Oliver, he had been holding back for the past six weeks because everyone had told him to, but he couldn't just let Oliver turn in to a ghost of the man he used to be, full of anger and frustration, taking it out on everyone and everything around him. Malcolm couldn't let Oliver turn in to him. In some weird and twisted way Oliver had always been like a son to Malcolm, he'd already failed one son, he couldn't fail this one.

“No, I don't understand what you're going through.” Malcolm admitted making Oliver slightly relax his deadly glare in confusion and feeling slightly apprehensive at what the former assassins next move was. “I may never understand what you are going through. You have very little idea of what Miss Smoak is going through. But I will tell you one thing that everyone knows.” Malcolm pauses before continuing, making everyone turn their heads towards him, intrigued to what he was going to say. “That girl is going through hell, whether Rahz is doing anything to her or not. Miss Smoak is going to need you when we get her out of there because no one can go through that unscratched. She is going to need you Oliver and no one else. No matter what has happened to you Miss Smoak has always had your back and been there, staying calm because you needed her to be calm so that she could help you, now you need to be doing that for her. Okay? Not for you, for Digg, for the fast man, or for me, but for her.” Malcolm paused one more time whilst letting the words sink in to Oliver before continuing. “and Oliver, I may never understand exactly what you're going through,” Malcolm repeated. “But I have lost the woman I love before and everyone watched as it drive me insane. I was no help to anyone, Tommy needed me and I wasn't there. You have to be there for her. You have to be there for Felicity because you love each other, and that unwavering love is what's going to get you both through all of this.” Malcolm finished using Felicity's real name for the first time instead of referring to her as 'Miss Smoak'.

Oliver didn't even try and deny that he was in love with Felicity, he wasn't even affected by his saying so, but he was – along with everyone else in the room – shocked at the sincerity, kindness, and genuinely helpful advice that Malcolm, the man they'd all known to be a ruthless, heartless, cold blooded killer, had given.

Oliver didn't reply to the man. He just breathed a deep breath in and out of his nose before walking outside on to the snowy hill. He needed to calm down and he knew it. Malcolm was right: Felicity was always being level-headed and was always there for him when he needed her to be, so he had to be that for her. Oliver needed to get Felicity out of there. He needed to be calm to do that.

Oliver walked for a while. Part of him was screaming at himself. 'What are you doing? You need to be back there helping them find her! You're being selfish! Get back to the team!' But he knew he couldn't listen to that side of him. Oliver needed to calm down before he went back otherwise he'd act on impulse, without thinking anything through, and he'd would be no help to Felicity at all.

Oliver hadn't even really known why he had reacted like he did, that was how he knew he definitely needed to calm down. Malcolm had come in and told everyone that Felicity had been even less like herself today, with less spunk and less hope than before. He had then gone on to tell them how Nyssa had gotten Felicity to admit to wanting to give up, that she didn't care at all any more, but Nyssa had managed to convince her to hang on for a little longer at the very least but without knowing that she was still cared for and loved, no one knew how long Felicity would last.

That's what frustrated him the most: The fact that Felicity was emotionally, mentally and physically drained, that they knew she was suffering, but they had no idea what was really happening to her. 

Nyssa wouldn't tell Malcolm about the training or the mental tests for a number of reasons. The first one being that it was Felicity's secret to tell and she knew Malcolm would just go back and tell Oliver. Oliver needed to understand that, much like Oliver with the island, Felicity might not want them knowing everything that was happening to her. That's why Nyssa would only tell them about Felicity's current mental state, so they knew that she needed them and how close she was to giving up so they could get their vigilante asses up in there and save her. The second reason being that she was slightly afraid – although she'd never show or admit it – that someone would find out that she'd told the team about Felicity and that she would be punished for it. Telling them a little bout Felicity would mean less of a punishment but telling them everything, revealing all of Rahz' hard work and plans would mean a punishment of the highest order. Maybe even death.

After an hour or so of walking Oliver made his way back to the cabin to talk to everyone about a new plan.

Their previous plans with Barry hadn't worked because he couldn't take everyone on by himself, despite his speed he was only one person and this was a whole league full of assassins which meant that he would need to go through all of them and get Felicity out before a league member called for help. There was also the problem of Barry not knowing what anyone looked like. He'd never seen Rahz or Nyssa before so how would he know who to hurt and who to spare? Also Barry wouldn't kill and Rahz would need to be killed but if he brought him out to the cabin he might get away and then their location would be revealed. Barry couldn't sneak everyone in at once and as soon as he'd leave the first two people he'd brought over alone, they'd be targeted by the league and would have to get out. 

It was all way too complicated. Rahz had a lot of tricks up his sleeve. Oliver hated to admit it but Rahz was a smart man, it was difficult to stay one step ahead of him, which is what they would have to do in order to save Felicity.

 

Nyssa brought Felicity her dinner that night. Felicity ate every bit of it slowly, savouring it, whilst talking to Nyssa about stupid mundane things. Felicity was glad to have Nyssa to talk to. Even if she couldn't help get her out, it was still nice to have someone to talk to.

Felicity went to sleep that night dreaming of what could have happened to Oliver or Digg or the rest of the team whilst she was gone. What if Rahz had killed them already and not told her? What if Rahz has them locked in a room too? It was a bad dream, but not even nearly the worst she'd had since she'd been here. Or even since Ray raped her.

Somehow Felicity thought that maybe this was the worst of it. Maybe this was her life now and she just had to get on with it. She was naive to think like that. It wasn't her fault though, she didn't know what Rahz was planning. How could she? If he told her she definitely would have fired them weapons at him today, no matter the cost. 

If only Felicity knew she was about to be tied down once again against her will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the reviews and kudos on this story, please leave any other suggestions any of you have. I just want to know whether you think (If Rahz makes Felicity marry him) if the team should try and save her beforehand and then get captured and forced to watch her marry and act all in love with Rahz, or whether they should just get married and Oliver and the team should try and save her later on and find out they're married then. Also, I am aware I have been spelling Rahz' name wrong but it's too far along in the story to change it now so whatever; if it's really annoying anyone that much I will change it but for now it stays.


	16. I do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rahz has a big surprise ini store for Felicity. Nyssa worries about Felicity's mental state and struggles with what to reveal to the team about what's happening with Felicity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Felicity's battle chapter 16

Felicity woke up the following morning and repeated all of the steps she usually followed until she was dressed in her black tank top and leggings. Felicity was just about to start putting her hair up when she saw the door start to open, she started to worry that maybe she was late and so Rahz might be here to punish her, but when Nyssa's body stepped out from behind the door and in to the room Felicity's confusion only grew. 

Rahz was always the one to collect Felicity from her room as he didn't trust the other league members to do it, he didn't trust them with a diamond so bright, afraid they would take it for themselves. 

Looking at Nyssa she saw regret and sorrow in her eyes, something was wrong and Felicity knew it. Felicity knew better than to ask Nyssa what was going on; If Nyssa was ordered to tell then she would, if not Nyssa wouldn't be able to tell Felicity anything anyway, not with the cameras watching them.

“Dukhan, you are to leave your hair and follow me.” Nyssa ordered. Felicity bit down on her tongue to keep her from asking questions, instead she put down her brush and walked over to where Nyssa was standing. Felicity felt confused and scared about what was happening, but neither of these emotions showed on her stony cold face which she'd adapted to make it seem like she fit in here. If she showed her emotions people would think she was weak and an easy target and that would get her nowhere.

Felicity didn't speak as Nyssa led her out of her room and down a corridor she hadn't yet had the chance to view and in to another room. 

This room was just as plain as all the rest, shades of brown and blacks covered the walls, enveloping in in darkness. The whole league was covered in this darkness, all corridors and rooms lit only by torches. That's why it took a moment for her eyes to adjust and focus on the bright white dress hung up on far wall next to a white dresser stocked with make-up and hair products. 

At this sight Felicity's dread and confusion grew heaps bigger than they were before. She didn't yet truly understand what was going on, but she had grasped the idea that whatever this was, it was not in the slightest bit good. 

“Sit.” Nyssa ordered again, gesturing to the creamy white chair that was purposely placed in front of the dresser. With only the slightest bit of hesitation Felicity followed her orders, sitting down in the uncomfortable wooden chair, keeping her back straight as she had been taught. Felicity's eyes swept over the dresser seeing make-up laid out over it – expensive and all in her shade – along with make-up brushes of every variety. All of this was followed by a hair curler, hair straitner, hair spray, heat protector, hair dryer, and a spray to make your hair nice, shiny, and voluminous. 

It was then that she noticed the other three assassins in the room; two women and one a man. Felicity just sat there, trying not to flinch, as the two women started with her hair. Right now she just assumed there was some special occasion which Rahz wanted to show her off at and she needed to be looking her best for it. Felicity stared at herself in the reflection of the mirror having nowhere else to place her gaze. The two women's stony faces stayed in place even as they fussed about with her hair. They asked Nyssa for advice on what she thought her father would want her hair to look like – Straight or Curly?. They decided on wavy.

Within the next half an hour Felicity had a full head of wavy hair that she herself had to admit looked beautiful, but they weren't done. They then got a sparkling silver clip and gathered her bangs and pinned them up with it. Then the spray was spritzed all over her hair making it slightly more shiny and voluminous. Finally they were done, but only with her hair. 

The male assassin who had been standing behind her, only offering his opinion until now, spun her around in her chair so she was facing them and started on her make-up. 

He gave her foundation, concealer, powder, highlight, blush, and eye-shadow. Then one of the two female assassins did some bright red lipstick, black winged eye-liner, curled her lashes, and added some mascara. When Felicity was finally spun back around again she had to hold back a gasp of shock. She didn't look too much different but the make-up highlighted her – in other peoples' opinion's – beautiful features. Felicity looked radiant and sparkly, exactly how Rahz wanted her. 

Felicity was only given a minuet to look at herself before the two female assassins pulled her up on to her feet and shoved the dress in to her arms. “Go get changed” One of them demanded in a scary monotone voice.

Felicity didn't argue. She was led in to a changing room by Nyssa who whispered what Felicity was sure to have been a small apology before leaving her there. 

Undoing the bag that held the dress Felicity held her breath. Before now she hadn't even considered the possibility that Rahz would… That he would make her…

She couldn't even think of it now. 

But seeing the delicate, patterned, white fabric through the bag she realised this might be more than just an event to show her off. That it could be a wed- No. She wouldn't think of it until she was sure.

Once the bag was unzipped Felicity closed her eyes and blindly removed the dress from the bag. She felt the dress unravel from the bag in to it's full form. Felicity squeezed her eyes tighter together. 'It going to be okay, he wouldn't have done this' She internally told herself, trying to stay calm before opening her eyes.

Felicity's held breath came out in a rush as she saw the floor-length white, soft fabric gown decorated with delicate silver designs. 'no' she told herself. 'No this is a mistake'. 'Maybe this was just a gown, nothing more.' Felicity tried to convince herself, but even she knew it was a weak argument. 

When a lace veil fell from the bag which she was still holding in her other hand she could no longer try and deceive herself. Felicity found her air trapped in her throat. She couldn't breath. Couldn't scream. Couldn't speak. She was suffocating. 

Looking up at the full length mirror standing in front of her she saw a little scared, weak girl pretending to be something she's not, playing dress-up in her mother's closet and make-up bag. This couldn't be happening. A few months ago she had had a fairly normal life, working with the arrow meant your life was never truly normal but her life was as normal as it could get, she had been happy and her and Oliver were dancing around each other, neither admitting their feelings but playing their little flirtatious game, sneaking glances and touches whenever they could get away with it. Felicity was naive to think that happiness would last, after all, she did work with the arrow. 

A few years ago she was living a boring life of working in the IT department, oblivious to many of the problems in the world, sometimes hacking in to random servers just for the hell of it. Her life was boring back then but it was easy and normal and functional. Felicity wasn't suffering or scared for her life, she wasn't running from the law, she wasn't helping some vigilante guy get away with murder (or just helping him at all), she wasn't the talk of QC because no one thought she was sleeping with her boss.

She couldn't help but think if Oliver hadn't walked in to her cubicle at the IT department that day, then maybe she'd still be living that normal life, and maybe she would be happy now. But Felicity knew that, even after everything, she wouldn't change a thing about what happened because meeting the team, meeting Digg and Oliver, are what gave her life a purpose. They made her happy. They gave her strength. Even though whenever she was happy with them it would only last for a minuet before some great big danger came and ruined it, she had never been happier than when she was with them. Being that happy – even if it only lasted a little while – was worth every little bit of hurt that came after it. 

Meeting Oliver and Digg was the best thing that ever happened to her… but they didn't care enough to come and save her. Not that she really wanted them to save her because they'd get hurt. But god did she wish they thought she was worth it. 

Felicity sighed at her reflection and decided that this, marrying Rahz, might be her only way out, it might gain her some of his trust and maybe even get her the smallest bit of control over the league. This was the only way. This would destroy her, yes, but it might get her another step closer in the direction of destroying Rahz and therefore saving Oliver and the team from having to undergo any more of his torture. 

If Felicity had to destroy herself to keep the team safe then that's what she'd do. She wasn't worth being saved, but they were.

 

“Are you sure you don't need my help, Ollie?” Thea's voice questioned on the other side of the phone.

“Yes, I'm sure, you're helping enough by looking after Palmer Tech and her home.” Oliver told her.

“Okay, but if you need anything?” Thea asked forcefully. She really wanted to help.

“I'll call.” Oliver assured her. “Bye Speedy.” He said.

“Bye.” Thea said before hanging up the phone.

Oliver sighed and put his phone away turning back to the team. Thea had bee looking after everything since they had been gone. She and Walter were temporarily running Palmer Tech after they sent an email from Felicity's computer that said she wanted to keep the business but would not be able to run it right now due to her recent trauma and so she was temporarily handing it over to Oliver, Thea and Walter. Felicity had been granted six months of recovery time but Oliver hoped she'd be back before then. 

If Felicity got back and didn't want to run Palmer Tech then they could sell it to the highest bidder, but if she did want it they wanted it to be there for her when she got back. Thea had been looking after the city, and everything else. She was truly being amazing but Oliver didn't want her with them doing any real fighting because he wanted her as fr way from this as possible.

Oliver looked over to Malcolm who had just came through the door. He had a concerned look on his face that made Oliver worried. “What is it?” He asked the older man in a fairly calm tone

Malcolm hesitated before replying. “Nyssa said she hadn't made any improvements, or declined any further but she said that Rahz was planning something big and Nyssa wasn't sure how Felicity would deal with it. She looked concerned.” 

Everyone tensed at this. If even the assassin was concerned and scared then it had to be bad. If Rahz had something big planned then that was very worrying. Everyone had a few ideas of what it could be and none of those ideas were good, but none of them thought the plan could have been marriage. No one knew that Rahz wanted Felicity for her light and because he actually wanted her, everyone thought it was just to get back at Oliver. 

They were all wrong.

 

Felicity stripped of the clothes she'd only just put on and looked at her body in the mirror once again. In the past two weeks she had gained some more scars from training with Rahz, other league members, and weapons. None of these were scars she was proud of even though she'd earned most of them in winning a fight. She wasn't proud of anything she was doing here. They just made her feel more broken. 

Especially the new scar on her hip that Rahz had gifted her with the day after he'd rid her of all her scars. It was made with a scalding hot knife, he had drugged her once again and tied her up whilst he carved in to her skin. 'Rahz Al Ghul'. Felicity had woken up the following morning and screamed. She had lost it. She couldn't breath. She had torn the few pieces of furniture in her room to shreds. Rahz eventually managed to restrain her and gave her some other drug to calm her down. Felicity then realised she didn't know why she was still fighting because if all she was to everyone was a canvas which they could just ruin again and again not worrying about the consequences then so be it. Why should she try and fight it any more? Felicity had let Rahz tell her everything would be okay, that he didn't want to hurt her but it was necessary. She had let him pretend as if nothing had happened and they just continued as they had before with their training.

She slipped on the dress and the veil. After a few minuets of struggle she managed to zip herself up and then slipped on the white heels Nyssa had left in the room earlier. Felicity looked at herself in the mirror. She sort of looked like a princess, all dressed in white fancy clothes, but she didn't feel like one. Felicity remembered reading fairy tales as a kid and feeling resentment to all of the princesses who didn't feel like princesses or who didn't want to be princesses because they had been handed everything on a silver platter whilst everyone else was struggling. They had been ungrateful in her opinion. But now she sort of got it. Not feeling like you belonged? Yeah, she understood that now more than ever. 

Sighing, Felicity gathered her thoughts before walking out of the changing room with her posture straight and her head held high. She would show no weakness. Not even when she felt the world was going to crush her up in to a million pieces before swallowing her up. Felicity needed to marry Rahz, she would do it intentionally, tactically and she would pretend, even just for an hour, that she was okay with this. Felicity had gotten real good a pretending lately.

When Felicity stepped back in to the room Nyssa was shocked. Felicity looked beautiful and graceful but that's not what shocked her, the confidence and defiance that radiated off of her is what caught Nyssa off guard. The other assassins had left the room and it was only Nyssa and Felicity left. 

Nyssa and Felicity locked eyes for a second and Nyssa saw Felicity's mask falter slightly before she gave a small, silent nod which told Nyssa it was okay, that she was okay and that she was ready to get this over and done with, even if it was the biggest lie of her life Nyssa seemed to accept it. It's not like she had much of a choice anyway.

Nyssa swallowed and nodded once before pressing a small button which alerted Rahz and everyone else so that they knew she was on her way. “Let's go then.” Nyssa said leading Felicity out by the arm. 

Walking down the hall with her arm wrapped around Nyssa's was where the last bit of her mask slipped in to place. Felicity couldn't afford to have any cracks in her demeanour otherwise Rahz may see straight through her and in to what she was planning. She couldn't fail the team now. Felicity would do this last thing for them before she lost herself as an apology for everything she'd done to them, distracting them with Ray and everything else. 

Felicity would protect them one last time and loose herself in the process.

“You ready?” Nyssa asked once they'd reached the two big, heavy doors that would lead her to her fate. Nyssa new it was a stupid question, she was about to be forced to marry the demons head who not only had done terrible things to her, but was also more than twice her age, but she still felt the need to ask.

Felicity kept her head up and breathed a deep breath before turning to Nyssa and nodding. “Okay the, here it goes.” Nyssa said smiling a sad smile at the small courageous brunette. Nyssa wasn't aware of Felicity's plans that kept her calm and collected, if she did she would tell Felicity to not do anything to make up for anything she'd thought she'd done to the team, and Nyssa would tell the team they better hurry their god damn asses up, or at least do something to show they cared that wouldn't incriminate them all. But Nyssa didn't know. 

Nyssa knocked twice on the big doors and they were opened for them both. Nyssa led Felicity up the isle with Rahz' most respected assassins sitting either side of them. Felicity refused to look at the assassins surrounding her, refused to even think that this was her wedding, refused to acknowledge that she was about to marry the Rahz Al Ghul. She needed this over and done with, because this was going to break her. 

Rahz smiled at his girls as if he cared about either one of them. Nyssa felt both pride and sympathy for the little brown haired girl. She didn't know how Felicity was brave enough to carry all of this weight on her shoulders and still be able to stand up straight with her head held high and her shoulders back. Nyssa didn't even think she would be capable of being that strong.

Felicity stepped in front of Rahz whilst Rahz' most trusted assassin stood to the side of the pair as they stood facing each other, ready to pronounce them husband and wife. Nyssa went and stood to the side behind Felicity and waited for the ceremony to begin. 

Nyssa had met with Malcolm earlier and told him that Rahz had something big planned, that was very early in the morning before she even knew what that plan was. Now she wasn't sure whether she should tell Malcolm and the team about the marriage as maybe it was something Felicity didn't want them to know. Everything Nyssa told them was strictly need to know and she didn't know if this qualified. Not that it mattered right now. The only thing that mattered right now was Felicity and her fragile mental state and that's what Nyssa should be focussing on. Not Malcolm Merlyn and the team.

The assassin read out the vows and finally came to the question everybody had been waiting for, which both Felicity and Nyssa had been silently dreading. “Do you Rahz Al Ghul, Demons head take Dukhan to be your lawfully wedded wife, knowing there will be no divorce available whilst you remain demons head?” The assassin asked in a calm manor.

“I do.” Rahz spoke, looking at Felicity, fascinated with her as always.

 

The assassin then turned to Felicity. “Do you Dukhan take Rahz Al Ghul, Demons head to be your lawfully wedded husband, knowing there will be no divorce available whilst Rahz remains deamons head?” He asked without any sympathy or any feelings of any kind.

Felicity swallowed before answering. “I do.”

“I hear by pronounce you, in the name of the league, husband and wife.” That was it. She was trapped. “You may now kiss the bride.” spoke the assassin one last time. 

Rahz lent down to capture Felicity's full red lips in his own slim pale pink ones. Felicity had to fight back the scream that nearly came out, had to fight running away, had to fight at least trying to hurt him. Instead she just stood there like a throw pillow letting him kiss her. 

The kiss only lasted about five seconds but to Felicity it felt longer, more like five minuets or maybe even hours. 

Nyssa watched on in sympathy and disgust as her father kissed Felicity. They needed to get this girl out of here soon, before anything else happened. 

Rahz and Felicity exited the room after the ceremony by walking back down the isle and down another corridor Felicity had yet to see. She couldn't speak or do anything except follow Rahz. It's not like he could do anything else to her, anything worse than what he's already made her do. 

Felicity couldn't be more wrong.

The problem was that Felicity kept thinking Rahz had reached his maximum potential on how many bad things he could do to her, but he kept coming up with more and more and Felicity was shocked every time. Felicity didn't know if she could face another surprise, yet another surprise was what Rahz had in store for her next.

This surprise would destroy her, it would strip her of any dignity she had left, of any pride she still carried, of any hope she still dared to have. This would be the thing that one-hundred percent destroyed Felicity Smoak… at least for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the reviews, please leave any more suggestions any of you have. Thank you in particular to heidi2310 for leaving so many suggestions, giving me so many ideas, and helping me with this chapter. 
> 
> The next chapter is going to be the wedding night.


	17. Not an update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an update just wanted to clear some bits up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I in no way wanted people to be upset by my story and I apologise.

The only reason I was going to let her get raped again is because one person wanted it and no one else had expressed their opinion and I wanted to give the readers what they wanted. I will not let her get raped again as everyone else has said that's not what they want. I think her time with the league will end soon anyway because I can't just keep saying the teams plans are failing. I understand if you still don't want to read any further but I think maybe Felicity could still hold on to a little bit of hope and it could ignite if Rahz traps the team and try's to use her as a weapon against them, thinking he's managed to destroy and brainwash her, but then she might fight back but not for herself, for the team. Then when they get out and Rahz has faced justice then the team will help Felicity build herself back up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand if you still don't want to read and that wasn't meant to be a massive spoiler or anything but I just wanted everyone to know that I wasn't going to subject felicity to any more torture or rape.
> 
> Please still leave suggestions.


	18. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rahz has a surprise in store for Felicity and is hoping it will destroy her, though it might have certain consequences even Rahz couldn't see coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy. I know I am crap with updating but I'll try to be better, even though I'm sure I say that every time but still. Short chapter but I wanted to end it there. I will hopefully be updating soon.

Felicity went to bed that night in a different room. This room contained two double beds: One for Rahz and another for Felicity. Upon entering the room she had breathed a sigh of relief at knowing she would not have to share a bed with Rahz, she would never be able to deal with that. With all the bad things that had happened to Felicity recently that would have been too much.

Even though they were in separate beds, Felicity found it hard to sleep. Like insanely hard. She couldn't shake the feeling Rahz was watching her, but that's probably because he was.

Rahz didn't sleep, instead he watched over his little angel as she slept. He watched her all night long. He was satisfied with what he had done, he had tied Felicity to him. Rahz had Felicity for good and he wasn't letting her go. He hadn't succeeded in trying to find out what caused Felicity's light and harnessing it to make more people like her, but like this, by capturing her and tying her to him, maybe he could steal some of her light for himself. 

That didn't mean he was going to leave her alone now. No. That meant everything was going to get a lot worse for Felicity. That meant that now Rahz was going to push Felicity and train her even more. Push her past her limits. Watch her snap. Be the one to put her back together again, watching as each piece comes in to place. Stealing her trust. He would build her up from scratch, making sure to keep her light but taking her anger and fight against him, and focussing it on another target. One like Oliver and his team. 

Felicity would be one of his most prized possessions. His most efficient weapon. One he would use to destroy Oliver for good. One he would never get bored with. One that would be his forever.

Now.. just for how he was going to destroy her. Rahz couldn't wait to put that plan in to place. Couldn't wait to watch as it ripped her apart. As she completely gave up on her team and started fighting against them.

**

Felicity awoke on her own accord. Jumping upright in bed she saw Rahz looking down at her, towering above her, eyes as dark as the night sky, without the twinkle of the stars of course. He smiled a sick smile at her. 

“Morning Dukhan, my love, rise and shine. I have something truly amazing planned to kick off our honeymoon.” Rahz said, and Felicity swore she could see joking in his eyes, and the demons head? He never jokes. “Now, get ready, I have left some food for you to eat and clothes you need to get in to. I'll be waiting outside when you are ready.” Rahz told her and walked out of the room, leaving Felicity sitting on her bed staring in to nothingness.

After sitting and staring and going through everything that has happened since she's been here, Felicity breathed in a deep breath and got up. She ate her breakfast, knowing she'd need the strength, showered, and got ready for the long day that was sure to await her.

As soon as she was ready she knocked on the bedroom door, making Rahz aware that she was ready. Felicity knew she could have stalled a little longer but she knew that if she had done that then she would definitely have talked herself in to a panic attack. She couldn't over think this, she couldn't let the anxiety get to her. She wouldn't let it in and she couldn't let it show. That's just how it had to be. She needed to get whatever Rahz had planned over with so she could start planning how she was going to destroy Rahz and keep the team safe.

Rahz opened the door to Felicity, allowing her to step out in to the hallway as he shut the door behind her and grabbed her arm. Not hard enough to leave bruises, but hard enough to let her know she wasn't going anywhere. 

They walked to an open space outside. It was still within the walls of the league and surrounded by more guards than Felicity had seen since being here, but it was outside and it was the first breath of truly fresh air Felicity had breathed in months. 

Felicity relished in the feeling of the cold, sweet air filling her lungs, stinging the back of her sore throat slightly, and alerting her to the fact she must have been screaming in her sleep last night. The air helped her rising anxiety slightly, shocking her back to reality, because at the minuet the thoughts in her head were worse than what was really going on. But little did she know, that was all about to change. 

Standing in the middle of the open space, Felicity was gifted a sword. It was long and shiny and just like the other ones she had used in training. At first Felicity thought she was in for another battle with Rahz or someone else high up in the league, and that was why all of the guards were here watching. But she was wrong. 

A wave of dizziness rippled through Felicity and for a second she squeezed her eyes shut, putting one hand on her head, trying to regain her focus. When she opened her eyes there was in fact someone standing in front of her, someone she was meant to fight, but it was not someone from the league.

Felicity felt dread flood through her veins as she looked repeatedly from the sword in her hand to John Diggle's bruised and bloody face staring back at her. The look in his dark green eyes was sorrow, hurt, and worst of all hope. Hope as if she wouldn't hurt him. Hope as if she would get him out of this. Hope as if she could save him and everything would be okay again. 

Before Rahz, who was now standing a few feet away from her, even spoke the words Felicity knew what she was going to have to do. “Kill him.” Rahz ordered. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Felicity was supposed to be able to easily lie and cheat her way in to making Rahz have a little bit of trust in her and then she was supposed to save Digg and Oliver and the rest of the team. Not kill them. She couldn't. If they had Digg then they probably had everyone else and probably wanted her to kill them too. If Rahz had them already then what was the point of gaining his trust to save them. They could all be dead already, Digg might be the last one of the team left and she was uspposed to kill him?

Rahz saw Felicity's hesitation, which he had expected from her, and spoke again. “Kill him now.” 

Felicity swallowed hard and she found her head was unconsciously shaking 'no'. 

“Kill him now, or I will kill him myself.” Rahz said. “But, not before making you watch as I torture him and drain the life out of him, slowly and painfully. All whilst making sure he knows that the reason he didn't die a fairly painless and quick death is because you were too much of a coward to do it yourself. I will make sure he knows that you gave him to me on a silver platter.” He knew he was starting to sway her, starting to make her consider killing him. He knew what he needed to say next to make her agree to it. To make her end her best friend's life. “You know, Oliver, Roy, Laurel, they're not dead yet. I will spare them if you can do this for me, for them. I'm sure John Diggle wouldn't mind ending his life so that all of them may live. I will let them go. As long as they know I've got you here they will do anything I say anyway, so it wont cost me anything. What do you say Dukhan? Are you going to kill John Diggle yourself? Or are you going to make me kill them all, gifting them with a death full of pain and torture?” He asked her, a smirk settling on his old, wrinkled face.

Felicity looked back to John and breathed a shaky breath in. She had to do this. Not that she trusted Rahz's word, but she knew he'd follow through with the threat if she didn't do it. Maybe she could make it painless for John? Maybe he would tell her he was okay with it? But he didn't. He just looked at her with his dark green eyes filled with the same three emotions as earlier: sorrow, hurt, and worst of all hope. Hope? Why would he still have hope that she wouldn't hurt him? That she could get him out? It was almost like he hadn't heard anything Rahz had just said. 

Felicity tried to think of anything to get Rahz to let him go, or even to stall for a second. “I can't fight a man without a weapon. It has to be a fair fight.” Felicity spoke, praying not just that Rahz would give Digg a sword, but that Rahz hadn't trained her as well as she thought he had and that Diggle had more training with a sword than what she knew of.

“Very well” Rahz spoke, seeming to accept Felicity's terms, throwing a sword over to Diggle who caught it my the handle no problem. “Now fight.” 

It was Felicity who started the fight, doing a weak jab to Digg's side which he easily blocked. That was where the simple moves ended. Digg started fighting back, using everything he knew and Felicity, although she was shocked, couldn't blame him. He was fighting for his life and he probably thought she had been brainwashed in to being one of Rahz's killing machines. 

The fight lasted only ten minuets and when it ended Diggle was on his knees in front of Felicity, weapon-less and defeated. Felicity hesitated. She couldn't kill him.

Looking deeper in to his eyes, trying to find something else there – something other than the three emotions that seemed to be unwavering in his dark green eyes, Felicity found nothing. Nothing but what she had already said. Which was strange because if there was one thing she would always remember about John Diggle it was that, even though he was the voice of reason and managed to stay calm in most difficult situations, he had a lot of emotions and if you looked deep enough in to his eyes you could see what he was really thinking, what he was really feeling. He could always find a way to communicate with Felicity.

Even in their first mission together Felicity remembered having that bomb necklace around her neck and looking in to John's deep chocolatey brown eyes and having him reassure her, without words, that everything would be okay and that they would get her out of this. Since then they had been best friends. And best friends would never need words to communicate so something didn't add up.

'Wait.' Felicity thought as she looked back at Digg standing in front of her.

Dark green eyes.

Then Felicity looked back in to every memory she had of John Diggle, paying the utmost attention to every one of his features.

Deep brown eyes.

This wasn't John Diggle. Felicity didn't know what was going on here, but one thing she did know was that this man standing in front of her was not her best friend, and that this was a plan of Rahz Al Ghul to destroy her. 

Felicity knew what she had to do.

Even though she knew it wasn't really John Diggle in front of her, it didn't make it any easier to watch the light leave his eyes as he fell limp to the floor after she'd stabbed him through the heart with one of Rahz Al Ghul's swords. It broke her heart and she knew that if she was ever lucky enough to come face to face with him again she would wrap her arms around his neck and never let go. He was her best friend and she felt horrible for even considering killing him to save everyone else, even if that's what he would have wanted. 

Oliver too. After the amount of times Felicity had watched Oliver die on repeat in her own mind whilst Rahz had her drugged Felicity would not be letting Oliver go either. Life was going to be very difficult for the three of them if they were going to be joined by Felicity's arms for the rest of eternity, but hey, they'd make it work. 

Felicity heard clapping coming from next to her, breaking her out of her thoughts of going home to the team, she turned to face the source of the sound. Rahz Al Ghul. “Well done Dukhan, you have proved to me that you are now more loyal to me than you are your friends.” He praised her.

Looking back over to where Digg's body previously lay on the ground she saw someone else's body laying there, limp. Someone with dark green eyes. This person looked nothing like Digg so Felicity knew Rahz had definitely drugged her somehow, but that was not her main concern. She'd just killed a man. A possibly innocent man. She didn't know this person, and although he was in league attire she didn't know if he was actually a member. Or if he'd ever done anything to deserve this.

It was then that Felicity heard a scream from the crowd. “No!” An old woman, possibly in her late 60's, cried out as she rushed over to the body on the ground. She knelt near the man, checking his pulse, breathing in a sharp breath of air when she felt nothing. 

The woman looked to Rahz first. “We did everything you asked and this is how you repay us? Why would you do this?” She begged. You didn't usually see a league member beg, or showing any emotion, but this woman looked to be about to break in half with grief.

Rahz just shrugged. “It was a necessary evil. Dukhan's training is far more important than you son's life. He was useless to me.” He spoke, his voice loud and commanding, daring anyone to argue with him.

Then the woman's eyes, cold as eyes; sharp as daggers, cut in to Felicity. “You.” She ground out, grief forgotten and now replaced with a raw anger. “This is your fault.” 

What happened next no one saw coming. Felicity probably could have stopped the woman if she wanted to, but she didn't. She couldn't move. She was in a state of shock and guilt that she couldn't seem to shake. When the woman dived for the sword, previously knocked out of her sons hands, and went for Felicity, she honestly didn't care. She thought maybe she should die. It wasn't fair for her to kill others, to end other people's lives just to try and save her friends. As much as she would rather kill for her friends than her friends be killed, she couldn't. Maybe if she died, everything would be okay again. She wouldn't feel anything any more. Not the loss, not the pain, the guilt, the abandonment, the grief, or even the love she felt whenever she thought of her friends. It would all be over. So maybe that's why Felicity didn't stop her. Maybe that's why when Felicity felt the sword go all the way through her chest, she didn't feel the pain. Maybe that's why instead of pain she felt a strange sense of relief greeting her as the light filled her eyes and everything went a blinding white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any suggestions. Reviews and Kudos mean a lot so thank you to everyone who has left them. :)


	19. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and the team come to rescue Felicity but is it too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated quickly so I'm proud of myself. Writing gets worse towards the end but that's because I have been writing all night and it is now 5:37 am and I have not slept, so if it doesn't make sense it's because I'm delusional. Anyways, hope you enjoy! :)

Malcolm burst through the door of the cabin frantically searching for Oliver. It was not a hard task as the cabin was small and filled with quite a few people with everyone crowding in the living room, using it as their temporary work station. Upon hearing the door slam open everyone looked up in panic, only to have that panic grow when they saw Malcolm Merlyn rush in with a look on his face more concerned than ever before. 

“What is it?” Oliver ground out, standing up, readying himself for whatever was to come, half expecting Rahz Al Ghul to walk in here and demand to fight to the death within the next thirty seconds. 

Malcolm shook his head in panic and sorrow before answering. “Nyssa wouldn't tell me what happened, I found her freaking out in the spot we usually meet. I asked if something had happened with Felicity and she...” Malcolm trailed off finding he couldn't get the word out.

“She what?” Diggle asked, moving to stand next to Oliver.

“She cried. Nyssa cried.” Shock silenced everyone in the room for a good five minuets. Nyssa was an assassin and assassin's didn't cry. It was unheard of.

“She wouldn't tell me what happened but she was angry, upset, and she even looked frightened. She didn't speak to me the entire time until I went to leave and all she said was 'I'm sorry'” Malcolm informed them with a solemn look on his face.

Laurel's lips parted, Roy's eyes widened, Cisco's eyebrows drew together, Caitlin had to sit down, Barry's drink slipped from his hand, Diggle's eyes filled with tears, and Oliver's legs gave out leaving him to fall to the floor on his knees.

They didn't know what this meant, but they all had some kind of idea. They knew Nyssa and Felicity had been getting closer whilst Felicity was trapped in that god awful place and so they also knew that if Nyssa was crying over something to do with Felicity then it had to be terrible, something she couldn't control, and there was only really one reason why Nyssa would apologise. She would apologise if she had failed, and her one mission, the only thing she could have failed, was to protect Felicity as much as she could and keep her alive. 

That's why everyone's hearts were breaking and that's why no one had said another word. 

Even Malcolm's heart broke a little for the fiery blonde IT girl. Before all of this he'd had somewhat of a soft spot for the girl, but after this, after hearing everyone talk about her repeatedly and endlessly searching to help her for the past couple of months, somehow that soft spot had grown. He didn't even really know Felicity, but he felt like he did. From what he heard that's what she did. Felicity would slowly lull you in to falling for her and you wouldn't realise until it was too late that she had become a part of your life, she would gradually get you addicted to her like a drug and until you came off of that drug you wouldn't realise how much of an impact it had had on you. 

Diggle swore he heard his heart break in his chest when Malcolm told them. He knew this didn't mean that Felicity was definitely dead, but there was a good chance that that was what had happened. Felicity was his little sister and up until now he really thought they would find her and bring her home and after a lot of talking and a lot of time, things would start going back to normal for all of them. But now that dream seemed impossibly far away. So far he could barely even see it. He needed his little sister, even just knowing she was alive somewhere had been enough for him, he hadn't thought so at the tie, but it had, it was so much better than this. Than the not knowing. Than the very real possibility that she was dead and never coming back to them. He felt the tears slip down his face and tasted them as they fell on to his lips, salty in his dry mouth.

Oliver couldn't deal with the pain he was feeling. It was hitting him hard and fast and a million times over. All he could hear was Malcolm's voice: 'Nyssa cried.' 'She said 'I'm sorry''. No. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. This couldn't be happening. Like Diggle, he knew that this didn't have to mean Felicity was dead, it could mean that she was hurt but she was going to be okay, or it could mean anything else. But the cold hard truth had just slammed in to him like a brick wall and it was crushing him. He couldn't stand, couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't breathe. He needed her. He needed her to be sitting next to him telling him that she was okay. He needed her to wish him luck and tell him to be careful every time he went out to do his vigilante-ing. He needed her to patch him up and ask him a million times if he was okay after he got hurt in the field. He needed her daily rambles that could always make him smile. He needed her inappropriate accidental slips that sometimes managed to find their way in to his dreams. He needed her to be there telling him how much she believed in him even when he felt his worst. He needed her to expect so much good from him and to forgive him when he didn't deliver. He needed her more than he needed oxygen to breathe. Needed her more than he needed the blood in his body to live. He needed her. He was worthless without her. Felicity was so good, so pure, so unique, shined so bright, she deserved the world and more. She deserved to live a long and happy life with the people she loves the most and to die in her sleep when she is ninety-something years old. She was so much better than any of them and she couldn't be dead. He didn't understand how a light like that could just be switched off. How Felicity could just be gone. How any of this was possible.

Malcolm was the first to gain his composure back. “Look,” He started, looking at each one of the heart broken people standing before him. “This doesn't mean she's dead” He said, voicing their previous thoughts, but still managing to make everyone flinch. “But if she is alive she wont have long. I think the plan we have now is solid and it will work. We have to do it soon, like today soon, and we have to stay strong. Whether she's alive or not we have to go in there. If Felicity's alive we go in to save her, if she's not we go in to avenge her. Either way we are going in, tomorrow morning at dawn. Be prepared for a long and hard battle.” Malcolm said with finality before walking from the room and back out the front door.

No one actually knew where Malcolm went after he left the cabin, but it wasn't ever important, and he didn't come back until the next day or until he had new information.

Little words were exchanged between anyone on the two teams for the rest of the day, everyone feeling numb and preparing for battle. They silently went through the plan, making it fool proof so nothing would go wrong, until everyone decided to call it a night, heading off to their designated rooms. 

It wasn't until Oliver was lying in bed that night that he realised Felicity had to be alive. If she was dead he'd have known it. And know he didn't mean he'd be aware of it because someone would have told him. No. He meant he'd have felt it. He'd have felt broken and numb and like a part of him was gone forever long before Malcolm had the chance to warn him of the possibility. He hadn't felt that. He knew he sounded crazy, but he knew deep in his heart, in his bones, in his soul, that even though she was probably not in the slightest bit okay, she was alive and fighting for her life.

**

Rahz had killed the woman with the dead son on the spot, and her body had fallen limp on top of her son's, their blood intertwining. He had rushed over to his wife and checked her pulse, weak but still there, for now. She was no longer conscious though and her breaths were becoming weaker and weaker, shorter and shorter by the second and that scared Rahz. Not because he loved her. No. But because he loved her light. Felicity's light was a drug, he was exposed, and now he was addicted. He couldn't loose his fix. 

Rahz knew Felicity wouldn't make it, not naturally anyway, so instead of trying to get a league member with advanced medical training to help her, he gathered her in his arms and rushed her to the Lazarus pit.

The fear he felt when Felicity's breaths no longer came was immense, but by that time they had reached their destination and were surrounded by helping league members who rapidly set up the pit ready to heal her.

Rahz lay her down in to the pit and started chanting the same ritual he had chanted a month prior. 

Nyssa stood watching in the background. She had just watched her friend be killed. Felicity was dead, there was no way she would survive that. Now she was going to come back, but she wouldn't be the same. This was unnatural and it wasn't fair to Felicity. Felicity had died and it broke even Nyssa's heart, but at least let her die in peace and with dignity, bringing her back will only scar her soul and hurt her. Bringing her back will unleash something inside Felicity that wasn't there before. Bringing her back would destroy her more than killing her would have. Bringing her back was wrong and over these past couple of months Nyssa had gotten to know Felicity quite well, and she knew that Felicity wouldn't want this. Nyssa knew what the Lazarus pit did to people when they were dead and she didn't want to see that happen to a soul as bright as Felicity's. 

There was a cure to what the pit did, and of course Nyssa knew of it, but Rahz kept it for himself and would not share it with anyone in case something were to happen to him where he would need it. The only way to get it would be if Rahz was dead, and everyone knew that wasn't going to happen for a long time. No one could kill the demon's head. No one even dared to try.

Felicity rose from the water with a jump. At first she just stood there, taking in her surroundings, until Rahz took a step closer to her and she lashed out. Felicity was screaming, she was fighting, she was lashing out, she was trying to hurt people, she was panicking, she was aiming to kill, she was not 'Felicity Smoak M.I.T class of 09' and Nyssa didn't know if she ever would be again.

It took ten different league members at once to hold Felicity down enough to sedate her so they could carry her to her room where she would be tied down until she was well enough to be let free from the cuffs that were to restrain her from hurting anyone else. 

**

When Felicity woke up she felt groggy. Her head hurt, she ached all over and she couldn't think straight, her head a foggy mess. She let herself lie there for a minuet, trying to piece together what had happened.

She was fighting…. Someone…. Digg?… No… Someone who looked like Digg… Someone who wasn't Digg…. There was a lady… with a son?… a dead son… a son Felicity had killed… the woman had looked at her and…. 

Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh god.  
Oh god.

That woman had killed her. Felicity had been dead. 

Felicity jumped up with a start, only to be flung back to the bed by the restrains on her wrists, hitting her head on the headboard. She looked around frantically for answers, but she already knew what had happened. Yes, she felt achy, but she didn't feel sore. She knew, even if she had is-judged how deep the sword had one in and they'd managed to save her, Felicity would have felt extremely sore. But she didn't. She felt a strange liberation, an anger, an excitement, a darkness that threatened to take control. She knew this feeling, it was the effect of the Lazarus pit, but unlike last time when she'd felt all of this, this time it was much stronger. Last time the effects had been fairly weak and mostly temporary, this didn't feel as much so.

Felicity saw only one person in her room, a person she had grown closer to in the past couple of months, a person she had learnt to trust. But this person didn't look very happy to see her.

“You're awake.” Nyssa observed from her place at the far side of the room. Felicity nodded, her mouth too dry to speak. “How do you feel?” 

“Achy. Weird. What happened?” Felicity managed to croak out. Nyssa slowly made her way over to Felicity, almost apprehensive, as if Nyssa no longer knew who she was or what she would do.

“You remember being stabbed? You were dead. They put you in the Lazarus pit and now here you are.” Nyssa spoke, her voice devoid of emotion, just like every other league member here. That worried Felicity because Nyssa wasn't like any of them. Nyssa was her own person. Nyssa was special and different to all of them. Nyssa pressed a plastic sup of water to Felicity's dry lips. “Drink up.” She ordered and after a second of hesitation Felicity did as she was told. Relishing in the feeling of the cool liquid flowing down her throat, loosening her vocal chords.

Nyssa put the cup down next to Felicity and sat at the foot of her bed. “The Lazarus pit can have some lasting effects on people after bringing them back from the dead. Healing little injuries? That's fine, pretty much harmless. But bringing someone back from the dead? That leaves a mark on the soul. That can have terrible consequences. That's why your restrained and probably why you are feeling 'weird'.” Nyssa explained, her voice stony cold but the sorrow, concern, and hurt in her eyes betrayed her. 

Felicity didn't call her out on this though. Instead she just sat there nodding stupidly as if she actually understood what was going on here. As if she understood that she'd just been brought back from the dead. Was that actually something you could ever understand? Felicity wasn't so sure.

After gathering her thoughts Felicity asked Nyssa the question she knew she was going to ask: “What do you mean by effects? What kind of effects?”

“Anger, outbursts, darkness, blood lust.” Nyssa listed, watching Felicity intently for her reaction.

“Blood lust?” Felicity said with a hint of fear in her voice. “As in I'll want to kill people?” She asked incredulously, eyes wide in fear and disbelief. At Nyssa's confirming nod she continued. “But I don't want to kill people. I know I don't.” Felicity told the assassin, thinking she must be wrong. 

Nyssa nodded again. “You feel that way now, but if you were in a fight you might not be able to help yourself. And if you do manage to resist it and don't kill anyone then you die. The life that was given to you must be sustained by taking other people's lives.” 

“So I would essentially be stealing someone's life for my own? No. No, there must be a cure, you must be wrong. I-” Felicity cut herself off shaking her head. Just thinking of how she felt after killing that man made her want to throw up. The thought of feeling that way again? No. She wouldn't do it. Not even if it meant she would die. 

Nyssa nodded again. “There are two ways to cure it but neither are of any help to you. The first one is to kill the person who killed you, and ten you wont have to kill to survive any more. The lust will be gone. But my father already killed the woman who killed you so that wont work.” She informed Felicity.

“And the second way?”

“The second is a medicine, kind of, made from a lotus flower. I know of only one that exists though and my father keeps it for himself. He won't give it to anyone, he's too selfish for that.” Nyssa said and saw any last remainder of hope leave Felicity's eyes. Seeing the girl she'd gotten to know instead of the monster who'd jumped out of the pit trying to kill all of the assassins yesterday, she took pity on her. “I'm sorry Felicity.” Nyssa spoke softly, using her real name in hopes to remind Felicity of who she is and why she is fighting. 

Felicity looked up at Nyssa and in to her eyes, her resolve and her strength starting to come back, and said. “You did nothing wrong.”

Then there was a little beep coming from Nyssa. She pulled out what looked to be something of a pager from her pocket and read whatever message it produced in front of her. “Crap.” She breathed out quietly, but Felicity still heard. 

“What? What is it?” Felicity asked.

Nyssa's head shook and she looked at Felicity one more time before standing up and walking towards the door. “It's nothing, plans are just falling in to place a little earlier than I anticipated but not to worry.” Nyssa opened the door and just before she shut it she called back to Felicity “Prepare for the fight of your life.” before disappearing behind the door.

Felicity didn't know what she was supposed to do with that. With any of it. With Nyssa's words from before, or with what she had just told her. Felicity wished Nyssa had explained, but she trusted her, and if Nyssa had told her to do something she would do it. She would be prepared for a fight, even with these restrains on, and even with the threat of the blood lust that would probably make an appearance just as she started to fight. God, this was all so complicated. 

**

Nyssa went out in search for team arrow, team flash and Malcolm Merlyn and just as she expected they weren't hard to find. They had been spotted already and were fighting a whole bunch of assassins. Nyssa watched fro the sidelines, knowing she wasn't to get involved yet. She needed to be the element of surprise. Surprise was the only thing they had going for them at the minuet and they had two surprises in store for Rahz. The first one being Nyssa was fighting with Team Arrow, and the second one being he wasn't in control of Felicity. Even if Felicity didn't know she was involved in the plan, or even that any of this was taking place, she was, and she was a big part of it. Nyssa just hoped that the Lazarus pit hadn't changed her as much as she feared. That's why Nyssa had been in Felicity's room. She was observing her, making sure she still had her light, making sure that Felicity was still there, and so far, from what Nyssa had seen, she was, and she was relieved.

**

The fight lasted a while and Team Arrow held their own against the league pretty well, Barry's speed was especially helpful in that, but there was so many league members that it was hard to fight them all off. One by one the team was taken down. Starting with Laurel, the least experienced, and then Roy, Digg, Malcolm, and finally Oliver. All being held with a sword to their throat. Barry was the last one left standing as his speed made it almost impossible for him to be caught. That was when Rahz brought out a freeze gun, not unlike the one Captain Cold had used on Barry a long while ago. That was Rahz's element of surprise. He knew they would be coming. He'd hoped he'd have more time, but he has still been prepared. He managed to get Barry on his third shot and Barry fell to the ground, numb and weak. He was picked up by a league member and held with a sword to his throat like the others. 

This was it. This was their big plan and it was already failing. They wouldn't get another chance after this. This was all they got. 

They were all dragged through two big heavy doors and in to a large room filled with around twenty assassins. Nyssa still stood in the corner waiting to the perfect moment of when to enter. Even though the plan was currently going down hill, Nyssa had faith it would work. That was weird for Nyssa. She hadn't had faith since Sara. Maybe Felicity's light really was contagious after all.

The team watched as Rahz whispered orders to one of his most trusted assassins who then promptly nodded and left the room. 

“So,” Rahz started. “You thought you could beat me?”

**

Felicity was sat alone in her room staring at the blank walls feeling more anxious by the second. She didn't know what was going on but every now and then she'd hear a scream or a shout or something. Felicity was straining, trying to hear everything when an assassin opened the door making her jump back in to reality, her nerves all standing on edge. Ten assassins walked in, two of them released her from her restraints and whilst the other eight struggled to hold her down as she fought against them. Then all of them had their hands on her and were dragging her out of the room.

“You're husband wants to see you.” One of the male assassins informed her in a steely voice and Felicity got a feeling that she was about to find out what Nyssa meant when she said she was to be prepared for the fight of her life.

The journey from her room to Rahz wasn't long but she weakly struggled the whole way there. She knew it was no use but she did it anyway. She felt that maybe if she didn't fight then it would be like giving up and admitting defeat already, and that just wasn't Felicity. 

Felicity was dragged in to the room with the big heavy doors until she stood in front of Rahz. “My love, it's so nice to see you awake.” Rahz greeted her, but Felicity didn't say anything in reply, she didn't even react. She just stood there, the assassins arms still firmly holding her in place. “Release her.” Rahz ordered and immediately they let go. “Look my love, we have visitors.” Rahz said and Felicity spun around and her breath caught in her throat.

In front of her was Malcolm Merlyn, Laurel, Roy, Barry, Diggle, and Oliver. She was suddenly both very relieved and happy, and very scared and angry at the same time. Felicity was so happy that they were alive and that she got to see them again and relieved that she might get out of here, but she was also very scared about their safety and angry that they would all risk their lives to come and save her. 

Felicity didn't say anything though. She couldn't. Didn't know what to do or say. Didn't know what she was supposed to do or say. She understood now that this is what Nyssa meant. She was going to have to fight for her life and theirs. She would have to fight like never before. Now all Felicity wanted to know was where the hell was Nyssa? Surely she was here somewhere and wouldn't make her do this alone?

**

Upon seeing Felicity everyone, dispite the swords at their throats, relaxed slightly and breathed a sigh of relief. She was alive. She was breathing. But looking down at Felicity's clothes they knew something bad had happened. 

Felicity hadn't changed out of her clothes yet so she was still wearing the outfit she wore yesterday stained with blood after being stabbed and the team was concerned, but the fact that she was walking around without difficulty meant that their worry could wait a minuet until this was all over with. 

Felicity turned back to Rahz, awaiting whatever orders that were sure to be stumbling out of Rahz's mouth any second now. And she was right. 

“Kill them for me Dukhan” Rahz told her. Oliver knew the translation of that was 'Smoke' and so he realised pretty quickly that it was Felicity's league name. He realised that they had taken away from Felicity her name, her hair, her clothes, her colour, her individuality, but still here she was and, even standing up there in some blood filled clothes, was still shining brighter than any diamond he'd ever seen. Oliver wasn't worried that Felicity would kill them, and neither was the rest of the team, but Felicity had no idea what she was supposed to do. She didn't yet have a weapon and she understood that she was supposed to be an element of surprise of some sort to take down Rahz but first she'd have to get The team released from the assassins so they'd have a fighting chance. But again, she had no weapon. Another thing Felicity was worried about was loosing it when she started fighting. What if she couldn't control herself? What if she killed again? What if she hurt one of the team? 

Felicity felt the anxiety bubble up inside of her but managed to push it back down. The team needed her. She couldn't let them down now. She swore she would do whatever it took to destroy Rahz for them and that's exactly what she was going to do. She was going to be smart and she was going to get them all out of this. 

Felicity took a deep breath, made sure her ask was firmly in pace, and looked straight in to Rahz's eyes and said “Okay.”. 

Nyssa had to admit, the mask even fooled her for a second and she actually thought Felicity might do it.

Rahz gave Felicity a sword. Assassins from all around the room watched her carefully as she walked perfectly straight with the sword in hand towards her team. 

First she walked over to Malcolm, praying that he'd understand whatever message she was about to give him and praying that they could trust him. “Step away.” Felicity told the assassin holding the knife to Malcolm's throat. When he didn't move she continued in her stone cold voice, the perfect imitation of all of the other league members. “Unless you want me to accidentally stab you whilst I'm killing him I'd suggest moving.” Felicity 'suggested' although it came out like more of a demand. 

The assassin looked to Rahz who gave a slight nod and continued to look on in fascination at his wife.

The assassin stepped away from Malcolm slightly, and lowered the sword from his neck, but he did not leave. Good.

Felicity took a deep breath in and out, looked in to Malcolm's eyes and in her head counted down. 1, she got the sword ready in hand. 2, she ran through what she was going to do one last time. 1, she gave Malcolm the tiniest of nods and he ducked down just as Felicity jabbed the sword to where his head would have been, effectively slicing in to the assassins chest. Felicity then got the sword off of the assassin and passed it to Malcolm. 

The five other assassins holding swords to the team got ready to slice their throats until Barry, who'd had enough time to recover, moved at flash speed and got out of the assassins grasp and in the blink of an eye had freed Digg, Oliver, Laurel, and Roy from their guards who were now lying tied up on the floor. 

There was a small moment of victory, just for a second, where Felicity met eyes with everyone. That moment ended however when a full on fight started. The room seemed to fill with more and more assassins who would run at them with swords and other weapons. Everyone started fighting with weapons they'd stolen from defeated assassins, but they soon realised they were outnumbered. So much so that no one even noticed Felicity's fighting. Not yet anyway.

Felicity was small and fast so she managed to slip in and out of assassins as they came their way. She knew what she had to do. She had to get to Rahz. She had to end this. On the way to Rahz, however, she couldn't help but get in to some fights. And that's when the blood lust kicked in. 

Felicity fought the assassins with a hunger and skill. She'd managed to kill three assassins when she heard her name being called. It was Nyssa. “Felicity stop! This isn't you!” She shouted after taking down an assassin of her own.

Nyssa was able to get the jump on some of the assassins as they thought she was fighting with them instead of against them so she had already taken down her fair share of assassins. 

Felicity looked from Nyssa to all of her team fighting their own fights and tried to remember who she really was. How could Nyssa be so sure this wasn't who Felicity was, when Felicity didn't even know who she was herself? Not any more. 

Felicity swears she could feel the lightness and darkness of her soul fighting each other, competing for dominance. She wasn't sure what side was going to win until she caught Oliver's eye.

It was only for a split second, but in that time she saw that he hadn't given up on her, she saw that he believed in her, she saw his relief at seeing her alive and she knew she couldn't give up on him. She wouldn't. Whether killing was her or wasn't her didn't matter, for now she would resist the blood lust and get to Rahz because that's what mattered and that's what was going to help her save Oliver and save the team. 

When Felicity finally got to Rahz she saw how furious he was with her, with Nyssa, with everyone and she felt the slightest bit of comfort and pride from that fact. “I taught you everything you know. You couldn't possibly defeat me, Dukhan.” He said talking to her as if she was a child and suddenly everything he'd done to her and made her do since he'd kidnapped her rushed through her mind and the anger from each and every one of those things built up inside of her.

“My name is Felicity. And you can watch me.” Felicity challenged him and her grip on her blood-covered sword tightened. Truthfully, she wasn't sure if she could defeat Rahz or not, but she would do this for the team, for Roy, for Laurel, for Barry, for Digg, for Oliver, for Nyssa, and most importantly for herself. She would fight back after all of the horrible things he's put her through and she would show him that he didn't destroy her. That's she's stronger tan that. Stronger than him. And maybe she needed to see her team, her friends, her family to realise that she needed to fight for and live for them, just as she needed them to fight for and live for her, but that was okay. It was okay that her team made her stronger, because even if she didn't know who she was, she would always be a part of the team and the team would always be a part of her. They would always have each other's backs. 

Rahz had taught her to harness her anger and to only focus on herself during a fight, but he was wrong. Love and friends and happiness give you strength, they give you a reason to fight. That was how she was going to win.

Felicity and Rahz fought evenly for a while. Felicity's pulse was high on adrenaline and fear as she tried to both keep up with Rahz and keep her blood lust at bay which proved to be harder than resisting mint choc chip ice cream whilst on a diet. Figures. She couldn't risk loosing herself in this fight because that might be what makes her loose. If she let herself go and showed no restraint then he would definitely win. She needed to be patient. And patient she was. She could tell she was winding Rahz up after fighting evenly for another five minuets he finally made a riskier move that didn't pay off in his favour.

Felicity had fought with Rahz a few times before now and so she knew what his moves were. He always liked to wait for the other person to make their move first, and then his first move would be to take a jab at the stomach and then go quickly for the head. Felicity anticipated a lot of his moves and kept her cool which was very useful. But she could anticipate them all. Felicity may have been able to land a lot of good blows to Rahz, but he was able to land his fair share of good blows on her too. Such as one to her thigh, a small one to her neck, one to her stomach, and another to her arm. But they both kept fighting. Each one as stubborn as the other, refusing to give in.

Oliver, Diggle, and the rest of the team had seen Felicity fighting with Rahz by now and were incredibly shocked and frightened for their IT girl, realising she was trained and could obviously hold her own, but not knowing how trained she was or for how long she would last with a great fighter like Rahz. But she did last. She lasted a while and after each fight with each assassin they faced they would look up and check on Felicity and there she would be, still fighting with Rahz. The team managed to take out a lot of assassins but it seemed like they just kept coming. There was a never ending supply of assassins and everyone was really starting to doubt how long they'd last.

That was when Rahz finally made a mistake. Felicity made him think she was going for his head but instead went for his arm holding the sword, cutting the inside of his arm, deep, deep enough that if left he would bleed out, deep enough that he dropped his sword and Felicity was able to nock him to the ground. “Go on then, be the killer I know you are. Be the killer I made you in to.” Rahz spoke, trying to put her off, trying to make her hesitate, trying to get out of this.

He may have always pretended not to care, but Rahz Al Ghul was very afraid of dying, Felicity could see that now, and it brought her a sick sense of joy knowing she was the cause of his current anxiety. 

“I will kill you. Not because I'm a killer, but because this is the only way to stop you. This is what you deserve for everything you have done. Not just to me but to everyone. You haven't made me in to anything, you didn't create me and you don't own me, you have only made me stronger. You have no control over me any more. Goodbye.” Felicity said before taking the sword and feeling it as it cuts through the skin of his chest and comes out again leaving Rahz to fall limp to the floor. 

Everything went silent.

Everything stopped.

Everyone stared.

Felicity looked around and saw everyone was staring at her and Rahz's lifeless body. An assassin walked over to Rahz's body and checked his pulse, being weary of Felicity standing only a few feet from him.

“He's dead.” the man announced and turned to face Felicity. She half expected them to all turn to her and kill her, but instead, one by one, the knelt down in front of her bowing their heads, until all of the assassins were on their knees. 

Nyssa walked over to her father's lifeless body and removed the demon's head ring from his chubby fingers and stood up in front of a highly confused Felicity.

“Whoever kills the demon's head is the new demon's head unless they pass it on to someone else, so here. This belongs to you now.” Nyssa told her with a sad smile passing the ring to Felicity.

Felicity shook her head, finally understanding why all of the assassins were bowing to her. “No, it doesn't. It belongs to you. There's no way in hell I'm becoming demon's head.” Felicity told Nyssa passing the ring back to the raven haired assassin. 

“Are you sure?” Nyssa asked trying not to let any emotions show, but again the look in her eyes betrayed her. This time it was a look full of hope.

Felicity nodded her head, smiling slightly. “Are you kidding me? Of course. You want this, to stay here and be demon's head, it is your birth right. I, on the other hand, want to get the hell out of here.” Felicity said. 

Nyssa nodded. “Very well.” She said before placing the ring on her finger and breathing a deep breath. “Just so you know the league is here if ever you need it, you'll always have a home here and we will always help you.” Nyssa told her. “Don't go yet though, I have something for you first but I need to go and get it. I'll be back in a minuet. In the meantime, you catch up with your friends.” Nyssa said before leaving the room to go and get whatever it is she needed to give to Felicity before she left.

Felicity turned to look at her friends and in that moment no one cared that Felicity could fight, that she had just killed people, that they were all covered in blood whether it was their own or someone else's, that everyone's clothes were pretty much torn to shreds, all they cared about was the fact that they were family and they hadn't seen Felicity in months and that she was back. Everyone reached a mutual understanding and Felicity made her way over to them. Felicity was moving towards Oliver and Diggle first. First they were all walking towards each other but that wasn't quick enough, so they all but ran in to each other's arms and Digg and Oliver held Felicity tight, not wanting to let go, scared she'd slip away from them.

Felicity did exactly as she'd promised and wrapped her arms around both of their necks at once, holding on tight, reassuring herself that they were really here and everything was going to be okay. After a few minuets Felicity gently pulled back from the hug, first turning to Diggle who had tears running down his face just as she did. She pulled him in for another quick hug, this time just them two, and then let go. Digg wiped Felicity's tears away with his hands and kissed her forehead. “I've missed you, little sister.” Diggle said and Felicity's laugh got caught in her throat clogged with tears.

“I missed you too, big brother.” Felicity chocked out. 

Felicity then turned to Roy who stood with Laurel, Barry, and Merlyn a few feet away from where she stood with Digg and Oliver. “Good to have you back, not-so-blondie.” Roy joked as he gave her a small tight hug. “Boss is scary without you.” He added, whispering in her ear so 'Boss' couldn't hear.

Felicity smiled at him as he pulled away. “Good to be back, Harper.” She said and Roy smiled back.

Then Felicity moved on to Laurel. Wordlessly Laurel wrapped Felicity up in a hug, slightly shocking her but Felicity returned the hug for a few seconds before pulling away, exchanging smiles, and turning to Barry.

“Felicity, I'm glad you're safe.” Barry said before hugging her tightly.

“Thanks Barry, I've missed you.” She told him pulling away and looking towards Malcolm Merlyn.

“I know you probably didn't do it for me, but thanks.” Felicity said to him. She now found she had the slightest bit of respect for Malcolm and that was slightly worrying to her. 

Malcolm nodded. “Any time Miss Smoak.”

Then Felicity turned back towards Oliver and she breathed a deep breath before walking back over to him until she was stood directly in front of his face. “Felicity.” Was all Oliver was able to breath out, but it was enough. Felicity threw herself in to Oliver's awaiting arms again and they held each other tightly, neither one of them wanting to let go. Having Felicity in his arms meant Oliver could finally relax for the first time in months. Being back in Oliver's arms meant Felicity felt safe for the first time in months. 

“Oliver.” She breathed out in to his chest as her tears dampened his already blood stained arrow suit. He still hadn't taken off the hood or his mask yet and when Felicity pulled back she wanted to see his face. First she gently removed his mask and Oliver looked down. His hood cast a shadow on his face so she still couldn't see him. Then, with delicate fingers, Felicity ran her hands through his hair as she pushed the hood off of his head. That was when Felicity saw the tears falling freely down his face.

Felicity gulped before wiping away his tears with her thumb and hugging him once more. 

They were interrupted by the sound of Nyssa fake coughing and they pulled away from each other to stand side by side, but Oliver couldn't bare not touching her, afraid that she would drift away from him again, so he laced his fingers with hers. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but I have something for you and you all need to get going.” Nyssa spoke with a smile as she handed a small bottle of something to Felicity.

Felicity's eyebrows drew together in confusion. “What is it?” She asked inspecting it.

“The lotus cure.” Nyssa told her smiling again at Felicity's shocked expression. “Go on then, drink it, you haven't got all day.” 

“How much?” Felicity asked still inspecting the bottle carefully.

“All of it.” Nyssa replied. Hesitantly Felicity undid the bottle and brought it to her lips she drank the surprisingly not terrible liquid. When she was finished she put the lid back on and Nyssa took it from her. “Good, now no more blood lust and you will be okay. Okay?” Nyssa said and Felicity nodded in reply. “Okay now, goodbye Felicity M.I.T class of 09'.” 

Felicity shook her head and smiled. “Bye Nyssa, and thank you.” Nyssa just nodded before walking over to Rahz's body and dropping a torch over it. 

'good' Felicity thought. 'Now he can't come back'

Felicity and the team made their way out of the league and walked the long walk back to the cabin, but no one minded. They didn't ask about what happened to Felicity in there, or about the lotus, and instead they talked about silly little mundane things and joked a bit, for which Felicity was grateful. She wasn't okay with any of what had happened to her or what she had done, not by a long shot, but for the rest of the day she just wanted to ignore it. She would talk when she was ready. But that time wasn't now. Now she wanted to joke with her friends, laugh, and pretend the past few months didn't happen… she also really wanted a shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. leave any suggestions. thank you to everyone leaving Kudos and reviews, they mean a lot. :)


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